Gordon quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Where is the lamb?

It's working, chef.

I'm about to send the third table of entrées from the blue team and I still haven't got the lamb out from the red team!

Yes, chef.

Now it's turning into a fucking big embarrassment!!!

Yes, chef!

And I'm gonna kick you out any minute now, unless you get me a fucking lamb!!!

Yes, chef!

Sara! Come here, missy!

Yes, chef?

I don't know if you're colour-blind or you've got a problem with your fucking contact lenses, that is blood. Look, it's blood! They want it medium, it's still fucking rare! [pounds the counter]

Yes, chef!

There's blood everywhere! We still haven't sent an entrée from the red team.

Yes, chef.

(to Jean-Philippe at the pass) Take the lamb off the menu. Stop it! I don't give a flying FUCK! (to Sara) You! Don't DARE cook any more lamb: Jean-Philippe has taken so much flak on the back of your inconsistency!

Hmm.

If you're going to grill a salmon Sara, you don't tie it and fucking stuff it together. That is the third dish from the red team that is totally impractical. Can we just cut the salmon into a slice without fucking around?

Yeah. Consistency?

Don't fucking dare! Don't fucking dare!! Missy, missy, come here you fat mouthed little stupid bitch!

Yes, chef?

You're pissing around with something that's not working! Has that fucking clicked?

Yes, chef.

IT'S FUCKING RARE!! Just stop! [calls the blue team who have just completed their service] Blue team, come here! All of you! I'm so fucking determined to have a successful completed service. I've got 11 tables waiting for main courses from the red team! You (the blue team) get on the sections and work together!

Thank you, chef.

I personally don't want to stick around for pretty more shit. [exits the kitchen in disgust] A fucking embarrassment.

Away now, one risotto, three Salad Saint-Jacques, let’s go.

Yes chef!

They only need turning Sara otherwise they become overcooked yeah.

Yes chef!

Are they overcooked?

Yes chef, they are!

Oh come on!

Heather West

You've got to watch your scallops.

Thank you, Heather. I've got it.

Missy.

Yes, chef?

If you sauté scallops in a non-stick pan, they won't stick! That's why it's called FUCKING NON-STIIIIICK! [Gordon's voice goes falsetto on "STICK"] I don't know what non-stick means in Texas, sweetheart, but FUCK ME!

Yes, chef!

Hoping to satisfy Chef Ramsay, Garrett rushes his chicken to the pass.

Garrett, the chicken is raw!

Yes, chef.

You're going to kill someone!

Garrett has just brought a dish to the pass that is not only inedible but downright dangerous.

You knew it's raw!

I'm doing it because it's faster chef. It's the only reason.

Faster?! You've always got a fucking answer for everything!

I'm just trying to--

SHUT IT! YOU SHOULDN'T BE IN WHITE!!

Excuse me, Mr. Ramsay.

Yeah, just wait I'll be thirty seconds right now.

Uh... Excuse me.

I just asked for thirty seconds, will you just be so kind, I'm in the middle of serving a table. Service!

How long do you think it might be?

Would you mind taking your breasts off my hotplate? Look at that. How will I serve food with those fucking things there?

Fuck you. [she flips a plate full of food on the tray and storms off]

Security, please!

(to Sara) Missy, how many scallops are you serving per portion?

Five each.

Are they small, big or massive?

They're medium.

They're medium? Missy, [in a fast tone; gives her a towel] clean your fucking glasses, I'll ask you quickly, yeah? Yeah, let's do it this way. CLEAN YOUR FUCKING GLASSES!!

Alright, chef. [wipes her glasses]

Carrots!

Yes, chef!

"Carrots" I said, not "Garrett".

Virginia, what are you doing?

I'm plating, I'm getting the tortellini, chef.

There's not a tortellini on the order.

But there's tortellini, chef.

Listen, you stupid fucking fat-mouth bitch! Bring me your ticket here, bring it here! And read it out-- Come here!

You're right, chef.

Now, will you fucking SHUT UP! [throws the ticket at the counter] YOU JUST TALK CRAP! [repeatedly pounds the counter] FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!

Where's that Belgian?

I would like to sit around with you, and stay with you, but I can't. [backs to the pass] Chef!

What are you trying to do, lose your virginity? [Jean-Philippe takes a look at Gordon, then returns to his station]

Let's go, three salmon, one turbot.

Heather?

Heather West

What?

Is there any salmon left in the house?

What's going on? What's going on?

Chef, I--

What? Come here you! Tell me! I'm the fucking chef!!

Yes, chef. I don't have enough salmon to get through the night.

You're not serious, are you?

I am serious chef.

Hey, I'd fuck off and go and buy some if I were you.

May I substitute using turbot?

Why don't you check with the maître d'? Can we serve turbot in place of the salmon?

On which table?

Table 20. Please? Thank you. (to Sara) Hey, you, fuck off, will you? You useless cow.

Turbot's in here. Sorry chef.

You know missy, you're finished aren't you?

No, chef, come on!

Hey, what do you mean come on? I want you to come on! I want you to wake up!

Chef, I told you and they're resolving it now and all I can do is give you the turbot. I have the salmon in the fridge and there's only 2!

That's right! And whose fucking fault was it?! Don't get fucking upset with me in my fucking kitchen when you're standing there sulking because you fucked the salmon!

I'm not sulking chef.

Yeah, you're finished. Heather, get on the fish please and do something for her yeah?

No, chef.

So wake up and get it back together!

I don't need to be replaced chef!

Then tell her then.

I don't need to be replaced.

There you go.

(interview) I screwed up one fucking table with one fucking salmon. I wasn't beat. Don't get up all about my crotch about shit.

Virginia, you won the challenge. I guaranteed you a place in the final three. If you want to go, that is your choice. If you decide to stay, I'll send Sara home.

I understand what you're telling me that I want to be in the final three because I deserve to be in the final three, not because you're a man of your word. Not because of a friggin challenge. I want to be there because I deserve to be.

I can't help you anymore. This is entirely your decision.

Can I ask a question chef?

Shut the fuck up for 30 seconds.

This...is quite possibly the toughest decision I've had to make. The person leaving Hell's Kitchen tonight and will not be advancing to the final two is........ Keith. What I am looking for is a leader. And personally big boy, you're not ready. Give me your jacket.

[gives Gordon his jacket] So you're saying that Virginia's a better leader than me? I've been leading the whole time. Whatever station you told me, through the line with people that didn't know anything.

I personally don't think you're ready to lead.

I personally think that you have a hard-on for Virginia.

Why did you have to be so fucking rude?

Because you're rude to me all the time.

So? Now I definitely know I've made the right decision. So your attitude does stink.

And whose dish is that?

It's mine, chef.

What is the dish?

It is chorizo-encrusted pink snapper.

Where in the fuck's the snapper?

It's underneath.

That's the snapper there?

Yes sir.

Okay. [tastes] God, fuck. Do you think you can really seriously eat all that without burning your mouth? What a disappointment.

I don't think so.

Now you want to fucking argue. Back in line.

Yes, chef. (interview) I think he looked at me and said, "This guy's really confident", and I think I intimidated him.

What a fucking jerk.

Whose is this?

(interview) Food is sex, and everybody likes sex, and everybody likes food. I want to make people feel like they just had great sex.

Unfortunately, it's raw. Raw foie gras. Take that. [gives a piece to Josh and they both taste] Thank you.

(interview) That foie gras was goddamn perfect.

That is way, way, way too salty, my man.

(interview) OK, I'll give him, it was a little salty.