Dark Chow quotes from Jackie Chan Adventures

Heat beams, sweet! [uses the Pig Talisman which shatters his glasses immediately] Hey! My glasses!

Jackie

The Dark Hand... will... never... have all... twelve! [turns to stone]

Jade

Jackie!

A dollar says his hand will snap right off!

Deal!

Seems like Chan's in a particularly bad mood today?

You mean the psycho? He caught my jacket.

[driving away from Jackie-Dark who moments ago creamed them in a fight] He'll never catch us.

Weren't we supposed to catch him?

Shut up!

And when the fish hit the road, you guys all went, "BWAH!"

You know Chan, you're all right!

Too bad we gotta eliminate you.

ELIMINATE ME?! [laughing hard]

Whoa, Shen-dude!

Uh, welcome to Earth?

Good to see ya up and around!

Valmont

Tohru, make this deadbeat puny up!

You go bro.

We're right behind you-

-in spirit.

Valmont

Twelve Talismans, four Enforcers, three each.

Uh, boss... there's only three of us since Tohru cashed in his frequent flyer miles.

So, I'll just hang on to these-

Hak Foo

Hungry crane spears fish!

Valmont

Everyone remembers Hak Foo?

[nervously] Heh, hiya Hak!

Or do you prefer Foo?

Valmont

Master Foo. The Black Tiger shall be your new lieutenant.

We must have left millions on that beach! What is the deal, Big-V?

[revealing himself in possession of Valmont's body] Valmont cannot hear you!

Uh-oh.

Shendu?

He's back...

Your Talismans, Mr. Shendu.

We was takin' care of 'em for ya. [chuckles nervously, as the Enforcers try to leave, with Shendu blocking their path]

Keep your Talismans, they no longer matter to me.

Wow...

Valmont

[confused] How did I- Where is the money?!

Uhh, Big-V? Shendu's back.

Valmont

What?! WHERE?!

Inside you!

Valmont

....Wha- That's preposterous- [walks past a mirror to see Shendu's reflection] AH! Get out!

Trust me, Valmont, the feeling is mutual. But for now, you and your thugs will assist me, or perish! [breathes fire from Valmont's mouth at the enforcers]

Got it!

We're swinging to your beat!

Tohru, buddy!

You're alive!

Good to see you. [grabs the enforcers and throws them against the wall]

Tohru's a traitor!

Valmont

I will put up with a lot, Shendu. But I draw the line at wearing a dress!

This is a sorcerer's robe!

[laughing] Shen-dudet! [bows]

Pretty dress.

Very becoming!

[annoyed] Where is my archive?

Uh, Chan's got it.

But it wasn't our fault!

Yeah, that's right! The Shadowkhan were there too!

The Shadowkhan are my puppets. They do only what I command! Are you suggesting that this is MY fault?!

Hak Foo

[in bandages] I am telling you, it was the Shadowkhan who did this to me!

[the rest of the Dark Hand are also in bandages] Chan kicked our butts too!

Yeah, you don't hear us lying about it.

Need I remind you, the Shadowkhan do only what I command? Come, minions!

...minions?

Valmont

It would seem you have lost your touch, Shendu.

I HAVE NOT LOST MY TOUCH!

Hak Foo

[as the Pan'ku Box reveals the next portal, out in Space] To find this portal, we must travel north. Very north.

Brrr...chilly.

Hak Foo

Very, very north.

Okay, check the warranty on the box! We're like halfway to the moon!

Where did you think Tso Lan, the Moon Demon, would be found?

Valmont

Good madame, free me of Shendu, I beg you. Look what he did to my head! [Bai Tza grabs him]

Bai Tza

My answer to you, and my sniveling brother remains...no! [drops him]

Ohh, nasty piranha!

Bai Tza

You!

Him? [indicating to Ratso, before he's grabbed] Heh, hey. You're a fish, I'm Finn! We're sympetico!

Bai Tza

DIrect me to a suitable new empire!

Uh, mi casa es su casa, your amphibiousness!

Bai Tza

A FISH cannery?!

I see your point. Well, there's lots of nice places here in San Fran. And it's all by the water.

Yeah! Great town!

Oh, except for the quakes.

Bai Tza

Earthquakes?

Uh, that's right. The San Andreas Fault runs right through downtown. Better idea, you should move to the East Coast!

Bai Tza

Very well, your San Fran shall be the cradle of my new undersea empire!

Uh, but isn't your new undersea empire supposed to be...you know...

Undersea?

Bai Tza

And so it shall be, once I sink this city!

Uh, can we be excused, Shendu?

Yeah, seeing as how we opened all the portals for you...

You don't need us to carry old Pan'ku anymore.

Never seeing any of you ever again would make me a very happy dragon.

Say "Bye bye" to Valmont! [enforcers begin to leave]

I hear Utah's nice this time of year!

Anywhere but here!

Valmont

Weren't you listening Shendu?! If we stay here, we will drown!

Not if we have gills!