Gordon quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Very few of the chefs have impressed Chef Ramsay with their dishes. Now, it's down to the final chef.

Oh, fuck me. Whose is this?

(dressed up as a cowboy) It's me, chef.

And where's your horse?

I left him parked outside, chef.

I've never met an Asian cowboy.

(interview, laughs) I knew I shouldn't have worn this outfit!

You are one chunky monkey, aren't you?

(laughs) Yes, chef.

What is it?

It's finger food chef, so.

How big are your fucking fingers?

I have big hands.

[tastes part of the dish] This...is nice, just throw all that away. Your biggest problem is you don't know when to stop.

(interview) My plate was full, but, heck, I would've eaten all the food on the plate.

With the red team in shambles, Chef Ramsay turns to the blue team for some reassurance.

Aaron, how are you feeling?

Sorry. [starts to cry] I can't believe I'm crack-- I'm cracking up right now.

Keep it together! For God's sakes, man!

I don't know what's going on! [continues to cry]

Now you're making me feel nervous! I am not going into service with this level of incompetence. You know that.

(outside, to the waiting diners) Not too good... not too good...

Stop fucking crying. Stop, STOP! Do you want to go and lie down in the dorm?

No, sir, I'm fine. I'm fine, chef. I apologize. I'm fine.

You can do it.

Yes, chef.

Good man.

Who cooked these quail's eggs?

I did, chef.

Touch that there. It's like a plastic silicon implant. Fucking bin them. Get rid of them.

(to Vinnie) Hey, just come here, you. You're putting water in the risotto.

Chef, I put water in the risotto, we don't-we don't have any left(over) stock.

Oh, for fuck's sake...

(interview) Well, hmm, stock is made of water, and vegetables are made of water. No harm, no foul. That's all we have.

[tastes] It tastes like gnat's piss. [coughs] Stop it! Look at me now, okay? Get off the section! Brad! Hey, get on there. Get your arse on there. And stay on there!

While it's total chaos in the red kitchen, in the blue kitchen, the retirement home chef seems to be feeling all of his 48 years.

[washing his face with water] Oh, fuck.

(interview) I'd like to see Aaron get better.

Oh, fuck.

(interview) Get better at cooking.

I'm kind of dizzy right now. I'll be back in five, gentlemen.

(interview) He just gave up. I would never walk off the line short of being punched in the face. Finish your night.

You've gone white.

[whimpering] Chef, I don't want to quit because of me. I don't want to quit because...

Hey.

But, I don't want to quit because of the guys, they're trying so hard. Everybody's trying really hard.

Hey, shhhhhhhh. Relax, relax, relax.

With Aaron taking early retirement from the meat station, Josh jumps in and tries to save the day.

Two minutes -- Eddie, are you okay with two minutes on that?

Yes.

Okay, two minutes!

Come on guys, no bickering, let's do it!

(interview) I was born for this.

Come on guys! (interview) Unfortunately, I myself walked into the deepest pile of the shit.

Josh,

Yes, chef?

How many portions of chicken are overcooked?

One, two, three, four, and that's all the chicken that we have, chef.

So we've got no chicken anywhere?

We have no chicken, chef.

We don't have any fucking chicken, we don't have any more Wellingtons, we don't have any fucking lettuce! We haven't served any food! How could we be out of anything?

(to the red team) Your tables are now getting up... pissed off, and leaving! Nothing's getting done.

Eddie, fill those out. They're going to taste like fucking lighter fluid.

People fucking me up right now.

Maryann, are they arguing again?

Yes, chef, they are.

(to the red team) STOP! [calls out the red team] Come here. Shut it down, forget it. Service, (to Jean-Philippe) we're shutting it down.

You've got every right to look down, because that was embarrassing. Ladies, I've never seen girls bitch so much. It was just evil and twisted. Hell's Bitches. Vinnie, 60 minutes without any appetizers. What have you got to say?

I didn't know what you wanted. You didn't want to show me. So what did you want me to do?

You two-faced lazy little fucker.

Lazy?

(interview) All I could think to myself was, "Please shut up. Who are you talking to? Are you serious?" I just couldn't, I couldn't believe it.

What do you want me to do? Wipe your ass?

