Captain Black quotes from Jackie Chan Adventures

Captain Black

I don't care if you are wearing a dress, Valmont. You are NOT going in the little girl's room!

Captain Black

Mr. Wong, you're under arrest.

Jackie

Augustus Black! What are you doing here? Ow, what am I doing here?

Jackie

I didn’t think these were your pack-up singers. Where have you been? I don’t hear from you for six years... Boom! You’re in San Francisco saving my butt. Oh, those thugs must've knocked me out.

Captain Black

Actually, I knocked you out.

Captain Black

Tried to warn you.

Jackie

How did you get down here?

Captain Black

The stairs.

Jackie!

Captain Black

Who is that?!

Jackie

No relation.

Captain Black

Young lady, how did you get in here?

Jade

The stairs.

Captain Black

Care to explain how our security was penetrated by a child?

Jade

I’m not a child! I’m Jackie’s niece.

Captain Black

Didn’t know you had a niece, Jackie.

Jackie

Join the club.

Captain Black

Jackie, I never meant for your family to get involved in this.

Jackie

It’s not your fault. The Dark Hand was after the shield. [Uncle cuffs him.]

I told you! Shield not important! The talisman in the center of the shield is. That is where the magic lies.

Jackie

[running towards Captain Black and Jade, who is still possessed] Captain Black, get away from her!

Captain Black

Whoa there, Jackie!

[in possession of Jade's body] Grr!

Jackie

She's not really Jade! The Talisman's magic has turned her into a sheep! [stuttering] Uh, no, I mean- Look, I'll prove it. [looks around, grabs the Melvin Moose mascot] What's the moose's name?! The name!

[in possession of Jade's body] Grr!

Give you a hint, it's another word for wedgie.

Jackie

You can't name it, can you?! You're evil! YOU'RE EVIL!

Did the demon have any specific markings?

Captain Black

Red eyes, great big claws, and razor sharp teeth isn't SPECIFIC ENOUGH FOR YOU?!

Thousands of demon sorcerors have existed throughout history! I need more information! A symbol, a name, ANYTHING!

Chan!

Jackie

[annoyed] Go away! We have no more Talismans!

The demon's name...Shendu!

Shendu's former palace is located near what is now Hong Kong. His vengeance is to begin at the toll of Midnight, ushering in the Chinese New Year.

Captain Black

Chinese New Year? That gives us only a couple of days!

Jackie

Less. Hong Kong is sixteen hours ahead of San Fransisco!

Captain Black

We'll take Section 13's fastest transport!

Finding the demon is not enough. One must have a means of... [reaching for a book he cannot reach] ...defeating it... [Tohru grabs the book and hands it to Uncle] Thank you. I will come with you!

I will come... [grunts in pain] ...too!

Jackie

Umm...that's okay.

Captain Black

Tohru, why help us?

I am told Section 13 serves donuts on Thursdays.

Captain Black

Let's turn up the heat.

No! Shendu is immortal. Magic must defeat magic.

Captain Black

He's out cold! Men!

Aiya! No! Magic must defeat magic!

Captain Black

Argh...

Captain Black

That tears it! Men!

Who else wants a piece of Uncle?

Captain Black

What happened?

See? What have we learned?

Magic must defeat magic.