Gordon quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Losers, unfortunately, your punishment is at the other end of the spectrum. It's incredibly unglamourous. I can't think of any worse place to be. Today, I'm looking for everything that's possible to be recycled from every garbage bin inside this restaurant.

I've never seen anything inside of a garbage can that should be taken out. I might find this a little difficult.

I can guarantee that within one hour, you'll find something.

(interview) Chef Ramsay tells us that they get to go to In Touch magazine and we have to dig through some fucking trash. I grew up in the ghetto in the hood. I ain't never been in no trash.

Let's take our punishment like gentlemen.

Brad, thank you for being a man.

Thank you chef.

I guess I'm not a man. [starts throwing and slamming stuff as the blue team cleans up the kitchen] (interview) I'm pissed off! That was the dumbest fucking decision I've seen! That was bullshit!

(interview) Rock, he was pissed. Pissed to the point where I thought he was going to flip out.

What kind of shit is that?

(interview) I'm sorry, "thought". He flipped out.

Lobster bisque.You can get that shit at motherfucking Corner Bakery! (interview) You can go everywhere and get a fucking lobster soup! A grilled bullshit salad with some fucking apple! ORIGINALITY! BE CREATIVE!

And they get the fucking win! (interview) They're not creative over there and we lose?! What the fuck is original about a crab and lobster bisque?! NOTHING!

Does Rock always get that mad?

I've never seen Rock that mad.

Never.

Brad?

Yes, Chef?

Two appetisers, you served me three. It's not a good start, guys. Water's not boiling properly for the fucking pasta, I call away a spaghetti and a fucking sea bass, I get a risotto as a little gift I don't fucking need. Stop panicking!

Melissa?

Yes, Chef?

It's like paper scallops.

I'll get new ones, Chef.

[handing Melissa's scallops to Brad and Josh] There you go.

(interview) Some of the scallops she did, they were, like, thin as a paper; there's like nothing there.

Pass it back to Chef Melissa, the fucking gremlin. Everything she touches, she screws, there you go.

Sorry guys.

Hey, madam, this is not our first night?

Yes, chef. No, chef.

"Yes, chef. No, chef?" Fucking gremlin.

Monkfish chef.

Eh, right. Uhm, Fish King, (Josh) come here you. There's the monkfish.

Overcooked?

It's overcooked.

Oh, god almighty. You don't know that's overcooked?

Sorry chef.

Hey, Brad, she doesn't know that's overcooked. Rock, she doesn't know that's chewed to fuck and overcooked. Scott, she doesn't know that's overcooked?

Oh, my God. Completely.

(interview) Melissa was nervous, I could see it in her eyes and she fell apart. The monkfish was overdone. Pressure busts pipes, baby!

It looks like regurgitated dog shit. Where's other monkfish gone?

I have one left chef.

Oh, no! So the six top on order are all shit?

Yes.

No, no, no! Right Rock, listen to me, no choice now. Stop the veg, get on the fish. You! (Melissa) Oi, oi! Get on the garnish. Get the fuck off of there! Get off!

What's the matter?

Lobster's chewy, chef. And the beef overdone.

Ohhhh, no. The whole fucking six top returned. Hello, look at me. Thanks (Melissa) for overcooking the monk-fish. Thanks (Josh) for shafting me on the mashed potatoes, and thanks (Brad) for being a twat on the appetisers. It's just so sad. Shut it down! Clear down.

What about dessert?

When it's closed, it's closed.

Fuck that.

Hello! Hey, hey, hey! We haven't got the garnish now! The team's not working together and I'm getting a little bit pissed now! Not one of you talking, see what's happening!

Yes, chef.

You're just screwing your-fucking-selves!

I see what's happening.

NO-ONE'S EVEN TALKING TO EACH OTHER!!! [kicks the bins]

(to Josh) Where's the lamb? How long please? HOW LONG, PLEASE?

Lamb's coming right now, chef.

Let's go.

Yes, chef.

Hey, you. Hey, donkey.

Yes, chef.

One's nicely cooked, yeah, coloured, one's boiled. Fuck off, will you? So we're under pressure now and this is where it separates the fucking chef from a donkey! Come here! Let me tell you something.

Yes, chef.

Let me tell you something in your ear: YOU CAN'T COOK! That's what's just been confirmed to me.

Good to go? We're coming, Rock.

Yeah, you're coming. So is your fucking elimination. Come round. Just look what you're doing here, you DOUGHNUT! Look - boiled, boiled, boiled, boiled. DONKEY!

Yes, chef.

I expected perfect!

For the first time in Hell's Kitchen, the women and men must work together in one kitchen to feed the entire dining room.

I'm going to have the spaghetti with crab.

I'll have scallops for appetizers.

On order, four covers table 32: Scallops, mullet, langoustine straight after yes?

Yes, chef! (interview) I'm working app(etizer)s tonight. I am 100% confident in myself to get the team started off with a bang. (to his teammates) Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

[finds that Josh has cooked risotto ahead] Why is the risotto on? We haven't even got one away. How long has that been on there for?

That's been on there for four minutes. These were on there earlier. They're going away.