(to the customers) My name's Aaron. I'm a chef. I'm one of your chefs tonight. And welcome to Hell's Kitchen.

Thank you.

(to Jean Philippe) What in the fuck is Aaron doing in the dining room?

My name's Aaron, and I'm a chef in Hell's Kitchen. Welcome to Hell's Kitchen.

He's talking to customers.

He's talking to customers.

My name's Aaron. Well, you already know my name because it's on my shirt!

Get that fucking donkey out of there!

45 minutes into dinner service and Eddie's spaghetti has brought the blue kitchen to a standstill so Chef Ramsay turns to the women for a little hope.

Spaghetti, scallops how long?

3 minutes, chef.

[sees what Bonnie is doing] What are you doing? What are you doing?

I'm doing 3 scallops, chef.

See? I called one spaghetti, one scallops, then she's doing three scallops.

I thought I heard... I'm sorry. Okay, one scallop.

Are you a dumb blonde?

Eddie! Oh, no. Oh, no! [returns to the workstation] ALL OF YOU! Taste it! It's inedible! [spits it out] It's way too peppery and you wouldn't even serve it to a fucking PIG! (to Eddie) Get off the section!

Yes, chef.

Get off!

Yes, chef.

Taste that. It's overcooked and peppery, Brad! Fucking wake up will you please, yes? That's the second one by two different cooks. One fucking risotto, as quick as possible please.

Yes, chef.

Josh, what are you doing there, what are you doing there with that chicken there? Is that dry?

No, chef.

It looks dry from here. Just touch that, that's the skin, my man. Yeah. Yeah.

Yes, chef. Yes, chef. [Gordon smashes the chicken from the plate] (interview) Did that honestly just happen? What just happened?

That's it, fuck it! [throws the chicken on the floor] That's dry.

Yes, chef.

You, you, you, you! Hey, you, you! Come here! You, come here! Hey, you! Fucking come here, you! [calls out Aaron] Where's that fucking cowboy? Aaron! [Aaron enters the kitchen] Now you've (Josh) got dry chicken. You fucking donkey. You (Eddie) can't even do a fucking risotto, you know that? You (Aaron) can't even filet a fucking fish! You, you, you, you, you, you, fuck off out of here. Get out. GET OUT! The fucking girls will finish the meal service. Get out!

Aaron, you're in the dining room like the President of the United States of America shaking hands with people. What the fuck was that all about?

I apologize, chef. Obviously, I didn't do that great of a job.

Who's coo... Who?...

I did the scallops, chef. What's wrong?

What's wrong?

Are they raw?

Oh, come on! Fucking hell! You just asked me are they raw. Why don't you tell me what the fuck they are?

They're raw, chef.

[throws a scallop in the bin, disgusted] Fuck off!

[smelling the crab] Hey, missy (Joanna), is that crab high to you? Anyone else smell that? Where's the crab? [picks up the container and smells it] Ugh! Maryann, smell that-- [seeing Joanna trying to leave] hey you, don't you fucking dare! Come here you! Hello!

[smelling the crab] Oh god.

Can you not smell that? The crab is off. It's fucking rancid! How can you do that?

I did not smell the crab chef.

(interview) I can't believe Joanna had been using that. I mean, it just made you sit up and go "Whoa!"

Have you sent one out already?

No, chef, we haven't.

Thank God for that! YOU'LL KILL SOMEONE! [throws the crab in the bin] Hey, get off! Get off! Julia, take over.

Yes, chef.

Should I recommend something else?

Oh, you fuck recommend. Yeah, recommend a new restaurant.

Hey, hello! Come here, donkeys! Here we go. We started. Come here! What is that?

It's a raw egg.

What is that? [shows the egg to Josh] What-what is that? What is that? [slams the raw egg in Vinnie's whites] Fuck off, will you? Fuck off! Okay?

(interview) He slammed that shit right in Vinnie's... chest and Vinnie tensed up and he was about to bust and all I could think was, "Oh, my God. Do not lose your head."

Fuck off! Hey, why did you let it go when you know it's not fucking ready?

I screwed up again chef.

Hey, look at me now. You've now just confirmed to my mind you're not trustworthy! So fuck you!

(interview) It's tough to bite your tongue. I just figured take it, it's the only way to win and you'll be alright.

Start the fucking table again.