Ms. Bitters quotes from Invader Zim

Ms. Bitters

When you were my students, I said you'd amount to nothing. And I was right, you're NOTHING!

Ms. Bitters

Dib, you will not leave school grounds until all this mess is cleaned up. [Ms. Bitters hands Dib a tiny sponge]

Ms. Bitters

Take a good look children. It will prepare you for your adult lives in our nightmarish corporate system.

Ms. Bitters

Now, add the dead weight of students like you.

Ms. Bitters

So you can see, children, that our whole society is nothing more than a perilous house of cards...

Ms. Bitters

...destined to collapse under its own weight!

Ms. Bitters

Candidate 2, be quick! I can only survive so long in the sun.

Ms. Bitters

Don't forget that tonight is Parent Teacher Night. Everyone is required to bring their parents to the cafeteria.

Zim

I never agreed to attend this Parent Teacher Night!

Ms. Bitters

Yes, you did.

Zim

No! You lie! [makes wild scratching motions with his arms] YOU LIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Ms Bitters

[on video] Zim, are you going to bring your parents to Parent Teacher Night?

Zim

[on video, not paying attention] Yeah, sure, whatever.

Zim

Why would you tape that?

Ms. Bitters

Zim!

Zim

[saluting] Sir!

Ms. Bitters

There's a pigeon on your head. You've got head pigeons. Get to the nurse before they spread to the other children!

Zim

Yes, Ms. Bitters.

Ms. Bitters

No leaving class without a hall pass, Zim.

Zim

Of course...

Ms. Bitters

If you leave skool grounds, it will explode.

Dib

Ms Bitters, I think a pencil is lodged in my brain. Can I go to the nurse?

Ms. Bitters

How far in your brain?

Dib

[looks down] Pretty far...

Ms. Bitters

All right. Take the auxiliary hall pass. [points to a radiator with 'Hall Pass' spray-painted on the side]

Dib

What does identifying blotches have to do with determining our future careers?

Ms. Bitters

Oh, you poor doomed child.

Ms. Bitters

Zim, the machine says that the only career you are suitable for is-

Zim

Yes, yes! Lord of humans! I will rule you all with an iron fist!

Ms. Bitters

No, Zim. The machine has assigned you a career in fast food preparation.

Zim

Then I will prepare food with my iron fist! Then I will work my way up to ruling you all with my fist! [to Melvin] You! [shakes fist in Melvin's face] Obey the fist!

Dib

Can't I use that sponge?

Ms. Bitters

No.

Ms. Bitters

Yes, Dib?

Dib

Ms. Bitters, Zim's trip to the bathroom has taken a really long time.

Ms. Bitters

I seem to remember you taking an awful long time to go to the bathroom as well, Dib.

Dib

[pathetically] But that was "Corn and Mayonnaise" day!

Ms. Bitters

[harshly] Oh, that's no excuse!!!

Ms. Bitters

Now open up your textbook and begin memorizing the copyright information. You will be quizzed on this.

Zim

Ms. Bitters, I have a [yells] MIGHTY NEED... to use the restroom once again.

Ms. Bitters

Okay, but that's your last bathroom break for the rest of the school year.

Ms. Bitters

Yes, Dib?

Dib

Ms. Bitters, Zim's trip to the restroom has lasted a real long time.

Ms. Bitters

I recall you spending quite a long time in there recently, as well.

Dib

[pathetically] That was "Corn and Mayonnaise" day!

Ms. Bitters

[harshly] Oh, that's no excuse.

Dib

He's up to something. I just know it. Ms. Bitters growls

Dib

Sorry... I'm late... horrible... nightmare visions...

Ms. Bitters

It's called life, Dib. Sit down!