Poison Ivy quotes from Harley Quinn

Poison Ivy

This is for selling out nature and women and--

Not having bottomless mimosas.

Harley Quinn

[driving] Where's the exit?

Poison Ivy

Oh, for the shit of shits! This is why I didn't want to get married here, the parking lot is a damn maze!

Poison Ivy

Okay, let's do this!

Kite Man

Hell, NO!

What?

Kite Man

I should have known the third time I proposed, every step in our relationship I've had to do over, and over, and OVER! And-and-and I'm not... after all of this, I am NOT redoing my wedding!

Poison Ivy

Don't... don't you want to marry me?

Kite Man

Of course I do! But you don't! I saw your face during the vows, and I knew your heart wasn't in it. I may be simple, but I'm not a fool. It is hard for me to finally admit it, but since you refused to, I will. I'm not the person for you!

Poison Ivy

No... ah, shit...

Kite Man

Like you said, Ivy, I deserve the best.

Harley Quinn

I'm really sorry, Ivy! Kite Man will come around, he always does!

Poison Ivy

Yeah, but you know what? I won't! I mean, he's right! I've been denying a lot of myself for a long time! I guess, I guess it seemed easier for me to just go along with it, you know? And now I realize I hurt a lot of people delaying the inevitable!

Harley Quinn

Well, people change, Ive!

Poison Ivy

Yeah! Yeah, people DO change! I mean look at you, what you did for me today! You... you showed me the Harley I always wanted to see, you know?

Harley Quinn

You... you don't think I'm chaotic, crazy and make a bunch of messes?

Poison Ivy

No, you definitely do that. But you're trying to grow, and actually doing it! And that... I mean, for me, that is what matters!

Harley Quinn

I love you, Ive!

Poison Ivy

[smiles] I love you too, Harls.

Harley Quinn

I'm getting nervous about Kylie's and Brittney's improv skills with Gordon.

Poison Ivy

They're trained professionals. I'm sure they can buy us at least another five minutes.

Oooh, no. We've been bad.

Oooh, we need someone to punish us.

Not Commissioner Gordon!

We're respect and fear him so much.

Two-Face

Something about this doesn't seem right.

Commissioner Gordon

Hold on. Let's hear 'em out. [Two-Face switches the lights on to see their faces.] What the...? Adult film actresses Kylie Kyriptonite and Brittney Bionic?

I'm a huge fan.

Loved you in The Drilling Joke.

Please, sign my gun.

Can I get an autograph? I-it's for my husband.

Poison Ivy

This is beyond messed up.

Harley Quinn

You know, I should hate 'em, but damn it, the girls got moves.

Kite Man

So, uh... this is awkward turtle.

Poison Ivy

No... why, why would that be?

Harley Quinn

Because we had an affair while you were dating, and you left him at the altar for me, and now we're all seated at an award show where you and I are run for "Best Couple"...

Kite Man

Bingo-bango.

Poison Ivy

Okay, bitch... Wait, what happened to you? You know what? I can guess. Let's win this Villy, crush the acceptance speech, and make that trophy a cuck.

Harley Quinn

Totally. How?

Poison Ivy

By making it watch us have crazy sex until dawn. Duh.

Harley Quinn

Okay, I absolutely love that image, but Ive, I'm so sorry. You had real anxiety all night and... I should have helped. I was so fixated on that award when I was with Joker 'cause it was the only validation I've ever got. But that was a bad relationship and I've grown beyond that. So who cares about a dumb trophy? [gently touches Ivy's face] I got the real award right here.

Poison Ivy

Aaw. That is so sweet. But I should have been more excited. I mean, this is important to you, so it is important to me.

Poison Ivy

Maybe if I just go to the Green, I can find a way to control them.

Harley Quinn

No, absolutely not! The last time you went there, you almost died.

Nightwing

What other choice do we have?

Poison Ivy

I hate to say this, but the Bludhaven boner's right. Plus, I know what to expect now. [to Harley] I've got this, peanut.

Harley Quinn

Who knew confidence was my kink?

Poison Ivy

Okay, while I'm in there, you and the Bat Freaks try to stall them off.

Harley Quinn

And you're delegating. Oh, I'm gonna need to change my shorts. [Ivy pulls her closer and passionately kisses her.] Oh God, I love you.

Poison Ivy

I know. Now, go!

Poison Ivy

Harley, face it. You... [inhales] you've evolved. You want to help people. You're not a villain anymore.

Harley Quinn

That is not true.

Poison Ivy

Why won't you just admit it?

Harley Quinn

Because I don't wanna lose you.

Poison Ivy

[Genuinely surprised] Do you really think that you would lose me?

Harley Quinn

If we don't want the same thing, what is that mean for us?

Poison Ivy

Look, if running the Legion of Doom with me isn't for you, it's okay. I don't want you to compramise yourself. We're equals in this relationship and that's why it's so great. We can fully have different passions. I mean, if I didn't leave you during your craft beer phase, I'm not leaving you now.

Harley Quinn

Yeah, I know, I could not pull off those cargo shorts.

Poison Ivy

Look, as long as you're honest with me, I will support whatever you want to do.

Harley Quinn

But what if I don't know exactly what that is? Look, I know I don't want to kill Joker and I don't want to do big evil plans, but... do I wanna help people? Maybe. I don't know. I haven't really let myself think about it. People are saying I'm not a villain anymore which is fine, like, whatever, labels are lame, but... I'm not ready to identify as... the other thing.

Poison Ivy

You know what? Then we're gonna figure this out together. Right? BFFGFFs. That's us, right?

Poison Ivy

So, okay. That's what you've decided.

Harley Quinn

It is. I was alone for so long carrying around this trauma. Then I met you and I fell in love which helped me get past it. I'm finally in a place where I can actually think about what I want. It's exciting. And scary.

Poison Ivy

I'm so proud of you.

Harley Quinn

So, is Lex gonna be pissed you didn't killed Joker?

Poison Ivy

Oh, he probably wants me even more right now...

Harley Quinn

Hmm. God knows I do. [kisses Ivy]

Poison Ivy

Oh, wait a second. Is this the one that you got from Halloween when you tried to go as Wonder Wolf-man and no one got it?

Harley Quinn

I was a wolf wearing a Wonder Woman suit. It made perfect fucking sense.

Harley Quinn

I promise, if you let me have this one, I will never bring it up again.

Poison Ivy

You will absolutely bring it up every year.

Harley Quinn

Yeah, but with less gusto.

Poison Ivy

Hope the rocket isn't shaped like a giant penis. Am I right?

Lex Luthor

There is a scientific reason the rocket needs to look like that.

Harley Quinn

Who's disrespecting you? I will kill them!

Poison Ivy

Oh, that's so sweet.