Almighty Tallest Purple quotes from Invader Zim

Welcome mighty Irken soldiers! You are the finest examples of military training the Irken army has to offer! Good for you. Standing behind us, however, are the soldiers we've chosen for roles in one of the most crucial parts in Operation Impending Doom II! [mockingly] You in the audience just get to sit and watch.

Tallest Purple

You should have tried harder!

Oh, and remember; LASERS!

Tallest Purple

[a laser hits his eye] AAAAH!!!

GIR

GIR, reporting for duty.

Zim

"GIR"? What does the G stand for?

GIR

[confused] I don't know! [pauses, then begins screaming and hitting himself]

Zim

Ummm, is it supposed to be stupid?

Tallest Purple

It's not stupid; [sarcastically] it's advanced!

See? Told you they'd love the lasers.

Tallest Purple

Everything is lasers with you. I'm telling you, smoke machines are what the people... [gets hit in the eye with a laser, and yells in pain]

Welcome mighty Irken soldiers! You are the finest examples of military training the Irken army has to offer! Good for you. Standing behind us, however, are the soldiers we've chosen for roles in one of the most crucial parts in Operation Impending Doom II! [mockingly] You in the audience just get to sit and watch.

Tallest Purple

You should have tried harder!

These superior ones…

Tallest Purple

[points at themselves] Not as superior as us, of course…

Pft, duh. These less superior than us but still quite superior soldiers will each be assigned to an enemy planet!

Tallest Purple

There, you will blend in with the hidious native inhabitants.

All the while gathering crucial information, assessing the planet's weaknesses, making it vulnerable to our big... spaceship... gang...

Tallest Purple

The armada. Now! LET THE ASSIGNING BEGIN!

WHOOO!

Tallest Purple

Step forward, Invader Larb.

Ahh, you seem to have grown since last you stood before us, soldier.

Tallest Purple

You've been assigned to the planet Blorch, home of the slaughtering rat people.

[beginning to Notice] Why would you draw that?

However, because of your increased height, we've decided to give you the planet Vort, home of the universe's most comfortable couch.

Yes!

Tallest Purple

Next… Invader Spleen!

Tallest Purple

And last… Invader Skoodge!

[looks at him] Oh now that's just sad.

Tallest Purple

Could you get any shorter?

[talking quickly] You'll be assigned to Blorch, home of the slaughtering rat people, thank you.

Zim

Sorry, I'm late, my tallest. I couldn't find my invitation. You're lucky I made it at all.

You weren't invited at all.

Tallest Purple

Weren't you banished to FoodCourtia? Shouldn't you be... frying something?

Zim

Oh, I quit when I found out about this.

Tallest Purple

You quit being banished!?!?!?

The assigning is over, Zim.

Zim

But you can't have an invasion without me! I was in Operation Impending Doom 1! Don't you remember?

Tallest Purple

Oh yes. We remember…

Zim

[in giant robot destroying a city] AH HA HA HA HA HA HA!

But sir, we're still on our own planet!

Zim

Silence! Twist those knobs! Twist those knobs! You! Pull some levers! Pull some levers! [resumes his maniacal laughter as his rampage continues]

Zim

I put the fires out.

You made them worse!

Zim

Worse… or better?

Zim

Sirs! I apologize for not reporting in, but-- excuse me.

Zim

...all is going well, nothing too big to report, aside to the usual- oh, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT ONE!!

Zim

The disinfectant, it's almost gone! All hope is lost if I don't find more! Clever! I won't give up! I'll destroy you! And you! And you! And yoooouuu!

Tallest Purple

Did that scare you too?

Zim

There were some glitches in the security system, but thanks to my masterful repair skills, they've all been eradicated. The fortress is now impenetrable, absolutely…

Almighty Tallest Purple

Um, who's that little person behind you?

Zim

What the…

There you are! What did I tell you about wandering off like that? Come on!

I missed you, mommy!

Almighty Tallest Purple

I'm glad it had a happy ending after all.

Me, too.

Zim

Ah, I'll call you back later.

Welcome planetary conversion team! Welcome to Blorch, the latest addition to the Irken Empire, and most importantly, the first planet to fall victim to our latest effort at universal conquest, Operation Impending Doom II!

Almighty Tallest rocks!

Now we erase the remaining organics on Blorch, paving the way for...I dunno, maybe a parking structure planet?

Tallest Purple

Yeah! Parking Structure Planet!

Zim

Mission accomplished, my Tallest! I have rid this solar system of Mars!

Tallest Purple

I thought you were trying to destroy the Earth.

Zim

Oh! Yes. That! You heard wrong! This time I was trying to get rid of Mars. You know, just a little warm up before I destroy the humans! Yeah, see, I'll do Earth next! I'm an unstoppable death machine, you know.

So, you're saying the humans are dumb, yet...tall. How is that even possible? How can anything tall be dumb?

Tallest Purple

[with his mouth full] Yeah, huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can you imagine, huh? Huh? Huh?

The Megadoomer Combat Stealth Mech!

Tallest Purple

I don't like it.

We didn't build it so you could like it. This one's going to Planet Meekrob to help Invader Tenn conquer it.

Tallest Purple

Well, I should like it.

Tallest Purple

Malfunctioning SIR Units! Hey! These things are dangerous! Anyone using these things could really get hurt! [pauses] Send them all to Zim.

[gasps] But they'll destroy him!

Tallest Purple

Ah, let's go eat food.

Almighty Tallest Purple

Plasma-Armed battle tanks, Maim-bots, death ray cannons, a sack of taquitos?

Zim

Just a few supplies I will need to complete my mission.

Gir

You get my taquitos yet?

Your exile... I mean, mission is to observe the planet, Zim. Not anhialate it.

Zim

Yes, but I'm quite good at ahnialating.

Gir

TAQUITOS! And a clown with no head.

Almighty Tallest Purple

Look. We'd love to grant your request, but we think you're insane. Uh, untrained.

Zim

Untrained!? Invader Zim!?

You're trained as an invader, Zim. Battle tanks are for hardened soldiers.

Zim

Hrm!

Almighty Tallest Purple

Hey! How about we send Zim to Hobo 13? It's the... um... finest military training planet ever. Zim! On Hobo 13, you'll be torn limb from limb!

Evaluated! Evaluated as a soldier! If you pass, we'll send you a BIG bag of battle tanks!

Almighty Tallest Purple

But not that clown thing.

Gir

HEADLESS CLOWN! HEADLESS CLOOOOOOOOOOWN!

Zim

[knocks GIR aside] Very well, my Tallest! To obtain my tanks, I will allow the evacuation of my incredible brain meats. Zim out!

Gir

How about clown taquitos? [Zim ends transmission]

As you can see, brave Invader Zim has begun his journey to the Fortress of Pain!

Almighty Tallest Purple

Anyone wanna bet that Zim gets blown up?

A thousand moneyz something eats him up!

Almighty Tallest Purple

All right. Anyone for chopped in half?

OOHH! I bet two thousand moneyz!