Viper quotes from Jackie Chan Adventures

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Scenes with Viper 7

You are under arrest!

Viper

You do realize we both go to jail, right?

I am not a crook! I am an archaeologist!

[Jackie accidentally knocks over a vase and breaks it, sounding the alarm.]

JVJade and Viper

Way to go.

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Hsi Wu

What? No music while I bathe? Sing for me, my little caged songbird.

Viper

.....Tweet. Tweet.

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SShendu

Get away from the Book! Surrender, your team has been neutralized!

Big whoop. [runs to the Book of Ages] If I can't find Shendu's changes, I'll make some of my own! [begins writing] "...and then Jackie grew twenty feet tall."

[Jackie Chan suddenly grows twenty feet]

Now Jackie is the greatest!

SShendu

YOU! [charges Jade]

Shendu! [leaps and kicks Shendu to the ground]

DGDai Gui

The girl!

[writing more] ...Here comes...Super Tohru. [Tohru is transformed into a flying strong superhero, and tosses Dai Gui aside; Jade continues writing] Say hello, to Robo-Viper. [Viper is transformed into a mechanical robot warrior]

Viper

Like nuking fish in a barrel. [blasts Bai Tza]

[takes the brush from Jade] My turn! [writes and grows El Toro bigger]

Hey! No fair!

Now El Toro is the greatest!

[takes the brush back] Jackie is!

[they fight over the brush, causing El Toro and Jackie to grow bit by bit]

El Toro!

No, Jackie!

El Toro!

Jackie!

El Toro!

Jade Jackie!

El Toro!

You want to defeat the demons? Yes? Then write that Uncle banishes the Demons already!

JPJade and Paco

Duh!

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JSJade's Parents

Jade!

Mom! Dad!

JSJade's Mother

Cousin Jackie!

JSJade's Father

Uncle!

JSJade's Mother

What brings you to Hong Kong?

TTohru

Hong Kong Moose World! [winks at Jade who winks back]

Uh, look at the watch Jackie got me!

Moose World? Can I go too?

El Toro Fuerte

What mooses? We were fighting Demo- [is elbowed by Viper]

Viper

Uhhh traffic! We were fighting Hong Kong traffic to visit you.

So I could show you how much I've learned in America.

JSJade's Mother

We know you have been doing very well there, Jade.

JSJade's Father

No doubt due to Cousin Jackie's excellent training.

In all honesty, it is Jade who sometimes trains me...

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That was useless! I already knew the thief could fold up.

Yeah, but now we also know that he steals the finest Far East Art.

Viper

Hey, the kid's a good listener.

How come you never listen to the things I say? For example, "Stay with Uncle"?

Aw man...

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Viper

You're a real master of disguise.

El Toro

El Toro Fuerte never removes his mask.

Viper

Wish I could remove these pajamas. Not used to such a roomy fit.

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Duplicates are imperfect. They contain flaws, like Chang's extra hand, but each is more powerful than its human counterpart due to its magic.

Aw, we can take them Unc. We'll face off in the epic battle royale! Human vs clone, good vs evil, Jade vs Jade!

You missed Uncle's point! Magic must defeat magic!

["Jackie" enters the room]

Viper

Look who decided to show.

JCJackie Clone

Sorry I am late.

Now, one more thing. We must be very watchful for these defective duplicates.

[Jackie enters the room in a rush]

Uncle, we must watch out for-

TTohru

It is Jackie's Clone!

What?! [sees his clone] No! Wait! [is tackled by the J-Team] I am me! He is not me!

JCJackie Clone

Tricky clone, isn't he?

El Toro

Which is the real Jackie Chan?

Captain Black

I have a little quiz only the real Jackie could answer. Jackie, when is my birthday?

JJJackie and Jackie Clone

Oh... uh...

Captain Black

[bummed out] Jackie, I thought we were pretty good friends...

Ahem. Hey Jackie, will you take me to Moose World this weekend?

JCJackie Clone

Of course!

-not! You have homework!

[points to the clone] There's your clone.

[pause; Jackie's clone kicks the door down and runs off]

JCJackie Clone

Sorry, I'll be back to destroy you later, thank you!