Caroline quotes from Malcolm in the Middle

Caroline

Okay, your Holiness, would you start the gay... as in happy... Harvest Possession.

Malcolm

What do you mean he's only seven?!

What's not to understand? He just turned seven. I guess you were too busy beating people to notice!

Malcolm

He CAN'T be seven. He's bigger than I am!

He's in second grade! [cleaning up Kevin] Look at all this blood...

Malcolm

That's not blood, it's pizza sauce! Well that's blood, but...

Caroline

Oh my God... OH MY GOD! What happened?

[bawling] I want my Teletubby!

Malcolm

A doll?! You can't play with dolls if you're seven... WHY ARE YOU SEVEN?!

Caroline

You beat up a seven-year-old?

Malcolm

I didn't know!

Caroline

Malcolm, I don't blame you. I put this squarely where it belongs... [close to tears] On me!

Malcolm

[to camera] Oh, man. This is the most horrible thing I've ever done! [to Kevin] Kevin, I'm sorry!

I think you've done quite enough.

This is the worst birthday ever!

Caroline

Oh, come on. We've studied this. There is nothing dirty about the miracle of life. And we should all be able to discuss this openly.

Dabney

Who's the father?

Stevie

Does he... work here?

Caroline

All right, you know. I told you we are not playing this game again!!