Thank you! Merry Christmas! Bye bye! [chuckles]
Are you sure Uncle isn't running a fever?
JackieJade, Uncle loves Christmas. It is when sales are best. [Uncle cuffs him] Ow!
Commercialism not important! Christmas spirit is. [puts Santa Hat on Jackie's head]
[walks in with a tray of cookies] Aah, Mother's recipe.
[obviously lying] Yes. And.. we will be so... happy to see her for the holidays, Tohru.
We must leave some out for you know who.
Jackie
Who? [Tohru grows worried when they see Jade standing behind them] Oh! I mean uh, I am sure Santa will be very hungry tonight. [Tohru chuckles]
Tch. Nice try. But I'm old enough to know the low down on the Kris Kringle scam.
Jade, you do not believe in Santa Claus?
Sure I do. Just like I believe the Tooth Fairy, right Jackie?
[flashback; Jackie tries to place a dollar under Jade's pillow only to be caught by her]
[back to the present]
Jackie
I told you the Tooth Fairy was sick and I was filling in.
Tooth fairy does not exist.
I have research to prove it.
The whole time I've been in America, I haven't grown one inch. I'll never grow up, Jackie.
Jackie
Patience, Jade. Enjoy your childhood while it lasts.
Tch. I have a billion years of school left. I can't reach anything in the freezer and I never get invited on your missions. Way enjoyable.
Jackie
While Uncle and I search for the horse, you two will wait here and stay out of trouble.
Now see here, just because I look like a child doesn't mean you can treat me like one!
Jackie
I am treating you like a criminal. Tohru will treat you like a child.
Now... [pops knuckles] Are you going to be a good little boy?
We must bring the ox to the sanctuary of the Ben-Shui Temple before the forces of Dark Chi descend upon us.
[suddenly appear] Consider yourselves descended upon, Gramps.
[as they corner all but Jade against a cliff] You know how much we care about you guys, but Daolon Wong been riding us to get rid of you once and for all.
We're sure gonna miss you.
[the Dark Enforcers are suddenly crushed by a falling boulder that Jade sets free]
Jackie
Uhhh... Goodbye Chan?
[as Jade plays a video game in her seat]
[Jade groans as Uncle takes away her game, then Uncle notices Jackie working]
Jackie
Uh, I am multi-tasking.
[Uncle takes away his notepad] Now you are one-tasking!
[to Jackie and Tohru] So you think Uncle's old friend calls him "Uncle" too?
WWing
[to Uncle] Chuckles, is that you?
JTJackie, Tohru, and Jade
[to each other] Huh?? Chuckles??
WWing
So, you remember your nickname
Ha ha ha! Who can forget those fuzzy caterpillars living over your eyes?
WWing
And your never-ending pranks and gift of laughter.
[turning to Jackie} Is he talking
WWing
So, you have come to
[the background actors exchange slight bows with Uncle out of respect]
And to introduce my family to you. My nephew Jackie...
WWing
Ah, yes. Butterfingers.
Jackie
Uh, hello. I have heard so much about you. I am sorry I have to run. I am mounting an exhibit at the pacific Asia museum. Uh... Bye-bye. [he rushes off]
Please excuse his manners. And this is my apprentice Tohru.
[playing handheld video game which pings] Hehe. [clears thoat] This alarm tells me I must tend to the shop now. A pleasure meeting you. [waves goodbye before rushing off]
And last, but not least, my great-niece Jade.
Duplicates are imperfect. They contain flaws, like Chang's extra hand, but each is more powerful than its human counterpart due to its magic.
Aw, we can take them Unc. We'll face off in the epic battle royale! Human vs clone, good vs evil, Jade vs Jade!
You missed Uncle's point! Magic must defeat magic!
["Jackie" enters the room]
Look who decided to show.
JCJackie Clone
Sorry I am late.
Now, one more thing. We must be very watchful for these defective duplicates.
[Jackie enters the room in a rush]
Jackie
Uncle, we must watch out for-
Jackie
What?! [sees his clone] No! Wait! [is tackled by the J-Team] I am me! He is not me!
JCJackie Clone
Tricky clone, isn't he?
Which is the real Jackie Chan?
I have a little quiz only the real Jackie could answer. Jackie, when is my birthday?
JJJackie and Jackie Clone
Oh... uh...
[bummed out] Jackie, I thought we were pretty good friends...
Ahem. Hey Jackie, will you take me to Moose World this weekend?
JCJackie Clone
Of course!
Jackie
-not! You have homework!
[points to the clone] There's your clone.
[pause; Jackie's clone kicks the door down and runs off]
JCJackie Clone
Sorry, I'll be back to destroy you later, thank you!
Jackie
Wah!
Before you get mad, listen. The capital of Kansas is Kansas city.
Jackie
The capital is Topeka and that is not the point!
Uh, oh. [Stares at Tarakudo] Whoa.
You. [Recognizes Jade] Ah, the former queen of the ShadowKhan returning to the forces of darkness. [Jackie swoops up Jade]
Jackie
Thank you, no. Not today!
Jackie Chan Adventures · 738 quotes
