Mortos quotes from Invader Zim

[finishing his soda] Ah, Refreshing! Mortos grant wish now! [to Dib] What you want again? Hello?

Wee-hoo! I wish I had me some ice cream!

Your wish is granted!

Well whaddya know? [takes a lick] Ew, raisin.

Dib

Noooo!

Mortos so weak... I need to go return now...

Dib

Nooo! Mortos, you still owe me!

Maybe next time you not be so cheap with Mortos. See you in a thousand years!

Dib

Um, ancient traveler? Are you Mortos Der Soulstealer?

Huh? YES! I AM MORTOS DER SOULSTEALER! Every thousand years when Ta'un aligns with Chakunga, I escape from the place beneath the Overworld to walk among mortals for one day. Important plot point this is. Men hide behind furniture. Women spit loogies of terror. Animals void their bowels at the sight OF MORTOS DER SOULSTEALSER! [laughs maniacally until he starts coughing.]

Dib

[wipes away drool that landed on him] Okay, great!

Dib

Hold it! [takes out pamphlet] According to the ancient pamphlet, you must grant at least one mortal a wish before you can return to the spooky realm.

[snatches up pamphlet] Pamphlet stupid! [drops pamphlet on the ground, then stomps on it with his foot, then starts pounding it with his fist.] Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! [Stops pounding and then gets up again] Okay, but power's very weak from thousand year in place beneath the Overworld.

Dib

Well, how do we fix that?

Two quarter porkeys with cheese, one McGrease, no cheese, Meaty McMeatMeatMeat with cheese, and an Appely Pie with meat. [The food is served to Mortos, then Mortos scarfs it down.]

Dib

Mortos, is this really how you recharge your unearthly powers?

YES! SINCE BEFORE TIME BEGAAAAAAAAANNNNN! [Cashier starts gesturing, asking for money.] Mortos not carry cash.

Dib

Oh. [reaches into his pocket] Okay.

Dib

You ditched me!

Yes. Mortos ditch you. And Mortos sorry. But many years ago, Mortos trust little boy like you. Little boy named Floochie. Who sang songs to Mortos. That little boy break Mortos' heart... Now, dark energy of universe Mortos' only friend...

Dib

I'm sorry.

And Darlene here...

Hi!

Dib

Guh! I can't believe I almost bought that sob story! Mortos, you're no mighty master of spooky powers like the pamphlet said! You're just a... a big mooch!

You call Mortos mooch?

Dib

Yes, a mooch!

MOOCH!

Dib

That's right!

Mooch, mooch, mooch, mooch, mooch, MOOCH! You want see power? I show you power!