Gordon quotes from Hell's Kitchen

(calls the Blue team) All of you, come here! Taste that. I want you to taste that scrambled egg! Taste it!

Some seasoning, guys! Little salt and pepper!

Who made that?

I did, chef. I put salt and pepper in chef.

You-- [throws his spoon away on the workstation] I mean, SERIOUSLY?! THEY'RE PARAMEDICS!

I got them, chef.

I think you need a doctor right now! [knocks his hand on the workstation]

Two more salmon coming right up.

Hey, Blue team!

(to the Blue team) Chef, pay attention!

On order, four covers Table 23! (finds that the ticket was badly written) I mean, fuck me. (shows the ticket to the Blue team) Hey, look at the way he wrote that ticket. Look at how badly that's written out! Barret!

What happened?

Rewrite the ti-- Where's Jean-Philippe? Jean-Philippe, what is that?

Come on.

Oh, fuck off! (tears up the ticket) Hey JP, take him (Barret) and yourself back to fucking Belgium!

Thanks!

Fuck right off! Fuck off!

It's undercooked, the rice. Wow, fuck me. (returns to the workstation) Hey, the rice is undercooked! The rice is undercooked!

That's not ready yet, guys.

Start again!

Yes, chef.

Come on! (to Jessica at the pass) What are you waiting on?

[Table] 34, chef.

Yeah, fuck-- come in here. Come in here! [Jessica enters the Red kitchen] How long have you been waiting?

20-30 minutes chef.

Yeah, you've been actually waiting 32 minutes. Tell your fucking team!

(to the Red team) Let's go, guys! Table 34!

Why are you laughing?

I'm not. I'm sorry, chef. [Gordon throws his spoon away on the workstation]

(to the Red team) Hey, all of you stop! Come here, fucking all of you! (to Jessica) You think this is a joke.

No, chef. I don't.

(to the Red team) We're dying for Table 34's fucking appetizers (to Jessica) and you're coming in to laugh at (points to Susan) her. What's funny?

Nothing, chef.

Do you want to go?

No, chef. I don't.

Can you tell your team to hurry up?

(to the Red team) Let's go, team!

I'm ready!

(to Jessica) Hey, it's sounds so funny, isn't it?

No, chef.

While Nedra begs forgiveness in the dining room, back in the Blue kitchen,

Where is the fucking halibut?!

Coming up chef.

Come on, guys! Push it!

(to Ray) Let's go, come on. Get those up.

Ray hurries to deliver his third attempt at the same order of fish.

WHERE IS IT?

(to Dan) Bring that up.

Got it right here, chef. [brings Ray's halibut to the pass]

Come on, come on. Go with that, good job.

Please be cooked. For the love of God, be cooked.

[checks Ray's halibut] Wellington's beautifully cooked, pork's beautifully cooked.

Thank you, chef.

But I have a problem. [returns to the workstation] I have a big fucking problem—YES, I DO!! [angrily knocks his hand on the workstation] MERDE!

Fuck me!

THIS IS RAW!

Oh, my God!

Oh, fuck me!

THIS IS RAW!

(interview) Not again! Dammit, this can't be happening! (to Ray) Come on, Ray!

IT'S JUST RAW! [angrily knocks his hand on the workstation]

(to Ray) Get three more going. Get three more going. Put them in the oven.

IT'S FUCKED!

(interview) We're going down in flames! Titanic ain't got SHIT on us!

I'M DONE! (points to every member of the Blue team) You, you, you, you, you, you, GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

(interview) I was doing good, dammit.

Did I not say that we're done? I will let you fucking know when you fucking keep leaving in it. (interview) Dan, just leave it alone. I had it fucking perfect.

(Storms into the blue team's dorm with raw halibut) Hey, where are you guys?

Right here, Chef.

I spent 18 hours with you guys today, I give you everything I got, and that's the bullshit you're going to give me in front of Chef Ramsay? Make me look like a dickhead in front of a dining room full of people! I'm beside myself right now with that! I can't look at you guys anymore.

That's raw. (returns to the workstation and throws his spoon away; shows the raw pork to the Red team)

Oh, my fucking God!

COME HERE, ALL OF YOU!

God.

Yeah, kept me waiting 28 minutes for raw pork. (points to every member of the Red team) You, you, you, you, you, you, you, (slams the tray on the workstation) GET OUT! DISASTER! GET OUT!

All four of you are now on probation. Go, back in line!

Thank you Chef.

Thank you Chef.

Don't thank me yet, and here's why: Each and every one of you, will have to earn your jacket back by the end of the next dinner service, and if you don't: (Gordon makes a swipe motion with his hand past his neck, resembling a slit throat) you're history! Piss off!

All of you, come here.

(interview) Fuck!

(points to a table of senior women) See those six glamourous ladies, slightly older? Yeah. And look.

Oh.

Oh, my God!

(gets a parchment paper from a halibut) The paper.

(to Barret) You left the parchment on there, man?

(interview) What, you trying to kill people? By the time you swallow it, it's too late. You're on the floor with Jean-Philippe doing CPR on you. [scoffs] Who the fuck want that?

