GIR quotes from Invader Zim

Hey, Man. It's Been 4 weeks since you rented Intestines of War. It's 20 Days overdue. Hello? Hell-lo?!?

GIR

Who is it?(Hangs up)

Zim

[in a mocking voice] I gunna watch it again.

GIR

...I GUNNA WATCH IT AGAIN!!!

Zim

This is the hundredth time, GIR. You have to stop watching this thing or... OH, WHAT IS THAT? [points to TV]A warning? Oh no! Oh no! FBI? Who is this FBI? Why are they trying to warn us about?

GIR

SHHH!

Zim

(screaming)

My people worked themselves into extinction making our planet a working vessel!

Zim

Why would you do that?

Because it's cool.

GIR

*nods* Mmm-hmm.

GIR

[gasps] It's got chicken legs!

Zim

Yes...chicken legs. It also possesses a new generation distortion cloaking system. You know what that means?

GIR

Oooh... [flips out then stops]

Zim

That means it turns invisible!

GIR

I had no idea.

GIR

CHICKEN! [giggles] I'm gonna eat you!

Dib

Wow! [starts taking pictures of the Megadoomer] Crop Circle Magazine is gonna put me on the front cover for sure! Someone take a picture of me with it. [pauses, then hands the camera to GIR, who begins taking multiple pictures of Dib]

GIR

Aww you. You look so cute.

The great thing about your people, Dib, is that most of them don't notice. All they see is another faceless corporate venture, not a plan for world conquest!

Dib

Wait. Is there really a difference?

Zim

It's over, Tak! The earth is mine to devastate! And I've already promised the moon to GIR.

Dib

Zim! How did you know we'd be here?

Zim

I placed a tracking device on you!

Dib

Tracking device? Where?

GIR

Your head smells like a puppy!

Zim

I'm the only one here with the technology to decode the files!

Dib

And we're the only ones here with the files to be decoded!

GIR

And I'M... he he he. I dunno.

Dib

Your base, our disc, Zim.

Zim

As soon as we destroy Tak, I'm gonna feed your brains to my robot!

Dib

Deal!

GIR

Yay! Brains!

Zim

Once I have tainted the human's meat supply with filth, the planet will be ripe for the taking. Soon the name of Invader Zim will be synonymous with... DOOKIE! GIR! Bring me cows.

GIR

[in duty mode] Yes sir! [out of duty mode] I like dookie!

Zim

[voiceover] Sometimes I'm scared to think of what goes on in that insane head of yours...

[in GIR's mind] Dance with us, GIR! Dance with us into oblivion!

Zim

GIR! What have you done? This isn't information retrieval! Are you insane?!

GIR

[in duty mode] I have captured the enemy for meat testing. Praise me! Praise meeeee!!

GIR

[in duty mode] The knowledge, it fills me. It is neat.

Zim

GIR! You've drained enough humans today!

GIR

[in duty mode] Data canister is not yet full!

Zim

I command you to get out of here before we're noticed...some more.

GIR

[out of duty mode] Hi Floor, make me a sammich!

Zim

That's better, I guess...

GIR

Heh, heh, sammich, sammich!

I want to thank you. That was quite an adventure. The car wreck, the library fight and then, the galactic space battle that happened on the way to this beach.

Zim

Yes, yes, very nice. Now into the ocean with you, where you can tell no one of these things.

I'm coming home! [Runs into the water]

GIR

Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! [Happily to Zim] ...he's getting eaten by a shark.

Zim

It's been nice working with you GIR, now self destruct.

GIR

Finally! [cackles, explodes]

GIR

A little to the left, okay? Step forward, okay? Look out for the monkey.

Zim

Got it, okay. How am I doing? Okay monkey, got it, okay.

GIR

Okay? Look out for the other monkey, okay?

Zim

Okay, got it. Oh no, oh no, oh no ah aha ahaaah ahahaha! [crashing noise]

GIR

Okay?

Zim

Okay. LOOK OUT!

But seriously Zim if you just speed up the explosion-

Zim

I don't pay you to contradict me!

You don't... pay me at all...

GIR

[being used as a catapult for an accelerator to speed up the explosion] But if the big 'splodey goes fast, won't it get all bad?

Almighty Tallest Purple

Plasma-Armed battle tanks, Maim-bots, death ray cannons, a sack of taquitos?

Zim

Just a few supplies I will need to complete my mission.

Gir

You get my taquitos yet?

Your exile... I mean, mission is to observe the planet, Zim. Not anhialate it.

Zim

Yes, but I'm quite good at ahnialating.

Gir

TAQUITOS! And a clown with no head.

Almighty Tallest Purple

Look. We'd love to grant your request, but we think you're insane. Uh, untrained.

Zim

Untrained!? Invader Zim!?

You're trained as an invader, Zim. Battle tanks are for hardened soldiers.

Zim

Hrm!

Almighty Tallest Purple

Hey! How about we send Zim to Hobo 13? It's the... um... finest military training planet ever. Zim! On Hobo 13, you'll be torn limb from limb!

Evaluated! Evaluated as a soldier! If you pass, we'll send you a BIG bag of battle tanks!

Almighty Tallest Purple

But not that clown thing.

Gir

HEADLESS CLOWN! HEADLESS CLOOOOOOOOOOWN!

Zim

[knocks GIR aside] Very well, my Tallest! To obtain my tanks, I will allow the evacuation of my incredible brain meats. Zim out!

Gir

How about clown taquitos? [Zim ends transmission]