Jackie quotes from Jackie Chan Adventures

Jackie

And you went through all the trouble to see us... why?

Let's see, maybe... oh a little something I like to call REVENGE!

[lowering the Shapeshifting Monkey into the Kilauea volcano] Uh oh, my simian senses are tingling!

Jade

We want our monkey, monkey!

Oh, it's all about him isn't it?! You think he's funnier than me, don't you?!

Jackie

Uh, of course not! Everyone knows that the Money King is the funniest ape of all.

I do not think he's so funny- [elbowed by Jade]

Well you'll really love my weird sense of humor when you and monkey-boy are swimming in lava, 'cause I'm gonna make Kilauea blow sky-high!

The Monkey King cannot activate volcanoes!

Just watch me, gramps! I know a family recipe! [begins tossing ingredients into the lava pit] Magic monkey syrup, pure cane sugar, one carton of aged goat milk- EEGH! [Daolon Wong appears behind the Monkey King] An untuned Hawaiian guitar, a fine tuned tuning fork, a tuna on rye, hold the mayo-

Daolon Wong

[grabs the Monkey King] Talisman power, be mine!

Paws off the fur, Shakespeare! I'm busy here!

Now what's a city feller like you want with a 280 pound Hampshire Boar?

Jackie

Uh, good question, Farmer MacDonald. Well, I am an archaeologist and-

You mean like a eye doctor?

Jackie

Uh, no. That is an optometrist. Archeologists study very old things.

Old? Mordecai ain't turned three yet!

Jackie

Please, can't we just talk about- [attacked]

Jade

Maybe they don't know how to talk.

My brother E.B. here graduated Stanford Phi Beta Kappy.

And Buford here is a renowned nuclear physicist. [throws Jackie against a wall]

Jackie

Dr. Buford MacDonald??? Your books are very insightful.

Thank ye. [punches Jackie]

[as Jackie fights Daolon Wong] What in Sam Hill's nanny is going on here?!

Jackie

The animals have magic powers, and dark forces have come to claim them.

Magic? Well why didn't you just say so in the first place?

Jade

Jackie, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore!

Jackie

Jade, bring the pig this wa- [runs out the door, only to nearly fall out of the flying house] WAH! The house is flying?!

Jade

Hello? Did you not catch my Wizard of Oz reference?

There's no place like home... to kick your butt!

Jade

Whoa. Now I see why they call this place bizarre.

Jackie

Jade, it is a bazaar.

Jade

Anywhere grown men playing with baby toys is bizarre in my book.

Uncle is not playing. This rattle's filled with enchanted teeth of mongoose which will lead us to the snake which possesses the power of invisibility.

Do not even breathe. Cobras are very poisonous.

Jackie

[frozen in fear] I know...

Tohru, you did not tell Uncle you invited Spider-Woman! [Jackie, succumbing to the snake venom, groggily falls into Uncle's arms] See? Even Jackie moans with displeasure at her arrival.

Jade

Uh, Jackie? Are you alright? Jackie? [holds up fingers] How many fingers do you see?

Jackie

Uhhh... what's a Jackie?

[gasp] Jackie has been bitten by snake!

Jackie

[affixing cloth to his forehead] Y'arrr matey!

Jade

Stage two?

Stark-raving madness.

Jackie

Yo-ho-ho! [begins dancing]

Luckily stage two very brief.

[finding Jackie and Jade's unconscious bodies] Jackie! No sleeping! [cuffs Jackie to no response] No "Ow"?

Uncle! We're right here!

Hello? He can't see or hear you!

Then how will he know where we are?

[gasp] Daolon Wong now possesses the power of Astral Projection which he has inflicted upon Jackie and Jade and then applied a finishing spell so that they cannot return to their bodies!

... And you doubted him.

Jade

[in possession of Jackie's body] Uncle you rock! Now let's find Daolon Wong and kick some shriveled- Aah! [noticing her body] Why are there two of me?

Jackie

[in possession of Jade's body] Why is your voice coming out of my body?!

I told you Spell complicated...

Jackie

[in possession of Jade's body] There is only one way inside. [coming to a dead end, he tries to wall-jump up to a window, but his short stature holds him back] Eh, I forgot who I wasn't...

Jade

[in possession of Jackie's body] Trying to do this, Jackie? [wall jumps up to the window with ease] Cool, huh?

Jade is better at being you than you, Jackie.

Jackie

[in possession of Jade's body] Stay back, Jade!

Jade

[in possession of Jackie's body] Yes, Jade. Maybe you should stay back.

Jackie

[in possession of Jade's body] Uh... okay. But I am giving you permission to defend us this one time only.

Jade

[in possession of Jackie's body] I'm gonna do you proud!

Sir, you are in possession of Warren Oates Memorial High Football Team property! [Daolon Wong hisses at Chip] What school are you from?

Jackie

[speeding by on rollerblades; takes the rabbit] I will not bring it back later, thank you!

How many schools are trying to nab him?