Gantu quotes from Lilo & Stitch: The Series

Mine!

Mine!

Mine!

Mine!

Miiiiine! [Gantu accidentally lets go, causing him to launch himself onto a slide]

Be careful, little Googoo! Don't hurt the poor innocent slide!

Lilo

Hey, there, little guy. We're not going to hurt you. We're here to give you a new home. But see that guy over there? [points to Gantu, who still has the crate over his head]

Gantu

I'm going to vaporize you, trog, just as soon as I can see you!

Lilo

Well, if you come with us, we'll keep you safe from him. Okay? [holds Slugger's hand]

Mertle

Hey, Weirdlo! Ready to meet your doom?

Gantu

We're going to destroy you.

Lilo

You're cheating! You put Gantu on your team!

Mertle

So? You have a new player, too!

Lilo

It's not the same.

Mertle

You're just scared!

Lilo

I'm not scared!

Mertle

Then let's sweeten the bet: Whoever wins, gets him! [points to Slugger]

Lilo

Slugger?! I bet I know whose idea that is. [looks up at Gantu, chuckling evilly] You're on! I'll even have you first at bat.

Mertle

Who said we were playing baseball? I thought we'd play basketball this time.

Lilo

What?!

Mertle

You did say any time, any place, any game!

Lilo

I... I did?!

Stitch

Ih. You did.

Lilo

But I... I didn't mean to!

Hämsterviel

Gantu!

Gantu

Doctor Hämsterviel! I was just practicing my tactical maneuvers.

Hämsterviel

I do not care about you plastic amusements! It is your failures at capturing my experiments that sickens me to the bone!

Gantu

But, sir, it's not my fault. It's that abomination 626 and that young female Earth form...

Hämsterviel

SILENCE!!! You're good at nothing but the pathetic excuses. That is why I am giving you job to someone infinitely more competent!

Gantu

More competent?! But, I...

Hämsterviel

You failed me, Gantu! As of this moment, you are fired!

Gantu

But you can't fire me!

Ouch, hurts to be you. Listen, a word of advice: Before you go looking for a new job, put on some pants. [Gantu smashes his bath toys in rage]

Gantu

Hello, I'm here about the ad for aliens. I'm an alien.

You're a fired alien! That's what you are!

Gantu

Fired?! What, how would you-- [Hämsterviel pops out of the Professor disguise] Dr. Hämsterviel?! You're suppose to be in prison!

Hämsterviel

Three-day furlough! Just enough time to hire a new assistant! [points to Stitch]

Gantu

The abomination!

Hämsterviel

Yes! With 626's destructive programming in place, he will help me capture the other experiments! You will not! Goodbye! [the door quickly shuts]

Gantu

But...

Hämsterviel

Give me that! I recycle! [slams the door again]

Warning. Experiment 360 activated. Primary function: sleep inducer.

Gantu

[covers the computer with a pillow] Just five more minutes, mother.

Hämsterviel

WAKE UP, YOU SQUID-LIP EXCUSE FOR A MOLLUSK!! A pod has been activated!

Gantu

But sir, it's the middle of the nocturnal Earth cycle.

Hämsterviel

Shh, do you hear that? It's the sound of I DON'T CARE!!! I got big plans for tomorrow, so there is no time for beauty sleep!

[yawns] Too bad, he really needs it.

Gantu

What big plans, sir?

Hämsterviel

I have been monitoring Earth's television transmissions for over a month. And I believe I've identified the most powerful, influential human on the planet! He is always on the TV, obviously using mind control to mesmerize the Earthlings! And in two days time, you are going to capture him for me! [laughs maniacally]

Gantu

Really? Who? How?

Hämsterviel

Just bring the new experiment!

Hey, sport, why the long face? [Gantu sighs sadly] I know what's wrong. You though I forgot.

Gantu

About what?

About your birthday! [places a candle on a giant sandwich stack]

Gantu

It is not my birthday!

Ah, come on now. Don't be shy! I promise not to make fun of your age, or your lack of accomplishments.

Experiment 062 activated. Primary function: prepare delectable and irresistible meals.

Or how few experiments you've captured! Uh-uh! Not today!

Gantu

[grabs a container and his plasma gun] Thanks. I appreciate that.

Oh, now don't go away mad! Not on your special day!

Hey, sport, ya in there?

Gantu

Go away!

Listen, I know I was a little mean to you, and your birthday, no less, so I'm here to make it up to ya.

Gantu

I told you to go away!

Ya see, I figure you're sad because you're trapped on an alien planet so far from home, right? So I made some phone calls...

Gantu

[opens the door] What are you blabbing about?

Uh-huh, and I invited your college buddies to come for a visit!

Gantu

No!

SURPRISE!!!

Happy Birthday, G!

Whoa! He really let himself go!

Gantu

How many times do I have to tell you?! IT'S NOT MY BIRTHDAY!!

Why didn't I just fire you and--?! And... What is going on here? I'm so large and rubbery!

