Gordon quotes from Hell's Kitchen

It's raw now. Now they're taking the piss. (returns to the workstation and repeatedly knocks it) What is it for the second fucking time?!

It's fucking raw, chef.

That's right! It's fucking raw!! (throws a filet on the workstation)

I have two more in the oven.

(points to Amanda, Jacqueline, Nedra and Cyndi) You, you, you, you! FUCK OFF, ALL FOUR OF YOU! GET OUT! GET OUT!!

You are kidding me, ice cold! HEY! ALL OF YOU COME HERE, HURRY UP! [returns the tuna at the workstation; then knocks twice on the counter] JUST TOUCH THAT! TOUCH THAT YOUR FINGERS.

Stone-cold.

IT'S SAYING ICE COLD!

Fuck!

Something is so easy! WHO SEARED IT?

Nedra seared it. (cuts off to Nedra when she blinks her eyes)

I-- (interview) Fuck you, Amanda! You skate on thin ice! It's not the one I seared.

[drops the tuna onto the workstation] Fucking hell! (throws a spoon away) I STOOD AWAY TO GO! A PIECE OF FISH THAT BIG THAT CAN'T BE SEARED! SHIT! (knocks over the workstation twice)

Chef, I need take four--

Nedra seared it, chef. I got it.

(rekindles Amanda) "Nedra seared it, I got it." (throws a spoon with a disappointment)

(interview) Back off the station, I have it!

Chef, it was a poor mistake I'm trying to fix right now.

Fucking bitch!

We're firing apps brilliantly, and now we're gonna start firing entrées.

Heard that, Chef.

Okay? First table away. Don't fall behind!

Absolutely.

Yes, Chef.

Red team, away now: one New York strip, one branzino. They go with the Blue team at the exact same time, yes?

Yes, Chef!

Zach, one pork, one filet.

I'm ready now, one minute!

Hey, come here, you fuckface. This is where he doesn't understand jack shit. "I'm ready now, one minute." And yet the Red team need a bit of fucking time. [points to the Red Team] I wouldn't let them do that to you, so why are you doing that to them?

Um, Chef, three minutes?

What'd you think? We started off with what? [holds his hand up]

Five.

Thank you.

(interview) Unbelievable. Let me just keep my mouth shut. Yes, Chef!

Is that clear now?

Yes, that's very clear!

I appreciate that!

Thank you, Chef.

That's why I call you "fuckface!"

Not a problem, Chef!

Because you're fucking them (the Red team) and you're fucking me!

I don't wanna fuck anybody!

Thank you!

Thank you! (interview) Did I just have a conversation with Chef Ramsay about fucking? [cuts to Zach in the kitchen, grinning] Yes, I did.

They're overcooked. No, no, no, no, no.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, we're moving. We got this.

We're not fucking moving and yet you haven't got anything. What is that shit?

I'll do it again, chef. I'm sorry, chef.

Look at them. Just touch them. That is disgusting!

(interview) This is my worst nightmare. Fuck!

I cannot believe you done that! What is happening in here?! (points to Susan) She's cooking four risottos, we need two (points to Ja'Nel) and you're bastardising scallops! I'll reduce the menu, I'll pull down the appetisers, pull down the entrées for you to shine!

(interview) Ja'Nel is dronwning at this point. You are dragging the team down.

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!!

(interview) I just want to slap her. Ja'Nel, wake up! Come on! You're so much better than this!

Get a grip!

Yes, chef.

(to Ja'Nel) Go get it, chef. You'll get better, chef.

Give me two minutes on those scallops.

We got this. We're good.

"We got this"? Fucking hell. She (Ja'Nel) can't even cook a scallop.

Nedra!

Yes, chef?

Why can't you do the cold? (to Zach) Why did she drop [the pasta] that?

She said she don't need any help.

My worry is the slowness.

(interview) Chef, just watch how to let me fucking do this, I don't need no help!

