“Mac Fights Gay Marriage” quotes from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Mac

Where's our bible?

Dee

Seriously..

Mac

Where is our God damn bible?!

Frank

This is a bar!

Mac

Guys! Guys! Guys! I'VE GOT NEWS! I've got HUGE news! So I went down to the gym this morning, right. I was all amped up, cuz' Charlie and I found found a bunch of nuts. I was SO full Protein. Okay. I went to get my pump on, but I couldn't get my pump on. Now, I know what you are thinking, clearly I did get my pump on but that's just because I did a bunch of push-ups outside also why I am out of breath.

Mac

Oh Oh Oh! Everybody up on their high horse of marriage all of the sudden. Marriage is about procreation okay. This is gay marriage! That's two dudes bangin each other! What do ya get from that? Nothin! Nothin!

Frank

What the shit are you talking about!?!?

Mac

Why are you jamming me up, bro?

I'm not trying to jam you up, I just don't believe you.

Mac

What is not to believe? I'm absolutely Dennis Reynolds.

This picture looks nothing like you.

Mac

Well, thank you, cause I've actually packed on about fifteen to twenty pounds of solid bulk muscle since that picture was taken. It's actually a testament to your gym.

So what you're sayin' is you gonna whup my black ass with a rod, and as long as I get up in a few days, we all good?

Mac

Oh! Oh! Oh! Everybody up on their high horse of marriage all of a sudden. Marriage is about procreation, okay? [Holds up two plugs] This is gay marriage! [Knocks them together] That's two dudes bangin' each other! What do ya get from that? Nothin'! Nothin'!

Dee

Uh, that's a persuasive argument. You should take your powerful "extension-cord" argument STRAIGHT to the Supreme Court.

Charlie

Mmm-hmm, they'll love it there.

Frank

Hey, who gives a shit if gay people what to be miserable like everybody else and get married? Let 'em do it! It's no skin off my ass.

Charlie

Oh my God. Did you smell her breath?

Frank

Like she was nibbling on little pieces of shit.