Dark Ratso quotes from Jackie Chan Adventures

No way he's human.

Haha, we're like superheroes, who steal stuff!

[picking up Jackie's Chance Jackson mask] I liked you...

Not!

Why is the boss taking gut from a statue?

‘Cause it talks.

Mr. Valmont, sir. It didn't go quite as planned.

Valmont

Regale me.

[lying] Well, we stomped Chan-

-Stomped him good!

But we didn't see any talisman.

Valmont

You will be punished.

Hmm, didn't take Chan as a sports fan.

What sport? Wrestling's fake, everybody knows that.

Jackie

Oh, I'm so sorry! I broke your spy camera. [pauses] Spy camera?

Chan!

Jackie

You! Uh... Dark Hand guy!

[visiting Jackie in prison] Hey, bro.

Jackie

What do you want?

What rock...is the legless reptile under?

Jackie

What?

Tell me where the serpent, sleeps.

Jackie

What are you talking about?

WHERE'S THE SNAKE TALISMAN?!

Jackie

Don't you read the newspaper? I took the Pink Puma.

Jackie

See? No Talisman. Like the gizmo says. Now if you'll excuse me, my delicious prison food is getting cold.

Chan possesses yet another Talisman, while I have none?! You are weak, Valmont! And your men are fools!

That's it! I ain't taking no more lip from a statue! [proceeds to pull out a handgun]

I am no statue! You stand in the presence of a Demon Sorcerer! I once held dominion over a vast empire, but my subjects betrayed me. They cast a Chi spell which imprisoned me in this pitiful icon, where I have remained for 900 years! The twelve magic Talismans, from which I drew my power, were scattered to the winds.

Whoa.

You got jacked.

Acquisition of all the Talismans, will allow me to be free of my confinement, and walk the Earth once again.

Valmont

At which point we will be rewarded the lost treasure of Ching Xi Hung. Well worth taking a little lip, don't you think?

Uncle!

Jackie

[looking around] Where?

Valmont, you are da bomb! Pun totally intended.

Hey, ain't ole dragon breath gonna start wondering where his rock is?

Valmont

Pity. It's doing wonders for our cash flow.

One more heist, Big V?

Valmont

One for the history books.

The Rat Talisman is the key to my freedom, Valmont. It will reanimate me to flesh and bone.

You mean, you get back all your dragon power and stuff?

Valmont

No, Shendu will still require the other Talismans, and our continued assistance for that.

Judging by experience, I will remain in this petrified form forever. And you will never lay your eyes on the lost treasure of Ching Xi Hung!

Have a nice swim, Chan.

Hope you haven't eaten for an hour. [waves mockingly]

Jade

Jackie!

You! [points at Ratso] Fanboy. The doll. [points at Gnomecop atop a trash can]

[investigating the trash can] sniff sniff TurboTroll is near...

notices Gnomepower! [jumps over the enforcers toward Tohru; Jade slips free as Gnomecop distracts them]

Jade

Here he is~ and there he goes! [sticks TurboTroll in Tohru's pant leg; Gnomecop dives in after it in chase. Tohru spins around frantically trying to get Gnomecop out]

Jade

Hang on, Jackie! [Jade cannonballs into the water without hesitation.]

Jackie

Jade! Jade?

Big V, d-d'you think you c-could turn up the h-heat?

Allow me.

That's plenty!

Much o-obliged.

Valmont

Careful, Shendu. If you charbroil the help, they'll never find the next talisman.

The next talisman is insufficient, Valmont. I need all twelve to shed this petrified form, and regain my true powers.

Valmont

We are working on it, Shendu.

With your customary ineptitude, once again, this Chan has snatched a talisman from your so-called professionals...

Too bad Chan ain't working for us!

Valmont

Perhaps he can be persuaded...