Gordon quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Now the red kitchen's first entrées are about to go out. All that's left is a piece of salmon from the most experienced chef on the red team.

Chris.

Yes, chef?

Come here. You're an executive chef right?

Yes, chef.

What do you think of that?

It's a little fucked up, chef.

[pushing the fish into Chris' chest] There you go. Sorry. I told you fucking earlier, hello? And you knew it's fucked up.

You're right chef.

Yeah, and an executive chef doesn't serve shit like that, do they?

I apologize, chef.

No, no, you apologise. Don't you do it again! Okay?

I'll start it again chef. [interview] I haven't gotten where I am today without having skills. I think Gordon recognizing talent is going to come with time.

Send the whole fucking table back. The executive chef has just sent me an overcooked piece of shit. (interview) Chris has a huge chip on his shoulder. He's an executive chef which basically means you sit on your arse all day long. And clearly he's been doing that for the last ten years.

How does this look, Chef Ramsay?

What do you mean, "How does this look?" Hey, Andrew, get out the habit. Come here, you. I'm not going to run to you, I'm trying to run the hotplate here so would you be so kind to come and talk to me. Is that clear?

[interview] I firmly believe that Chef Ramsay just doesn't like me.

Is this acceptable chef?

Yeah, listen to me - did you hear my fucking question?!

Yes.

Answer it! Okay?

Yes.

Good! Now what are you saying?

I'm asking you if this looks acceptable.

Right, get on the hotplate.

[interview] You - you want to pick on me? Pick on me! I don't give a shit.

And you think every time you want to ask me a question, fat fuck, that I'm going to go down there and run to you while I'm trying to run a kitchen. You fucking come to me. Is that clear?

Yes, chef.

Good! Now what was the question?

Is this acceptable to you?

I'll let you know. Now fuck off. [interview] Andrew, he likes to learn the hard way. Kitchens are run on emotions. I may get upset, but the most important thing is, it's not personal.

Chef? Mr. Chef?

Yes, ladies?

You hurt my friend's feelings.

I hurt your friend's feelings?

Yes, she's very upset.

Why?

Because you told her to fuck off.

Oh, really? Did I?

Yeah you did.

Could you tell her that I meant it?

Yeah, I'll tell her.

Jean-Philippe, s'il vous plaît? Can you please escort these bimbos back to plastic surgery?

Blue team, stop what you're doing. Stop what you're doing. Forget it. [crosses over to the red kitchen] Red team?

Yes, chef?

Switch it off. I'm shutting down the kitchen. I'm so pissed off, I'm not prepared to see any more shit food coming out. Shut it down.

You're waiting on a wellington and one bass yes? Well I'm deeply, deeply, deeply sorry but right now we're about seven tables behind.

That doesn't do much for me.

Yeah, right, can I just say, you do fuck all for me either.

Sorry?

You do nothing for me either.

I just don't understand why it's so difficult to serve some people their food.

Are you that arrogant, you haven't got a clue of what's going on behind me?

It seems like you have a lot of amateur sous-chefs.

Right. Finally your head's coming outside your arsehole. Now sit down, you fucking dick. What an arsehole.

Nothing upsets Chef Ramsay more than when customers come to the kitchen.

Away now, two cod, two wellington. [gets no response from Dewberry] Away now, two cod, two wellington.

Yes, chef.

How long?

12 minutes.

12 minutes? Show me your wellington's rested.

I have no idea.

What?!

I have no idea, I am so confused.

Oh my God. You don't care anymore do you?

At this point, no I don't.

You're not interested anymore?

No.

No, you can't cut it?

No I can't.

You're useless, you know that?

I am. Goodbye! [starts to leave]

Goodbye. That's it? [The red team calls for Dewberry to come back]

[interview] When I got ready to leave and I saw the look on Elsie's face, I knew I couldn't walk out.

[coming back] Sorry chef. I'm confused. I don't know what I'm doing.

Thank you for coming back. You never - hello? - desert your section again! You understand?

Yes, chef.

You stand there like a man and you face it!

Yes, chef.