[finds that Josh has cooked five other risottos] Fucking h-- how many are you doing? Can someone stop this guy? Have you stopped panicking, my ma-- how many fucking risottos are you doing up front? Look at all these pans!

Yes, chef.

What's going on? Let me just tell you something: we've opened, we haven't served anything yet, and we've lost money! What a fucking doughnut!

Rock!

Yes, chef?

Yeah, you can fuck yourself! Look at that there, look at that. There you go. Come on! Oh, fucking hell. Three more scallops in! It takes one minute to sauté the scallops. Is that what we serve in Hell's Kitchen?

Not at all, chef.

We're going from fucking bad to worse, man.

(interview) It just seemed so comical. Rock and Josh aren't doing well.

Scallops, risottos, spaghetti! (to Josh) What's in that basket?

This is one of the pulled--

Why? Just talk to me. Why? Why? Why? [sees that there's already spaghetti in the basket]

Start anew. Start anew.

Oh, fuck me. In your restaurant before you come here, do you cook spaghetti before the customer orders it?

Never, chef.

So why are you doing it here?

It was wrong.

Oh, was it really wrong? Even my mum cooks spaghetti seven minutes before she wants it. Get it in the bin!

Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck. Josh, you're putting more spaghetti in! It's not away!

I heard two spaghetti.

It's the third and fourth table that's right. PUT IT IN THE BIN!

Going in the bin right now chef.

Oh fuck me.

While Julia struggles to get her station under control, Josh continues to test Chef Ramsay's patience.

What the fuck is he doing? [sees more spaghetti in the basket] Wha? More spaghetti in there! [dumps it in the bin]

Sorry.

We cook spaghetti to order!

Yes, chef.

Even the fucking, dirtiest, scummiest Italian restaurant in Venice Beach cooks spaghetti to order, you donkey!

Yes, chef.

I'm just wondering what the fuck you're doing.

I'm here, chef.

You're pushing me to the fucking limit, big boy, yeah?

More than a hour into dinner service, guests are finally getting a taste of Josh's appetizers.

How's everything?

[whispers in JP's ear] It's undercooked.

Oh, my God!

Risotto undercooked, chef.

Sorry?

Under-cooked, chef.

Oh, my God almighty! [tastes the risotto, then spits it out] Ugh! Ugh! Oh, fuck off! Fuck-- (to Josh) come here! Come here! Come here! Come here! Come here, you! What are you doing? Just what the FUCK are you doing? Every table so far, nothing's coming out. You're standing there, you're screwing me, and you're fucking useless. What are you doing?

Sorry, chef.

Yeah, do me a favor.

Yes, chef?

[rips Josh's jacket open] Take that off and FUCK OFF OUT OF HERE! GET OUT! GET OUT! Hey, you! Leave the jacket and GET OUT! GET OUT!

Give me the jacket!

I'm giving you--

Give me the FUCKING jacket! [Gordon takes the jacket from Josh, crumples it up and throws it into the storeroom] Fucking useless sack of SHIT! GET OUT! GET OUT!

[leaving Hell's Kitchen] (interview; imitates a bomb falling and exploding) I would have given my right arm to stay in this service and keep fighting because I came here with a dream to win...and it appears it's over. It appears that Green Valley Ranch is not in my future. Dream's over, guys.

The four remaining chefs have managed to move on to desserts. But the moment is anything but sweet.

What is this? Is this yours?

That's the ice cream base. Put it over there if you could on the sink. [Rock puts the base on the counter where Bonnie is working. Jen reaches in front of Bonnie for the container.] Asshole!

You a fucking asshole!

Hey, hey, hey! Do you mind? We're not arguing amongst ourselves are we?

No, chef.

Yeah the fucking weak link is gone, now you should start fucking working as a team!

Don't jump when you say jump!

Stop, stop, stop.

Who the fuck you think you're talking to.

Stop!

I can not run this kitchen like this!

Big man. Big man.

Big man shit.

SHUT THE FUCK UP! [bangs the overhead] Enough's enough.

Big man shit!

You guys, knock it off. Okay, we got one brulee, one panna cotta, and then we're done.

Despite the ongoing fighting,...

Simple ass broad.

You're crazy.

...The aspiring chefs manage to successfully complete dinner service.

Rock, no cursing.

No, chef.

Never ever in front of your mum.

Welcome to Hell's Kitchen. You must be all very excited to meet Chef Gordon Ramsay. Actually, I'm quite good at doing an impression of him.

" What about you(To Shayna)? Can you do a little impression of Gordon?

How about you(To Jason)?

I think you're going to have to work on it. What about you (To chef Ramsay) big guy?

(interview) Damn, he's doing it real good.

(interview) Wait a minute.

(interview) I know that voice.

That's right. It's me. (removes his disguise. The chefs start screaming and hollering.)

(interview) Oh, my God! I've been sitting next to the chef on the bus the whole fucking time!

(interview) Whoo! Didn't know it was coming.

Halt! Let's see if you guys can actually cook as well as you shout off on the bus. And you, the black Gordon Ramsay right?

Yes sir. Four star general.

Time to button it now and start cooking. Get in there and cook me your signature dishes. Let's go!