Doctor Psycho quotes from Harley Quinn

Dr. Psycho

Last week I was in the fucking Legion of Doom and now THIS is my life!

Dr. Psycho

Now everyone hold hands and squeeze your butt cheeks together.

Dr. Psycho

[Rides an invisible motorcycle from a skyscraper] I am a golden god!

Dr. Psycho

[To Harley] Can you please fire me now so I can get some unemployment?

Dr. Psycho

[Gets excited] Thirty dollars if you put me in your pocket! [Everyone stares at him] What? I got a type. You knew this.

Dr. Psycho

Oh, I need a cigarette.

Dr. Psycho

[Fighting Wonder Woman] OW! That really hurt, you cunt! [Everything, including the Earth itself, comes to a shocked standstill]

Poison Ivy

[Watching the fight on TV] Holy shit!

Clayface

The name is Clayface, thespian extraordinaire recently portraying the juicy role of country boy bartending in the big city!

Dr. Psycho

I thought you were playing the role of literal piece of shit.

Clayface

Not yet. [Transforms into Doctor Psycho] NOW I'm a literal piece of shit!

Dr. Psycho

So who do you need me to mind-control to open the door?

Harley Quinn

No, no. No one. Just squeeze into the crawlspace, get into the house, and open it from the inside.

Dr. Psycho

Are you shitting me? I'm a genius telepath! Why're you wasting me on THIS?

Harley Quinn

You're the only thing small enough to fit!

Dr. Psycho

Got it. Sonofabitch!

Young Harley Quinn

I am honoured to be the valedictorian and I just want to thank absolutely no-one! Fuck all of you. Fuck the principal. Fuck the shop teacher who looks at my ass every time I walk out of class - yeah, I see you. Have a great fucking summer.

Doctor Psycho

I basically gave the same speech at my sister's wedding.

You think I care about you or your jolly green whore?

Poison Ivy

Okay, I'm standing right here.

I don't have time to give some review. I'm too busy getting cunnilingus from my new boyfriend Brad, who's amazing at it!

Dr. Psycho

[Scoffs] Only weak men do that. [Brad uses his tongue to sculpt a statue from ice cream] Oh, fucking hell!

Poison Ivy

[Impressed] Call me.

Poison Ivy

Quick side bar. How did this [i.e. being married to Giganta] work...sexually?

Dr. Psycho

Not great!

Clayface

What did you say to Black Manta to elicit such rage?

Dr. Psycho

Nothing racist...

Bane

What is taking your shark friend so long to plant the bomb?

Dr. Psycho

Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's because he's a shark and not a demolitions expert!

Clayface

They put us in the goon pool.

Harley Quinn

Ooh, that sounds fun.

Dr. Psycho

Fun? It's not the fun kind of pool!