No. No unless. No e-mails, no phone numbers, not even names. Tonight, we'll make a memory that will never be tarnished. Then, when we're old and gray, we'll look back on this moment... and it'll be perfect.
OK, it involves a game of "Truth or Dare", a squeeze bottle of marshmallow ice cream topping, and the hot tub at my grandparent's retirement community.
FTFuture Ted
Kids, I tell you a lot of inappropriate stories, but there's no way in hell I'm telling you this one. Don't worry, it wasn't that great.
[Lily is freaking out because a New Jersey high school that has The 88 for a prom band wouldn't let them in. She thinks Barney's ideas of sneaking in may the only way to see the band.]
Ted
You're getting on board with Barney's idea. Man, you really have snapped!
There are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it is a mistake is to make that mistake and look back and say, "Yup, that was a mistake". So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake because then you'll go your whole life not really knowing if something is a mistake or not. And damn it, I made no mistakes. I've done all of this: my life, my relationship, my career mistakes-free. Does any of this make sense to you?
Penelope, I really need to make it rain this weekend.
PPenelope
Why?
Ted
There's this girl-
PPenelope
Oh, there's this girl! You know the traditional rain dance is a sacred prayer to nature. I don't think the great spirit looks too kindly on white dudes who co-opt it to get laid.
Ted
But this is the girl I love! If it doesn't rain this weekend, she's gonna end up with the wrong guy!
Marshall, I'm sorry. I just, I just need to go to San Francisco and do this art program and-and figure out who I am outside of us, and the only way I can do that is if...if we don't talk for a while.
For a while. Try never, okay? You walk out of that door, and we're done. You're never going to hear my voice again! [segue to Marshall talking to Ted] I should call her.
Ted
No, no, if you call her when she asks you not to, you're just gonna look weak and you're gonna regret it. Whenever you feel like calling her, you come find me first... and I will punch you in the face.
Dude, lots of chicks think that architects are hot. Think about that, you create something out of nothing. You're like God. There is no one hotter than God.
How I Met Your Mother · 439 quotes
Ted
