Frank Reynolds quotes from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Frank

Hey, who gives a shit if gay people what to be miserable like everybody else and get married? Let 'em do it! It's no skin off my ass.

Frank

Yes, I was having an argument with Artemis, because a couple weeks before, we had some makeup sex in a dumpster out in the back of Wendy's. [Cuts to a dumpster shaking] [Frank grunting] Yeah! Yeah!

Frank

She incorporated a bun in the lovemaking. She took the--the...the dough and rolled it up into a ball, and then she...and we were going berserk. She loves that kind of stuff, and I-I...I admit I do, too.

Frank

You gotta do the lips funny!

Frank

Roxy, you are good shit and I want to make this legit. I'm still gonna pay you - but I want you to stop banging other guys. What do you say? You wanna be my wife or what?

Frank

Roxy, God Bless you. You were a good whore, you serviced me like no other whore ever did; not only my crank, but my heart - and I'm gonna miss you. AMEN.

Frank

I love eggs, Charlie. And I love crabs. And I love boiling denim and banging whores. And I don't care if anyone doesn't like that about me, they don't have to stick around.

Frank

Can I offer you a nice egg in this trying time?

Frank

We gotta write a song about how we do not diddle kids! (singing) "Do not diddle kids! It's no good diddling kids!"

Frank

You gotta write a song like:

Frank

[on video] So spread this video to all of your friends, because it's a computer virus. Take it from me. I am a doctor. Dr. Toboggan. Mantis Toboggan.

Frank

Deandra, your breath is dog shit.

Frank

If things go wrong, I'll blow this whistle and call the date before they have a chance to get to know us. Mm. Let's just keep it simple. Let's just start with our names. [cuts to the three at their date] Hey, ladies. I'm Frack. SHIT. [whistle blows]

Frank

But first allow me to destroy your gallery. Bullshit. Bullshit. Derivative. That I love. I absolutely love.

Frank

I want it. It's everything. I mean, look at us. We're just air conditioners. I mean, after all, we're just walking around on the planet, breathing, conditioning the air. I condition it hot, that conditions it cold. I mean, it's symbiotic, no?

Frank

I mean, we're just the air conditioners walking around on this planet, screwing each other's brains out.

Frank

[Phone buzzes] Oh, what's that? Pondy. Aha! "Let's party." Ha! Sorry, Pondy. Can't. [Phone buzzes] Old tits. He's saying I'm old. Goddamn it, Pondy's the coolest. L... O... M? Yeah, "M." Stupid phone! L... O... L. [horn honking] [horn honking, tires squealing, loud thudding] Ah, shit! Probably Asians.