Because I'm standing in front of customers taking shit because of you!

Yes, chef.

Get on your section and get those wellingtons out.

Yes, chef.

[interview] He was trying to get me to understand what the shortcomings were, and about staying with the team, and he was trying to get me to be - I guess - better than I am evidently. [sheds a tear]

He hasn't cooked anything because he's standing there. Now he wants to run back to his mummy.

After pizza was delivered and his maître d' was assaulted, Chef Ramsay has seen enough.

Red team, shut the place down and clean down, yeah?

Yes, chef.

[crosses over to the blue kitchen] Last table, shut it down. Everything off, yes? Stoves off, turn it off.

Why's the spaghetti not in there yet?

The water's not at a rolling boil.

Not boiling? Did you top it up with cold water?

Yes, chef.

Why did you put cold water in there?

I thought that cold water was supposed to boil faster than hot water.

What?!

Jeff, one spaghetti lobster with no lobster in it. The other is loaded with lobster. Wear that one out!

Chef Ramsay's addition of Michael to the red team is already paying off.

[to Jeff] Say "Thank you, Mike." Say "Thank you, Mike."

Thank you, Mike. [under his breath] They're expecting too much for someone who's never been on a fucking line before.

Jeff, do you want him to cook your meat for you, too?

What do you want me to do?! I've never been on a fucking line before! I'm doing it, I'm trying!

Jeff! Jeff!

Are you fucking talking to me right now, Jeff?! Are you?

Whoa, whoa, whoa! What is going on?

I'm trying the best I can-

Come here! Come here, you!

I'm doing the best I can! I've never been on a line before.

Stop shouting. Alright, what are we waiting on?

I'm working on that spaghetti right now.

Alright, move your arse and get it done. Dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Jeff, we're here to help you, but you don't talk to chef like that, okay?

Jeff, did you hear that (last order)?

No, I'm done man. I'm finished.

No you're not! Come back, Jeff!

Here we go with that. Are you going to run?

No, I'm going to stay and finish up service.

Oh really. Why?

Because I'm not a quitter.

You're not a quitter. Hey, you're not a fucking cook either. [returns to the pass]

[under his breath] You're an asshole.

What was that? What did you just say? I want you to say it louder! I want you to say it louder, Jeff!

Come here. What did you say?

If you don't like me, I don't know what to tell you. You're an asshole.

That's not cool, Jeff.

Unbelievable.

That is not fucking cool.

[takes his jacket off and leaves the kitchen] Send my ass home. I've had enough of this shit.

Go, please.

A little more than two hours into dinner service, Jeff has walked out, and the Red team is trying to keep it together.

Feels like chicken, tastes like chicken...

So, what is it?

Chicken.

It tasted like a meat tortellini with a bit of sweated onions in the background.

Jesus Christ! [Gordon doubles over, contestants chuckle] That was chicken, you twat!

Uh, okay

Tortellini, where in the fuck does he get tortellini from?

You know, from the first day I met you, Andrew, you're not the kind of big-headed, arrogant little twat who likes to be steamrollered. Now you're telling me that Ralph manipulated your dish into becoming a poached halibut?

Chef, it's like I said...

Andrew, give me your jacket.

Jimmy, you won the challenge yesterday. You get to decide the person who will be serving the Caesar Salad and Fruit Flambe tableside.

Jesus.

What's that? Uh, no.

He didn't make it to the final five.

[to Jimmy] Why are you putting that salt on there, why are you putting chicken stock on there?

It's uh, fish, chef.

Why are you putting that over there like that?

It - it's not - it doesn't -

I saw you over there, I saw you going -

I did do it -

Hey, hey, listen, listen. Don't fucking start shouting your fat mouth at me. Hey - hey look at me. So I'm asking you why you're putting the fucking fish stock on a fucking risotto! GET IT OFF! [as he does] Because I think it's a bit bizarre that you finished it and you get a ladle of fish stock like that and you put it over the risotto! So I'm asking you and you refuse to tell me. Then, you will open your fat fucking mouth! So why is it on there?

[unable to answer] I'm sorry, chef.