Backscheider quotes from Hogan's Heroes ... TV Quotes Database

Backscheider

You will consider yourself under arrest.

Champagne?

Backscheider

I will question you here. If your answers are not satisfactory, you will be taken to where the atmosphere is more conductible to getting at the truth.

Hogan

That sounds fair.

Backscheider

I am not concerned with being fair. Muller, Sonntag.

[Backscheider's men begin to search the hotel room]

S2 E10 A Tiger Hunt In Paris, Part 1

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Hogan

Are you sure you won't have some champagne?

Backscheider

Research done by the Third Reich shows that champagne shrivels the Achilles tendons.

Hogan

Really?

Backscheider

The French foot soldier was only able to march seven-tenths of a mile... before collapsing.

Hogan

Poor devils.

Backscheider

I think it has attacked your brain. You are obviously an American, yet you openly rent a large suite in the best hotel in Paris, in the middle of a war... almost inviting a call from the Gestapo!

Hogan

You were very prompt. My congratulations.

Backscheider

[Puzzled] You wanted a call from the Gestapo?

[Hogan has convinced Backscheider he is actually Sgt. Frank Derkin, an escaped POW-turned-black market dealer; they are talking in Backscheider's office]

S2 E10 A Tiger Hunt In Paris, Part 1

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Hogan

Look... I was able to get a good deal on some caviar. I could arrange to cut you in if you could help transport it to Paris.

Backscheider

Every inch of carloading is needed for the German war effort!

Hogan

You were in for fifty percent.

Backscheider

[Surprised] I will see what I can do.

S2 E10 A Tiger Hunt In Paris, Part 1

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[Backscheider, distrustful of 'Derkin', has bugged the hotel room phone]

Hogan

Derkin here.

Newkirk

[As Himmler] My dear Derkin! This is Heinrich Himmler, how are you?

[In another room, the Gestapo men stiffen in fear; as Reichsführer-SS, Himmler was one of the most feared men in Nazi Germany]

Hogan

Oh, fine, just fine. You enjoyed the caviar? Oh, I'm glad. Hey, I was able to get a special deal for you- about three tons. Ah, we can talk about that when you get here.

Newkirk

Yes... I will be arriving tomorrow morning, about 10. By fighter plane. Don't trust my pilot. Ja, there has been too many 'accidents' on our transports.

Hogan

Inhuman! I'll meet you at the airport, about 10. Oh, and, uh, about Colonel Backscheider...

Newkirk

What about him?

Hogan

Oh, I put my foot in it. I mentioned you were coming to Paris, but I didn't tell him when.

Newkirk

Tell him nothing! If he has one single ounce of brains- which I doubt- he will find out that I'm coming in. Und be at the airport with his entire staff lined up in review. And if not- eh! One more bungler down the well.

Hogan

Oh, I'm really sure he'll be there. I'll meet you at the airport tomorrow. Oh, and thanks for the call, Heinrich.

[In another room, Backscheider puts down the listening device's headphones]

Backscheider

He called him Heinrich!

S2 E11 A Tiger Hunt In Paris, Part 2

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