Invader Zim · Season 1, Episode 14
“Door to Door” · Season 1, Episode 14
In this episode: Zim (7), GIR (4), Video Store Clerk (4), Ms. Bitters (3)
[In the classroom a student is held in mid air by a harness and is stacking cards in a tower]
Now, add the dead weight of students like you.
[The child adds a huge stack of cards to the tower. It sways dangerously]
So you can see, children, that our whole society is nothing more than a perilous house of cards...
[The tower collapses into a heap]
...destined to collapse under its own weight!
Why iiisss his head so big? Whyyy's his head so biiig?
[Zim watching buyer choke violently on the candy bar]
Uh-huh, that's the sawdust.
YAY, I'M GONNA BE SICK! [throws up on Zim]
Who are you?!?
I am-
Who are you?!?
I am-
Who are you?!?
I am Poop Dog!
Pweeeease? For the childwen!
[voice only] We'll buy your candy! We'll buy your candy!
Children, your performance was miserable. Your parents will all receive phone calls instructing them to love you less now.
Awww...
(slurping)
Aah!My intestine!
Tee-He He He He He-e!
(phone rings)
Hey, Man. It's Been 4 weeks since you rented Intestines of War. It's 20 Days overdue. Hello? Hell-lo?!?
Who is it?(Hangs up)
[in a mocking voice] I gunna watch it again.
[long pause]
...I GUNNA WATCH IT AGAIN!!!
This is the hundredth time, GIR. You have to stop watching this thing or... OH, WHAT IS THAT? [points to TV]A warning? Oh no! Oh no! FBI? Who is this FBI? Why are they trying to warn us about?
SHHH!
(screaming)
(phone rings)
Return that movie!
You got any them taquitos?(hangs up)
Computer! Give me all the information you have on the FBI.
The FBI is a government law enforcement agency.
Continue.
Insufficient data.
Insufficient data! Can't you just make an educated guess?
Okaaaaaay...uh...founded in 1492 by, uh...demons, the FBI is a crack law enforcement agency designed to...uh, I dunno, fight...aliens?
I knew it! This is baaaad! This is so baaaad!
GIR! That movie is some kind of government spying tool! Quickly! Eat it!
[The phone rings.]
Hello?(with voice a little deep)Hello?(with voice getting deep)Hello?[with his voice synthetically deeper]Good,OK.Hello,How I may help you today?
I'm through playin' around! You better return that video or else! This is your final warning!
I'm sorry, I do not know what you are talking about. I am normal.
If that thing isn't in the drop-off box by the time we open tomorrow, you're gonna paaaaaayyyyy... late fees.
Ooh!I wanna rent this one!
Why?!? So you can keep it for weeks and weeks and not return it? What about all the other people that wanna watch it?!? You ever think about them? Huh? HUH?!?
[Doot begins to cry]
He caught me sleeping during my shift. When you break the rules, Rankle sends you here. Every couple a days, he takes someone away. They never come back. Some say he just lets 'em go. Me? I say he takes them and turn 'em into horrible zombie soldiers in that new zombie lab they just put in out back.
Oh, it's not that simple my friend... Slab Rankle is not that easy to pull it over in defeat! Because Slab...and Rankle and, and Slab and... TIME FOR ZOMBIES!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Invader Zim pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