If I was in the Blue team, I'd have her off the fucking appetisers, I'll put her on the garnish, and someone with a pair of balls could step up and take over that fucking mess! (to the Blue team; goes to Nedra's station) All of you, come here! Just look! Just look at the fucking mess in here! The shit, the disarray, the disorganisation and look, [gets a basket of pasta on Nedra's station] look, look. LOOK AT THE MESS!

YES, CHEF! I'M GOING TO GET IT TOGETHER!

This is a joke. They're not seared! (returns to the workstation) All of you, come here! Quick!

Are you serious?

Like mush. Mush, mush, MUSH! (knocks his hand on the workstation) It's just a fucking joke!

Fuck! (interview) God, are you kidding me? We can't even get past hot apps this late of the competition? God, it's humiliating!

Yet again, we're fucking struggling! I'm putting the gas, I'm turning the engine, I'm driving every fucking table! I'M DONE!

(interview) Please, don't let this be happening again.

(points to every member of the Blue team) Listen, listen, listen, listen! Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off! GET OUT! GET OUT! Idiots!

There's going to be--.

(interrupting Mary) No, it's not four minutes, come here! It's sushi time! Just touch that. I don't know what you're doing now. Do you know who this is for?

The VIP, chef.

(Interview) The one VIP in the house and I'm fucking ruining it. (to Gordon) Sorry, chef. (Interview) I hope this is a bad dream. I mean someone pinch me, slap me, shake me out of this hell hole that I'm in right now.

I'm done! (points to every member of the Red team) YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU! FUCK OFF OUT OF HERE!

Fuck me!

GET OUT! (to Cyndi) Hey! Excuse me, madam!

Yes, chef!

"Fuck me"? How about "FUCK YOU"?

(interview) How are we making these stupid mistakes?

I'm done! FUCK OFF! OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!

It's two and a half hours into dinner service and all of the red diners have been fed. But thanks to Zach's careless performance...

Is that lamb-- (sees that it's overcooked) Oh, please! Does that not look like it's overcooked? Hey, you! Hey, fuck-face!

...the men are struggling with the two remaining tickets and all eyes are on Zach's lamb.

Looks like elephant shit from here!

I understand, chef. I'm just waiting for the fish.

You fucking give me one more excuse, I swear to God, take your jacket and fuck off out of here!

I'm sorry, chef.

Stop making excuses!

Yes, chef.

Two lamb, one wellington, one bass. How long? (Zach doesn't answer; goes over to Zach's station) Put it down, I can do the rest. You can fuck off, Zach.

(interview) Chef Ramsay has just had it. He comes in and says "You know what, Zach? I'm going to work your station now."

Chef, you're going to put it fat side down first?

Now he's asking me stupid questions. "Hey, chef, can I brush my teeth? Hey, chef, uh...can I change my pants?" One mistake and he's so frazzled.

Cyndi? Hey all of you, come here. Come here! Just touch that. Touch that lobster. When it's something so curly like that, what does it mean?

Overcooked, chef.

So it fucking (throws the lobster hard against the wall) bounces off the fucking wall!

(interview) Did that just happened?! It is black jackets time, we could not be making these stupid mistakes.

Can I have a poached lobster?!

Yes, chef.

Pick that [the lobster] up.

Yes, chef.

Come on, ladies. Pick it up!

(to Cyndi) Do you need some help, Cynd?

What's the matter with you?!

I got it. I'm bouncing back chef. I'm bouncing back right now.

Jesus Christ.

Now, it's raw. Just stone-fucking-cold. Hey all of you, come here!

Oh, crap!

Now, the lobster is raw!

Ugh!

(to Cyndi) Come here you! Just touch that. You know it's wrong, it's stone-cold! First one was rubber, now this is ice-cold!

Yes, chef.

[leads the Red team to the pantry] Come here you. All three of you, come here! (to Sous-chef Andi) Andi, take over! SUSAN!

Yes-- I'm coming! I'm coming chef!

Get in here!

Yes, chef!

Come on!

[angrily slams the door] What's happening?! What's the matter with you?!

