[As Gibby, who is sitting on a chair, puts on his sock, Carly picks up a bean bag chair and throws it aside. She picks up two water bottles.]
Um– [Points on his foot] –is it weird if a guy grows hair between his toes?
Freddie[Runs in] Carly! Did you see Sam's email?
Freddie
She's in jail!
[Gibby stands up.]
Freddie
[Shows Carly something on his phone] She was at the jiffy mart, buying a snack, and a guy cut in front of her. So she shoved a hot chili dog down his pants, and it turns out the guy was an ambassador from Mexico.
[Groans angrily] Sam! So then what happened?
Freddie
He yelled– [Speaks in Spanish] "Los frijoles calientes quema mis pantalones! Ohhhhh!"
Freddie
[Speaks in English] Oh. Uh, the cops showed up and took her down to juvie.
[Carly groans angrily.]
Freddie
Her mom's on her way there, but Sam says there's no way she's getting out till tomorrow.
So you're canceling iCarly?
Freddie
Well, I don't see how we're gonna be able to do the show–
No, we're not canceling iCarly. We've never canceled the show, and my dad's watching it live tonight for the first time.
[Confused] I thought Spencer was your dad.
Freddie
Well, how are we gonna do the show without Sam?
[As Carly and Freddie run out of the studio, Gibby picks up scissors, sits down on the chair, and takes off his sock.]
Normal, here I come. [Starts cutting hair between his toes]
(talking very fast) Freddie says "In 5, 4, 3, 2…", then points at us, then we introduce the show. Then after that we go to that wheel over there and do a bit called "Put that in your man purse", which you don't know about but just play along and you'll figure it out as we go.
Why doesn't Freddie say "in five, four, three, two, one"?
Freddie
I know.
No one cares! Now hurry, take your jacket and glasses off!
But I look so sophisticated.
This is iCarly! We don't do sophisticated! (slaps Spencer lightly)
[Spencer runs out of the studio. He passes by Gibby, who is buttoning his new shirt while walking into the studio.]
Okay, after the wet hair thing, play a couple more clips while I set up for "Hey, what am I licking?"
Freddie
'Kay.
Who's gonna be the licker?
CCandace
What is going on here?!
Uh-oh! Baby was worried This would happen!
[own voice] Could you give me Like five minutes And I'll be right down?
CCandace
I've been waiting almost a half-hour down there, by myself! And what is all this anyway?
It's a live web show, and we refuse To break character!
Who is this woman?! Off with her head!
Freddie
If her head does come off, might I please eat it?
*pulls off Dr. Van Gurbin's Bigfoot mask*
Freddie
Well, this is a Scooby Doo moment.
VGDr. Van Gurbin
I'm so sorry. See, my book wasn't selling well, and my dad always told me I would be a failure.
Freddie
So you dressed up like Bigfoot just to create hype?
VGDr. Van Gurbin
Yes. So people would buy my new book. [takes out his book] Bigfoot.
[Sam smacks the book out off his hands]
VGDr. Van Gurbin
I had that coming.
(The firefighters put out the fire that destroyed Carly's room)
Well... It could be worse.
CDChief Donker
No, It couldn't. I'm Chief Donker. Seattle Fire Department.
(holds out his hand) Spencer Shay.
CDChief Donker
Yeah. We know who you are.
Hey, come here, kid. (Carly breaks down into tears and she and Sam hug each other after her room got destroyed) It's okay, Carls. If you want, you can stay with me and my mom. (Carly keeps crying louder and harder)
Freddie
Do you guys know how the fire started?
CDChief Donker
Oh, yes. (he holds up the gummy bear lamp) This bedside table lamp started the fire.
(Spencer gets shocked)
But I don't have a table lamp.
(Everyone gets looks at Spencer in shock)
Look... Spencer wanted to make you a special present for your birthday...
Freddie
So... He made you a gummy bear lamp...
(depressed) Carly, I'm... Hey, I bet what that goat did to you last year doesn't seem so bad anymore. (Carly cries again and hugs Sam again)
CDChief Donker
(to Freddie and confused) ...What did the goat do?
Freddie
You got your room back.
Except for all your old photos and other personal items that can never be replaced.
SSSam, Spencer and Freddie
GIBBY!!
(to Spencer) Who has the best big brother ever?
You... (they hug, then face the others)
Man. Is there anything money can't do?
How long did the doctor say you have to wear that cast?
Well, it's your own fault. You jumped off that pipe for nothin'.
You said my cue was Gibby and I heard Gibby.
Yeah, but you didn't hear the cue!
Freddie
Guys-okay, yes, the cue was Gibby. [the 4 start yelling at each other quickly]
You guys? [they continue yelling] YOU GUYS!
Freddie
[very angry] WHAT, T-BO?!
You guys gotta do something about Spencer, the boy's gone too far.
He gave me the fancy face cream from Europe. It says "It make your face all smooth.".
Well, my face is already smooth. So I gave it to my friend Lucas here. His face has dry patches.
Kevin, kill the lights! [Kevin turns the lights off as Lucas's face glows in the dark]
Whoa! [the 4 are shocked]
Turn 'em back on! [Kevin turns the lights back on as Lucas's glow face goes off] Glow in the dark face cream?! What kinda sick man thinks that's funny?!
Tell that to Lucas! Now he can't go see a movie! You all better do something about Spencer.
iCarly · 611 quotes