Ugh! A big fluffy rat! Wait, no... THAT'S ME!!

You mean, I have become you?!

And you've become me! [sneezes loudly]

Why are you making such annoying noises?!

[begins scratching so hard that his fur sheds] Apparently, I'm allergic to your dandruff, sir. [sneezes again] But not to worry. I'm sure the experiment will swap us back to our normal bodies.

NO! Come back here! [tries to press the buttons] Buttons too tiny! Oh! How do you do anything with these flabby sloth-like appendages?!

Once again, I am forced to pay for your incompetence! Now I must go and capture that experiment myself!

Yes, sir. Then you can swap us back?

Yes, or maybe... NO! For me, that would be going back to prison!

Yes, I suppose it... [sneezes] would.

[laughs maniacally] I'm free at last!

But, sir, that's not fair!

WHO CARES ABOUT FAIR?!

Oh, this is inconceivable! I am Doctor Jacques Von Hämsterviel! How is it that I cannot find one stupid little experiment?!

[hands Hämsterviel a few dollars] Here ya, fella. Chin up, big guy! I'm sure it'll get better.

Hello?

It is I!

I knew you'd call.

Oh, alright, I admit it! It isn't easy being so big and clumsy! There! Are you happy now?!

Getting there. What do you want?

I want to know where we can find that stupid experiment so we can swap bodies again!

I know just the place you should check. [sneezes and wipes his nose]

Greetings, Earthling pack people! I have come for the experiment known as 355!

Victoria

Whoa!

Meega nala kweesta!

Ah, new roof hinge system I installed working perfectly! Keeps repair bills down.

Very thoughtful!

Please, put me back in my own body! PUT ME BACK IN PRISON!!

Lilo

If you insist. Stitch, would you do the honors? After 355 swaps him back, we'll find his one true place.

Jumba

That 355 will not swap back willy-nilly. Must be properly motivated.

Stitch

Ih! [cracks his knuckles]

Pleakley

Wait a minute! Why not try a little positive assentive? Like offering the little guy some of my delicious cuisine as a reward?

Jumba

Ah, excellent idea. If 355 does not swap Hämsterviel and Gantu, he will be given nothing to eat except Aunt Pleakley's famous Chocolate Green Beanses Surprise.

Pleakley

Must you twist everything?!

Experiment 113 activated. Primary function: negative event generator.

Sounds like this one makes bad luck.

Gantu

Bad luck, eh? [chuckles] I smell a big bonus.

Hämsterviel

Yes, you do smell, Gantu. BUT NOT A BIG BONUS!! A bad luck experiment?! Ha! You're about as funny as you are useful, which is not at all. Don't be a waster of my time, you time-wasting waster!

Gantu

But, sir, I thought you wanted all the experiments.

Hämsterviel

"But, sir, I thought..." BLAH!! I am sick of your attitude, you squinty-eyed trout face! Only contact me if you find something TRULY DESTRUCTIVE!!!!

Whoa, whoa! Wait a second! Look at this!

Gantu

Quiet! I do not want to here anything more about 113!

But--

Gantu

But nothing! Go make a sandwich!

Well, gee, you don't have to be a jerk about it!

Gantu

Yeah? What are you gonna do about it, trog?!

Look, I'm trying to tell ya that--

Gantu

I'm not listening! Na, na, na-na-na-na!

Okay. Have it your way, trout face!

[sees the large storm cloud on the weather map] Ah, look at that storm. Must be that good luck experiment, huh?

Gantu

Good luck? But the computer said it was bad luck!

It is, but you can switch to good luck.

Gantu

Why didn't you say so before?!

[chuckles and pulls out a tape recorder] Caught it all on tape.

Quiet! I do not want to hear anything more about 113!

Gantu

But...

But nothing! Go make a sandwich!

Gantu

You can't talk to me like that!

Yeah? What are you gonna do about it, trog?!

Gantu

[aims his plasma gun at the recorder] INSOLENT DEVICE!! SILENCE!!

I'm not listening! Na, na, na-na-na! [Gantu destroys the recorder]

Wow. Whoever said "fish is brain food" never met you. Oh, and you're buying me a new tape recorder.

Hämsterviel

GANTU!!! Is this what I pay you for?! What do I pay you for? GET UP, GET UP, GET UUUPPPP!!!

Gantu

I told you, I have a cold! [sneezes so hard that it blows 625 to the wall]

Hämsterviel

I do not pay you many hundreds of my valuable dollars to lay around like a lounging lounger!

[looks at the thermometer] Wow! What a fever! Hey, Hammy, we're gonna need some tarter sauce! Fish-stick here is burning up!

Hämsterviel

UNACCEPTABLE!!! If you do not find me one experiment today, I will go to wring you hour on the hour until you do! [turns off transmission]

Gantu

625, see if you can find any of your trog brethren! Oh, and can you make me a chicken soup sandwich?