Mabel Pines quotes from Gravity Falls

Mabel

They sure are taking their time in there.

Soos

Didn't Dipper say something about a monster?

Mabel

Oh, no. I thought he was joking.

Soos

You know Dipper's jokes are terrible!

Mabel

Uh, I dunno, guys. I'm not sure I wanna get involved in your weird mini-blood feud.

Dipper

Pst, Mabel. This is perfect. These guys control the course. Just tell them you'll give the sticker to whichever group does a better job of helping us win.

Mabel

I'm not sure, Dipper. I wanna beat Pacifica, but doesn't this seem like... cheating?

Dipper

Pacifica's rich, Mabel. She's cheating at life.

Pacifica

[to Sergei] How much you wanna bet they're no-shows?

Mabel

Looking for someone?

Pacifica

[sarcastic] Waiting in the dark? Not creepy at all.

Mabel

Hey, I found two tacos.

Pacifica

You're allowed to eat in the car?

Mabel

Yeah. The car is where secret surprise snacks happen. Want one?

Pacifica

Oh, I'm not supposed to take handouts.

Mabel

"Handouts"? It's called sharing. You do know what sharing is, right?

Pacifica

"Sha... shahring"?

Mabel

Just take it.

Mabel

He loves it. This play has to be flawless. Can we wait until after the show?

Dipper

[as a sock puppet] Mabel, you want me to be a sock puppet forever?!

Mabel

[laughs] I'm sorry. You look funny when you're mad.

Mabel

Okay, okay, okay, just take over for me till I get back. Little puppet face.

Bill

[in Dipper's body] How's about you hand that book over?

Mabel

No way, this is Dipper's! I'd never give it away!

Bill

Hmm, you didn't seem to have a problem taking it for your own play, or ditching him when he needed you. So come to your senses. Give me the book or your play is ruined. There it is. I mean, who would sacrifice everything they've worked for just for their dumb sibling?

Mabel

Dipper would.

Mabel

Don't worry. I've seen enough movies to know this is the part where the audience thinks it was all part of the show and loves it. Cue applause!

Mabel

Gabe. Stick around for the wrap party? We've got mini-quiches.

Don't speak to me, Mabel. You've made a mockery of my art form. Let's go, my loves. [leaves, kissing his puppets]

Dipper

Did he just make out with his puppets?

Mabel

I might've dodged a bullet there.

You did it, Shimmery Twinkleheart.

No, you did it, Cinnamon.

Mabel

[with Twinkleheart] Because you believed in yourself.

Dipper

Everything about this is bad.

Stan

Well, that just put me 90 minutes closer to death. Time you kids learned to watch the classics from my day.

Mabel

Ooh, old people movies. Get ready for references we don't understand and words we can't repeat.

Mabel

So anyway, can you make anything fall in love? Like that snake and that badger?

Hmm, ah gee, I dunno. That might be kinda hard to- [points at the animals] KABOOM! Match made.

Mabel

They're gonna make a "snadger"! How are you doing that?

Love potion, yo. I got it all: summer love, young love, anti-love. You just gotta put a little on your fingers, and pow!

Mabel

I need that potion. How much would it cost? And would you accept squirrels as payment?

Whoa-ho-ho! No way. You might think you know what's best for people, but this stuff can have major social consequences. That's why it can only be used by a serious expert.

Love God! Sign my face!

Only if you sign mine, baby, LET'S GET WEIRD!

Grenda, was it? I must speak with you. There is something about you - I can't get you out of my head. You're so bold and confident! I know you are probably out of my league, but, might I give you mein phone number?

I don't have a phone! Write it on my face!

Mabel

Whoa! Go, Grenda.

Candy

I guess we shouldn't have sold her short. I call bridesmaid.

Mabel

What? I call co-bridesmaid.

Stan

I wanted to say that you're gonna hear some bad things about me, and some of them are true, but trust me. Everything I've worked for, everything I care about, it's all for this family!

Dipper

Mabel, what if he's lying? This thing could destroy the universe! Listen to your head!

Stan

Look into my eyes, Mabel! You really think I'm a bad guy?

Dipper

He's lying! Shut it down NOW!

Stan

Mabel, please!

Ten. Nine.

Mabel

Grunkle Stan...

Six. Five.

Mabel

...I trust you.

Dipper

MABEL, ARE YOU CRAZY?! WE'RE ALL GONNA-!

One.

Dipper

What...? Who is that?

Stan

The author of the journals. [The author sheds his headscarf revealing his face; he looks identical to Stan] My brother.

Mabel

Is this the part where one of us faints?

Soos

Oh, I am so on it, dude. [Does so]

Ford

I've got some questions about all this myself, Stanley.

Dipper

Stanley?

Mabel

But... your name is Stanford.

Ford

Wait, you took my name? What have you been doing all these years, you knuckle-head?

Dipper

Yeah, Grunkle Stan, no more lies. You owe us some answers: What's the deal with this portal? Why did you keep this a secret?

Mabel

And what happened between you and your brother?

Soos

I hope all of this aligns exactly with my fan-fiction, Stan. If not, I will be very disappointed.

Stan

Finally, after all these long years of waiting, you're actually here. Brother!

Ford

[Punches him in the face]

Stan

Oh! Ow! What the heck was that for?

Ford

This was an insanely risky move: restarting the portal. Didn't you read my warnings?

Stan

Warnings, schmarnings. How's about maybe a thanks for saving you from what appears to be, I don't know, some kind of sci-fi sideburn dimension?

Ford

Thank you? You really think I'm gonna thank you after what you did thirty years ago?

Stan

What I did? Why, you ungrateful... [Tries to punch him but Ford ducks and grabs him] Don't expect me to go easy on you, just because you're family. [As Ford slams him to the ground] Ah!

Mabel

Hey, hi. Mabel here. Quick question: What the heck is going on here?!

Ford

Stan, you didn't tell me there were children down here. And some sort of large, hairless gopher?

Soos

Heh heh. I get that a lot.

Stan

They're your family, Poindexter. Shermie's grandkids.

Ford

I...have a niece and nephew? [Shakes Mabel's hand] Greetings. Do kids still say greetings? I haven't been in this dimension for a really long time.

Mabel

Whoa, a six-fingered handshake? It's a full finger friendlier than normal.

Ford

Heha, I like this kid. She's weird.

Dipper

I-I can't believe it... You're the author of the journals!

Ford

You've read my journals?

Dipper

I haven't just read them; I've lived them! I've been waiting for so long to meet you, I-I don't know what to say I have so many question I [Starts breathing heavily] OOH I THINK I'M GONNA THROW UP. [Mabel comes over and pats him on the back] Hmmpf! No-no, false alarm. Hmmpf! Just gotta ride it out.

Dipper

Mabel! You'll never guess what I found at the store today!

Mabel

Dogs! Dogs with hats!

Mabel

Well, I do like unicorns, and that hot elf looks promising. How do you play?

Mabel

And then we ride unicorns?

Dipper

Yes. And no. First we make a graph.

Mabel

Ugh, this is like Homework: The Game!

Mabel

Okay Grunkle Stan, are you ready for your first radio interview?

Stan

I got my mouth, don't I?