(quietly to Barret) Hey, come here you. It's not a fucking joke. You should be ashamed.

I am. I am ashamed. (interview) Tonight of all nights, I'm just praying that we didn't lose the dinner service.

Paper to a senior! [crosses to the Red kitchen out of disgust]

While Barret starts over on the fish, in the Red kitchen, the women are very excited.

Our last ticket!

To be closing in on the finish line.

We got this!

Hey!

Yes, chef?

Shut the fuck up! High-fiving each other, last ticket, it's the same fucking ticket!

Oh, Jesus. They're rubber. Scallops are overcooked! Rubber, look at that one. Just touch that one there. Just touch it there! Come on, get me some more in there!

Yes, chef!

You've got the easiest appetiser!

Yes, chef. (interview) Fuck me!

Hey, fuck you!

Yes, chef.

Okay? (returns a tray of appetizers to the workstation) Hey, fuck you all! Cold pizza, cold fish and chips, refire urgently!

That's burned. (returns to the workstation) Fuck you all! [knocks the workstation] Damn! Come here, all of you! Come on! Hey look, there's no garnish around there and that's the biggest bit. Look at that there.

Fuck me!

(raises the pizza and drops it) For kids, and kids, fucking kids!

(interview) Dan is like a monkey wrench in a machine. You're killing me, man!

Start again and get it together!

Yes, chef!

Stone-cold. Hey, all of you. (points to Ray) You first, fuck-wit! Come here!

Oh, fuck! (interview) No, this can't be happening.

Just touch that. Just touch the burger.

Oh, it's fucked, chef.

[angrily throws the burger on the workstation] Whose table is that?

(interview) A cold cheeseburger. How the hell does something like that happen?!

That's my family.

(interview) He just brought a perfect storm our way. Thanks, dude.

At this stage of the game, I don't expect the "I'm sorry!" IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH! [knocks his hand on the workstation] IT'S FUCKED!!

I have another one chef.

(interview) Get it together, man. A cold burger?

(to Ray) Hey, you have the audacity to send that to my son! I wouldn't do that to your family!

Totally my fault, chef.

I've got raw chicken here.

And it's for my wife.

[returns the chicken to the workstation] HEY! For Chef James's wife, pink chicken.

(interview) Raw fish, people can survive it. Under-cooked meat, cook it more it's like not going to kill you, but fucking raw chicken will fucking kill you.

Chef James's wife is pregnant.

Oh, my gosh.

(interview) I can't even look at Chef James in the eyes. He's like a freaking triple black belt in Taekwondo. This dude will probably fuck me up right now.

My family and James's family. Red Team, take over! Let's go! Move!

Yes, chef!

Hey, pedicure, manicure! How long?

I am waiting for Susan!

No, you fucked you! She's (Susan) slicing the prime rib! And you just stopped the whole fucking kitchen. (calls the Red team to the pass) All of you! (calls Susan in the dining room) SUSAN!

Yes, chef?

COME HERE, YOU!

(interview) I know everyone keeps saying, "Jacqueline is an amazing chef, she's so strong." (to Gordon) Yes, chef?

You just stopped sending entrées, (to Susan) did you tell her (Jacqueline) to stop?

No.

Oh, really?!

(interview) But if you can't perform with the lights turned on, then it's worthless.

We are now stopped being serving meat that we're dying for. (to Jacqueline) Have you heard of anything so fucking stupid?!

No.

The less you give me your best, go home! OVER!

Yes, chef.

Get it together. Have a little meeting.

I know what table is next. If I need to rush, I could rush.

Okay.

HURRY UP!!

Yes, chef!

Let's go, guys.

They're fucking raw. Fuck off. (to the Blue team) Hey, raw New York!

Oh, fuck me. (interview) Oh, my God. He just can't catch a break.

(to Ray) Come here, you. Just fucking come here! Who cooked it?

I---.

ANSWER!!!

I did, chef. I cooked it. I'll take it. I did, chef.

This is where it goes so fucking badly! It's not even red in there!

I understand, chef.

Two of you on the section! [knocks his hand on the workstation] Do you have any fight left?!

Michael, make another one!

I'm going to cook. I'm going to cook.

(interview) Ray, Michael. Pull your heads out of your asses and cook the fucking meat!

Here, I got the fucking New York strip, okay?

I got it on.

Don't rush the steaks.

(interview) Ray, please stop talking. Let me fucking cook the meat. I got it.

How long for that New York strip?

Three and a half, chef.

Oh, fuck! Take the table back. Oh, fuck me. (gives the tray of entrées to Ray) Ray, hey. Fuck off. Take that. Take it. A fucking joke!

Raw, raw, fucking raw. [returns to the workstation] Oh, fucking hell!

Fuck my life!

Raw filet! The easiest to cook, the most glamourous, the most in demand, cold and raw!

(interview) Jacqueline says it's good, I trusted her, and they're raw.

Raw in the middle! Hey, Amanda! It's not sushi night, it's steak night!

Yes, chef!