It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia · Season 7, Episode 8
“The ANTI-Social Network” · Season 7, Episode 8
In this episode: Charlie Kelly (2), Dennis Reynolds (2), Mac McDonald (1), Frank Reynolds (1)
We have to blow the sign off of the building-- you know, maybe I'll do the blowing. That's fine.
Charlie, Charlie, stop, stop, stop, stop. Do you think a human being can blow a sign off of a building?
I didn't until Mac said it.
I never said that.
A man cannot blow a sign off of a building.
In Charlie's defense, you could loosen the screws, get up there and blow...
We are talking about the internet. You are derailing the conversation.
Mr. Reynolds, Mr. Kelly, I'm detective Larson. I'm gonna need to clear something up on your report here.
It doesn't...yeah, we're good.
It says here this was filed as an assault, but the only thing that you're claiming was that...this man shushed you?
Yeah, but...it was an assault.
Shushing somebody is not an assault.
There was more to it than...
He--yeah, it wasn't just shushing though.
Yeah!
And the reason it was an assault was because he was shushing our cries for help.
Right! This guy was raping us.
W--wha--?
He was raping you?
Well, yeah--yep.
The both of you?
No! No, no, no, no...
[snort] You can't rape two guys, it's the--
I wouldn't even necessarily classify it--
You know, what happened was that he only raped my friend here. I actually shook him off in time, the guy never quite made it inside of me, but my friend here...yeah.
So he was only raping you?
Yep.
Yeah, yeah. He, like, really kinda made soup of your insides.
No, no, no. He barely--he barely made it in there, so trust me, I'm fine.
Yeah, but he bit his dick.
Not--what?! No, he did--he--the reason we were going to file as a--a rape was because the--he did make it inside me, but like, just barely, and the guy was super-small, so I'm fine! And then I did get away. [Larson begins taking notes] Well, don't--don't write any of this down! Y--look, can we just drop the case?
Yeah! We don't need to--
Right? We just need the drawing.
I didn't even think about that, because if we had the drawing, we can find the guy. We can dole out the justice.
And then this never needs to go in any files, anywhere!
[on video] So spread this video to all of your friends, because it's a computer virus. Take it from me. I am a doctor. Dr. Toboggan. Mantis Toboggan.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
