Lex Luthor quotes from Harley Quinn

Lex Luthor

Please don't make me laugh. My butthole is way too relaxed.

Lex Luthor

[Fighting Ivy and Harley] I get better workouts digesting dairy.

Poison Ivy

Hey, buddy, now that you're done kissing your own asshole...

Lex Luthor

That's not a phrase.

Poison Ivy

Is that what it stands for? I thought it was Legion of Dildos.

Lex Luthor

That is a sex shop down the street with whom we're currently in a protracted legal battle.

Bane

I wish they would make a sequel to Up.

Lex Luthor

No, they can’t! The story ended with the first movie.

Scarecrow

Unless... the kid is the old man in the sequel.

Bane

Oh, that’s fun! That’s a good one!

Lex Luthor

This is where we get approval for the use of Legion resources like goons and getaway cars...

Bane

And 'splosions!

Lex Luthor

I have no idea what the fuck "'splosions" are, Bane! But we do have EXPLOSIVES.

Poison Ivy

Hope the rocket isn't shaped like a giant penis. Am I right?

Lex Luthor

There is a scientific reason the rocket needs to look like that.

Alfred Pennyworth

[Giving out samples of White Collar Wine of a MalCon booth] It started with a single toilet booth with a crust of a bologna sandwich and now; White Collar Wine, is the official beverage of MalCon. [Chuckles with samplers clapping] Now let's start with the Chablis. [Pours glasses with samplers taking one and drinking] The nose of green jello pairs well with an aged gruyere and tax evasion.

Ooh, Penal Noir. Wow, what's with the feeling? It's like my head is spinning and my tummy is a-rumbly. But I also feel happy.

Lex Luthor

[Poison Ivy reaches for a glass with Lex slapping her hand] None for you. Alcohol dries out the vocal cords. [Ivy grumbles] There's someone I'd like to introduce you to. She's a woman, like you. Meet-

Poison Ivy

[To Alia Al Ghul wearing a tote bag reading: "I'm a moonver and a shaker"] Hey! Love the tote! Right? [They hug]

Lex Luthor

You two know each other?

God, you've been on the moon too long. We already met at the Evil Women in Business Luncheon.

Lex Luthor

Women's Luncheon?

[To Poison Ivy] Fucking Lex. You're the hot new blood here. Don't let that Ken Doll wannabe hold you back.

Poison Ivy

So he is fucking with me.

Lex Luthor

Ah! Steppenwolf's here! [Runs to him] Such an attention whore!

Poison Ivy

Gross.

Lex Luthor

God love him! Steppenwolf! Remember last year?! Wolfpack! [Steppenwolf's monster hound mauls a man's arm]

[To monster hound] Sit! [All convention goers sit on floor]

Repulsive.

Poison Ivy

You know what? I'm gonna get some facetime with Stepphenwolf.

Poison Ivy

[Rappeling down a crater with Mark Zuckerberg rappeling alongside] Hey Zuckerberg! Have fun in the metaverse, dweeb! [Undoes his carabiner link sending him floating into space screaming with Steppenwolf laughing and giving thumbs up]

Poison Ivy

[Having coffee with Steppenwolf] I just wanna say I'm really flattered that you wanted to get java with me.

You're the woman of the hour. I have unlimited resources. You have unlimited ideas. Let's collab- [chokes and coughs with his monster hound mauling a man sitting with Poison indifferent] excuse me, -orate.

[Poison walks up to him and Nora] There's the woman who conquered the moon. Saw you with Steppenwolf. [Makes gesture] Big ups.

Nora Freeze

[Holds up gift basket] This is from Talia Al Ghul.

Poison Ivy

Aw, this pretzel gun is so realistic. [Holds it up] Look at that.

The bullets are cookies!

Poison Ivy

So, while I was gone, what'd I miss?

Nora Freeze

I don't know. I thought when you were off, I was off. [Walks away]

Lex Luthor

Hey, careful where you those guns! They kill the waistline!

Poison Ivy

Oh, Lex. You look very taut! Your hair looks spiky and your cheeks are very much higher up!

Lex Luthor

[Lunges at her for a deep hug] Get over here, girly!

Poison Ivy

Hmm?

Lex Luthor

You killed it at the conference!

Poison Ivy

Really? Because you seemed a little mad when you screamed at everyone to get off your moon.

Lex Luthor

Oh, sudden rage is a side effect of forcing my body to accept falcon DNA. I came here to help bring you to the next level. I'm gifting you my PR team. [They approach] The Jons. They're the best in the biz.

Poison Ivy

Thank you, Lex. That's very generous. And also for you guys, love how all of your shoes are a slightly different shade of brown.

[Gasps] They're chestnut.

Teak.

Taupe.

Milk chocolate, but the European kind.

Poison Ivy

I really don't think I need a PR team. I think the work speaks for itself.

[Holds up gesture of a phone] Ring, ring, ring, ring. Uh, hello? Delusion. Girl, how'd you get this number? Excuse me, Ivy, it's for you.