Shendu quotes from Jackie Chan Adventures

After nine centuries, all twelve Talismans have been recovered. Yet I possess only two, while Jackie Chan has ten! You have failed me, Valmont!

[in possession of Jackie's body; writing in the Book of Ages] So it is written, so it shall be!

Keeping one's enemies close is not just wise, it is gratifying.

Centuries of history altered, your very memory erased, and still somehow you defy me! [holds up the seeking device] I shall find you, Chan. And I promise you, I shall erase more than your memory!

Chan possesses yet another Talisman, while I have none?! You are weak, Valmont! And your men are fools!

That's it! I ain't taking no more lip from a statue! [proceeds to pull out a handgun]

I am no statue! You stand in the presence of a Demon Sorcerer! I once held dominion over a vast empire, but my subjects betrayed me. They cast a Chi spell which imprisoned me in this pitiful icon, where I have remained for 900 years! The twelve magic Talismans, from which I drew my power, were scattered to the winds.

Whoa.

You got jacked.

Acquisition of all the Talismans, will allow me to be free of my confinement, and walk the Earth once again.

Valmont

At which point we will be rewarded the lost treasure of Ching Xi Hung. Well worth taking a little lip, don't you think?

Uh... Smile for the camera!

[in possession of Jade's body] Soon I shall devour your soul!

[gasp]

Jackie

[running towards Captain Black and Jade, who is still possessed] Captain Black, get away from her!

Captain Black

Whoa there, Jackie!

[in possession of Jade's body] Grr!

Jackie

She's not really Jade! The Talisman's magic has turned her into a sheep! [stuttering] Uh, no, I mean- Look, I'll prove it. [looks around, grabs the Melvin Moose mascot] What's the moose's name?! The name!

[in possession of Jade's body] Grr!

Give you a hint, it's another word for wedgie.

Jackie

You can't name it, can you?! You're evil! YOU'RE EVIL!

Jackie

Oh! Who are you?

[in possession of Jade's body] Your executioner.

Jackie

Jade... stop. [she knocks away his hand on her head]

Jackie

Ah, stop that or I... uh [stammers] will give you a spanking!

[in possession of Jade's body] As you wish, this is not my body.

[in possession of Jade's body] [struggling to break from the hold] Weak little girl.

[furrowed brows] I am not weak!

Valmont

You know, Shendu, these Talisman expeditions, let's just say are raking up some hefty out of pocket expenses. And as of yet, there's nothing coming back into my pocket!

When and only when your men acquire all twelve Talismans, the lost Treasure of Ching Xi Hung shall cover your...expenses...ten thousand times over.

Valmont

The reputed lost treasure.

Ah, so we have a skeptic.

Patience, Valmont. Slow and steady wins the race.

Valmont, your men are supposed to acquire Talismans! Not sell pets!

Valmont

Perhaps if you'd given fair consideration to the advance I requested, none of this would have-

WHOA! I did not know he could do that!

Valmont? Where is the Dragon talisman?

Valmont

My men are on it.

Your men could not find their own shadows, and your incompetence continues to stupefy me.

Valmont

Oh? I'll stupefy you- [the Shadowkhan appear around him]

Temper, Valmont...

Valmont

Shendu, I beg your forgiveness.

You may earn it. Rumor tells of a talisman hidden at the North Pole. Dress warmly...

The Rat Talisman is the key to my freedom, Valmont. It will reanimate me to flesh and bone.

You mean, you get back all your dragon power and stuff?

Valmont

No, Shendu will still require the other Talismans, and our continued assistance for that.

Judging by experience, I will remain in this petrified form forever. And you will never lay your eyes on the lost treasure of Ching Xi Hung!

Big V, d-d'you think you c-could turn up the h-heat?

Allow me.

That's plenty!

Much o-obliged.

Valmont

Careful, Shendu. If you charbroil the help, they'll never find the next talisman.

The next talisman is insufficient, Valmont. I need all twelve to shed this petrified form, and regain my true powers.

Valmont

We are working on it, Shendu.

With your customary ineptitude, once again, this Chan has snatched a talisman from your so-called professionals...

Too bad Chan ain't working for us!

Valmont

Perhaps he can be persuaded...

Valmont

You failed to retrieve the talisman, and you sat on this! [holds the broken Seeking Device]

The Seeking Device was forged by magic. Such things are hard to come by.

Apologies, master.

Valmont

Perhaps the time has come to have a freelancer lead future missions...

No need, master. I will do better!

Valmont

Ah, too late! Tohru, meet Hak Foo.