Robert E. Hogan quotes from Hogan's Heroes

Hogan

If the Germans can have an American prisoner, why can't the American prisoners have a German prisoner? If we're wrong, what are they gonna do, lock us up?

Hogan

And you know how tough the Germans are. Just look at the way Hitler treats Mussolini.

Colonel Hogan

Put your fingers in your ears.

Hogan

Any questions? [Nearly every POW in the room raises his hand.] Glad it's all clear.

Hogan

Carter, I don't know what I'd do without you. But sometimes I'd like to try.

Hogan

Come on, Colonel! If the High Command's so smart, what're they doin' on the Russian Front?

Colonel Hogan

The Blue Baron is leaving.

Col. Robert E. Hogan

What good are enemies if you can't depend on 'em?

Colonel Hogan

Why not? We don't have to be enemies just because we're... enemies!

Schultz

(After Hogan revealing Newkirk in a Gestapo uniform)What a relief, if the Gestapo...Colonel Hogan...what is he doing in a uniform! Colonel Hogan please, oohhh you went to far. I must report this, it would be worth my life if I do not report this.

Col. Robert E. Hogan

It's only until tomorrow, then he's gonna take it off again.

Schultz

Aahhh.

Col. Robert E. Hogan

After he steals the tank.

Schultz

Ohh...

Col. Robert E. Hogan

From the Panzer division.

Schultz

Oohhh...

Col. Robert E. Hogan

And brings it here into the barracks.

Schultz

Oh I see nothing. I was not here. I did not even get up this morning!

Schultz

Eine, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs, sieben...acht...neun...zehn...

Col. Robert E. Hogan

Elf is next, eleven, Schultz.

Schultz

I know how to count.

Col. Robert E. Hogan

So do many of the young guards, I think it's how they're taught.

Cpl. Peter Newkirk

Steal a German tank?!

Col. Robert E. Hogan

We'll give it back... after we take it apart and make blueprints of it.

Well, how do we get ahold of it?

Cpl. Louis LeBeau

How do we get it in here?

Cpl. Peter Newkirk

Where are we going to hide a tank?

Sgt. Andrew Carter

Where do we take it apart?

Col. Robert E. Hogan

Look, I got the idea of stealing it, right? The rest is detail.

Klink

You said "aimed at England," yeah?

Hogan

Mm-hmm

Klink

For your information, half of the airfield of Hamburg is missing, destroyed! I must see Major Hauser at once. Maybe he has a better lie than yours. [grabs his hat and storms out of the room]

Hogan

Another day, another rocket.

Schultz

So, England, they made a big hole in Hamburg. [clicks tongue] Naughty naughty.

Hogan

What could I do, Schultz? My aim is terrible when I'm in a hurry. [feeds him a grape]

Klink

I am well aware, Colonel Hogan, there is nothing you and your men would not do to try to undermine my position, even to have me replaced.

Hogan

Replace you, are you kidding? We'd do anything to keep you here.

Klink

Schultz! Where is that radio?

Schultz

They didn't tell me!

Klink

Find it at once!

Schultz

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

Klink

[as the Schultz and the other guards search] Hogan! Where does that voice come from?

Hogan

From the accent, I'd say England.