(interview) I have never been in the pantry with Chef and it's never a good thing when he takes you back there.

You've got to get a standard inside you! You're screwing the Red team!

Yes, chef.

I'd rather slow down and increase the standard than sending me shit!

Yes, chef.

WAKE UP! All of you!

Yes, chef!

All of you. ALL OF YOU! [points to Ja'Nel] Hey, I mean you.

No, chef. I'm sorry, chef.

Yeah, come here you. Taste that.

(interview) Ugh! It's disgusting!

Come here. All of you, come here. [leads the Final five to the back counter; points to Antonio Sabàto, Jr. at the Chef's Table] We have a VIP guest in the fucking kitchen. What is that? IT'S MUSH! ABSOLUTE MUSH!! What is happening?!

(interview) I can't believe it. It's just really embarrassing.

Get a grip now!

Yes, chef!

Sorry, chef.

Here we go. Two covers, Table 21: two mussels, entrée: one halibut, one New York Strip.

Yes, chef!

Two minutes on this order: one halibut, one New York!

Three minutes, heard.

Who called? What's she yelling about? Susan called out halibut, New York steak and we haven't sent out the appetisers. What's going, Susan?

Right now, we have one halibut, and one New York!

Hey, all of you, come here! Stop what you're doing, all of you. She's firing entrées, one halibut, one New York strip. FYI, dumbo, we haven't even sent the appetisers!

(interview) What is Susan thinking right now? Like, what are you thinking Susan?

Is the ticket crossed out?

No, chef.

What are you doing to them?

We fired that ticket, chef.

Who's "we"?! I didn't!

She's screwed.

All of a sudden, you're the chef, right?

No, chef! No!

Step up. Here you go. (takes off his apron and gives it to Susan) Here you go. You fucking run it then. Here you go. Andi, leave her alone.

(interview) Susan can't even give correct times on her own station. She's running the kitchen? (sighs) We're fucked.

Sorry.

You run it! Fuck it, there you go, run it! (tosses his tongs on the hotplate) Fucking good luck. Off you go. This is a fucking joke. Andi, fuck them! Leave them! (Gordon and Andi walk out of the kitchen) Pathetic!

Do I recognize you?

You might have - we might have met before, maybe on, uh, season nine. (interview) Last time I was on Hell's Kitchen...[flashback of Jason's appearance in season 9, where he was getting medically evacuated] I'm all right.

You don't really sound all right.

[back to the present] (interview) I got a little dehydrated. It sucked. Didn't even make it through the first dinner service. But I'm back, totally hydrated, ready to go.

Welcome back.

Thank you, chef.

Tortellini, what's inside the filling?

It's just a cheese. It's a packaged tortellini. Fresh tortellini.

Packaged fresh tortellini?

That's how it's sold, chef.

Please tell me you used fresh tomatoes.

Uh, they were canned tomatoes. [audience groans; Gordon throws the dish in the trash without tasting]

Come on! That was a joke!

(interview) His whole meal came out of a box. Who does that? You know, you're cooking for Chef Ramsay.

(to Kashia) Congratulations, that was delicious, well done ladies. Next two dishes. Let's go.

(interview) I'm a little insulted. It's not like it's packaged dog food. [under his breath] Fuck it, that's bullshit, bro.

(to Mike) Come here you. What did you just say?

It's the signature dish challenge and Mike from New Jersey has cost the men their first point and now his mouth may have cost him something else.

[Mike stands in silence] Yeah, okay. You got anything to say to me, say it to my face, not my back.

Got it, chef.

Now, fuck off!

[looks at Gaurav's dish] What is that?

Tuna steak crusted in a little African dukkah spice. (interview) After taking first bite of my dish, he's gonna be in that orgasm. Like the zen mode.

It's dreadful. What a big disappointment.

With Gaurav missing the mark, Sandra from New York has the chance to give the ladies their first lead with her pan-seared cod.

[looks at Sandra's dish] If I ate that, it would back me up like an L.A. fucking freeway. None of you a point. Disgusting.