Jackie quotes from Jackie Chan Adventures

Feh. Floating head cannot be oni!

It can't?

Of course not! Everyone who has control the ShadowKhan has been Chinese! Shendu, Chinese! Daolon Wong, Chinese but oni are Japanese. [Uncle hears the beeping sound coming from Jackie's laptop]

Jackie

Radar indicates Dark Hand jet has landed in Hong Kong.

See? Hong Kong, Chinese.

It goes on to say that Tarakudo once terrorized the land of the trusted oni generals. Each demon general control its own army which was composed of different tribe of ShadowKhan. [Jackie slaps his forehead]

Jade

Uh... Different how?

Jackie

I will prefer not to find out.

Tarakudo's reign came to an end when the spirits of his generals were trapped within masks. 9 generals,9 masks.

Jade

9 different types of ShadowKhan.

Jackie

Let me guess. The masks were scattered across the Earth?

Yep. Uh.... One more thing. Should the 9 masks ever be rejoined their combined power summon enough ShadowKhan to engulf the entire Earth eternal darkness.

Aiya! Tohru, you must do research!

He must?

You were told by childhood tales of oni by mother. You read Japanese, you are Japanese so you must do research!

Jackie

Jade, go with Uncle.

Jade

Aw.

Jade

I miss him already.

Jackie

Jade! I told you to go with Uncle! Not stay with...Uncle.

Jade

Tch. No wonder I'm confused. Too many uncles.

Jade

Karaoke break, anyone?

Jackie

Jade, the first rule of research is patience.

Being away from my shop for so long makes me... nervous?

Jackie

Uncle?

[Sighs] I'm only getting in your way. Tohru has knowledge of Japanese which Uncle does not, Tohru gets willies from oni which Uncle does not, Tohru knows tricks with vegetables which Uncle does...

Jade

Jackie, Scruffy hates puppy prison. How long we keep tormenting him this way?

Jackie

Jade, Scruffy must attend obdient school until he learns to listen. No doubt he takes after his master.

Jade

Har, har. Look I can prove Scuffy obeys all my commands. You ready, boy? Play dead.

Jackie

Oh, [chuckles] Jade,why don't you stay here and help Uncle find Farmer McDonald and his friends more appropriate logics.

Jade

Aw....

Jade

Wrong museum, Jackie. Mask is Japanese, not Jurassic.

Jackie

Jade! I thought I told you to help Farmer McDonald find a place to stay?

Jade

Tch. Did.

Jackie

Why did I let you talk me into this?

Jade

You said it yourself, Jackie. You're too fat.

Jackie

I said, I am too heavy to climb the totem pole without risk of damaging it, Jade.

Jade

Heavy, fat. Same dif. Hey! He looks just like his mugshot!

Hak Foo

[Breaks down the trees] It will fit smugly... upon my face! Flying squirrel cracks acorns!

Jade

Hi, Jackie.

Jackie

Jade!

Jade

You watch Captain Black's back and I watch yours.

Jackie

Go, go, go!

Not!

[Chuckles evilly] Look what washed up on deck.

Jackie

Jade, what are you doing here?

Jade

Heh heh. Looks like I'm catch of the day.

Gimme back my mask, Chan.

Or it's anchor's away for your niece.

Jade

The demon from planet Ur...

Jackie

Jade!

Jade

Er... Neptune!

Jackie

Uncle, please.

No, Uncle has it coming. [hits himself] Uncle had opportunity to warn Tohru, but did he? No! All because of silly argument. Now my apprentice is in danger of becoming demon. [hits himself] One more thing, Tohru was right. Uncle says "one more thing" too often.

Jade

[Angry growl]

Jackie

Wah! Jade!

Jade

Who is Jade?! I am the Oni Voodoo, mystress of dark.

Jackie

Oh, Makeup? [Groans] Jade, you shouldn't scare people like that.

Jade

Tch. Scaring is the whole point on Halloween, Jackie. And I have to win the scariest costume award at school tonight.

Jackie

But all things you have to choose...

Jade

I don't know anything scarier than oni demon, do you? [Grabs Jackie's hand] Now, come on! Time's are wasting!