Lloyd quotes from Malcolm in the Middle

Malcolm

Dabney has three dentist appointments every week. His teeth look fine to me.

He's not going to the dentist. He's going to the "dentist." It's the secret code for the school therapist.

Malcolm

Those guys are nuts. I'm funny!... Aren't I funny?

To be honest, you can be a little caustic.

Stevie

The word... is arrogant.

Dabney

How about bitter, sarcastic and handsome? (Lloyd and Stevie stare at him) (points somewhere) Hey, she's cute.

Hey, check out the newbie.

Stevie

Fresh... meat.

Dabney

[to Malcolm] You no longer have to live in fear.

Malcolm

What are you talking about?

Dabney

The hazing we put you through is over.

Malcolm

What hazing?

Oh, come on! When we gave you the warped lunchtray. When we dulled the points on your pencils. When you sneezed and no one said "Bless you."

Dabney

I still feel bad about that.

Malcolm

Would you shut up!

No, see, it's a play on words.

Malcolm

I said shut up!

Stevie

What...a jerk!

Is that what we're going to turn out like? If I ever start acting like that, you have to promise to kill me!

Dabney

No! No more death pacts!