?"Lenore" (Bill)
(in falsetto voice) Why do you keep calling me "Bill?"
S3 E9Pretty, Pretty Dresses
Bill, can't you see that this whole Lenore thing is your problem? The iguana, these presents, this old tree, get rid of the stuff!
No! No, I couldn't. I couldn't. See, when, when she comes back--
She's never comin' back, it's so obvious. She doesn't want this stupid stocking!
Do you like iguanas, Ms. Tobbins?
S3 E10A Fire Fighting We Will Go
I'm a fireman! I'm a... [trips over cooler] ...hudafu.
"Heck, I thought I'd go ahead and sharpen all the axes."
(singing) Hank's a lumberjack and he's okay...
CECheat Elderson
[to Dale] Hey, shades. Plug in my Alamo sign, will you?
Better not, Dale. It doesn't work right, remember?
[as he sings, he sits back and tries to plug in the sign.] (singing) Be-a-bay, be-e-be, be-i-bickey-bi-be-o-bo-bickey-bi-bo--
I said, "not to."
Be-u-bu...
Whatd'ya got under the foil, Mr. Party Pooper, some party poop?
Yeah, man, I tell you what, man, dang ol' detector, man, government take away freedom of smoke, talkin' 'bout yo, man.
Yeah, man, I tell you what, man, dang ol' boy ain't right, man, talkin' 'bout kicking dang ol’ ass, man.
(speaking at normal speed very clearly) For God's sakes, Hank, act like an adult, man. And keep it down, guys, will you? I am trying to get through an article on vintage Camaros, and I've been on the same dang page for twenty minutes.
Dang ol' pretty, pretty pizza, man, I tell you what.
HDHeck Dorland
I got bad news, men. Chet Elderson died. Natural causes. (Bill farts while his butt is hanging out the top of the fire pole) Oh, for cryin' out loud!
My face hurts.
And it'll match your ass when I'm done kicking it!
Come on, Hank, pick up the pace.
(Struggling to keep his damaged glasses on) I can't see where I'm going. (Turns to Bill) Damn you, Bill.
Shh... Man, dang ol' disrespectful. (Also turns to Bill) Man... lift, Bill, man.
I am. It's Dale, he's faking it.
(Barely holding the casket with his arm) Am not.
Dale, no wonder my end feels so heavy. Get your hands on the casket.
It's bad luck.
Told you it was bad luck.
I've kept a journal of all the violations these three nincompoops have committed, and I'll be happy to turn it...
I've read that journal. It's all lies. (Points to Hank) Hank did it. (Then points to Bill) Bill did it too. I begged them not to!
You chicken-necked ass, I'll kill you! (Bill grabs Dale by the neck, resulting in Dale pushing Bill into Boomhauer and Bill pushing Dale into Hank, sparking a minor brawl between Bill, Dale, Boomhauer, and Hank.)
FCFire Chief
Oh, for heaven's sake. (Spraying the fire extinguisher on Hank, Bill, Dale, and Boomhauer to put an end to their brawl.)
FCFire Chief
Well, I thought you guys had reached your peak when you pantsed Chet Elderson at his funeral, but then you outdid yourself by burning down YOUR OWN FIREHOUSE!!!
S3 E11To Spank, with Love
DDooley
Tu eres muerto.
S3 E12Three Coaches and a Bobby
Bobby, I didn't think I'd ever need to tell you this, but I would be a bad parent if I didn't. Soccer was invented by European ladies to keep them busy while their husbands did the cooking.
Why do you hate what you don't understand?
I don't hate you Bobby!
I was talking about soccer.
Oh yeah, I hate soccer.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's King of the Hill pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.