Mabel Pines quotes from Gravity Falls

Mabel

Don't get too comfortable, brother. I just made Stan an omelet shaped like his own face.

Stan

I have seen the face of beauty.

Mabel

[In Dipper's body] Hey, Grunkle Stan. Your face looks like a butt.

Stan

What?!

Mabel

Breaking stuff is so much fun, I am Dipper and I stink.

Stan

What's goin' on, Dipper? Ah, you're at that creepy age where you spy on girls, huh? Guess it's time you and me had a man-to-man talk - about the birds and the bees, you know?

Mabel

I—I should really be going-

Stan

No way out of it. Look, it all begins with this little fella, the pituitary gland. He may be little, but he has BIG PLANS...

Mabel

[screams]

Stan

[later; closing the book] And now you know where babies come from.

Mabel

Goodbye, childhood.

Mabel

SEV'RAL TIMEZ is playing at the the Gravity Falls Civic Center and Buffet.

Dipper

Ughh, Sev'Ral Timez? Aren't they that boy band that came a decade too late?

Oh Oh! Girl you got me actin' so Cray Cray! (Cray-Cray!) You say you won't be my baby! We're not threatening!

Dipper

Mabel, you know all those boy bands are fake - Right?

Wendy

Dipper's right. They're just a manufactured product of the bloated corporate music industry.

Mabel

You're making my dance sad.

Mabel

You guys can't ruin this for me. Mabel's got backup.

Hey guys.

Candy

Woo-Hoo.

Mabel

I'm ready for the greatest night of our live. [singing] "How many times am I gonna love ya?"

"SEV'RAL TIMEZ!"

Dipper

Uhhh, GIRLS.

Wendy

I know, Right?

Ohh, WHO goes there? Prepare to be danced at.

Step off Deep Chris. She's a lady. Don't disrespect her bro. Don't disrespect.

MY bad.

Chubby Z let's calm this boo by posin' for her, poster-style.

Mabel

Whoo! Trying hard not to let my brain explode. I've always wanted to meet you guys, But what was the deal with that scary chubb-chubb man?

Mr. Bratzman's our producer, Yo.

He genetically engineered us to be the perfect boy band, G.

But he keeps us in cages. That junk is straight brutal girl.

Mabel

That is straight brutal Chubby Z.

Our one dream is to escape into the REAL world - for real. Yo, I heard about these things called trees. I don't know what they are, but I wanna kiss one.

But we can't disobey Mr. Bratzman. He says he loves us.

Mabel

If he loved you, he'd set you free.

True dat, true dat.

That's a valid perspective.

Mabel

Let's go right now. Me and my friends can help you escape.

We're Masters of STEALTH!

Yo, You'd really do that for us beef?

Mabel

You can count on me. I'm sorry, did you just call me beef?

Mabel

Go, go. Chew that pant leg.

Stan

All right, that tears it. Outside, now.

Mabel

Grunkle Stan, no. You can't put Waddles outside. There's predators. And barbecuers.

Stan

That's just the natural order. It's not my fault your pig's potentially delicious.

Mabel

He should be inside like a person.

Stan

People don't roll around in their own filth - except for Soos.

Mabel

And we're the lesser for it.

Mabel

Grunkle Stan, I know you're not crazy about Waddles.

Stan

He's a fat, naked jerk.

Mabel

Waddles! Waddles! Oh, no! How did this happen? Grunkle Stan, you didn't put him outside?

Stan

What? No, I didn't put him anywhere. I'm not acting suspicious. You're acting suspicious! What's a pig?!

Stan

I should have put that pig outside ages ago.

Mabel

Wait, what did you just say?

Stan

Hm? What's that?

Mabel

You said the dinosaur flew INTO the house. [gasps]

Stan

No! Wait, uh, if you think about it-

Mabel

You put Waddles outside, then you lied to me about it! And now thanks to you, my pig could be dead! WADDLES COULD BE DEAD!

Stan

Look, he's an animal. He belongs outside.

Mabel

No, that's it. Grunkle Stan, I am never ever speaking to you again.

Stan

Look, you can't be serious.

Mabel

Oh, is someone talking right now? Because I can't hear them.

Stan

Kid.

Mabel

[plugging her ears and walking away from her uncle] La la la la la! I can't hear anyone. No one's talking to me.

Mabel

What if we told you we could find you a new queen? One even more beautiful than me.

Dipper

Her name is Gideon, and she has lovely white hair.

Hmmm, mature woman, huh? Shmebulock, get my cologne.

Shmebulock.

Is "Shmebulock" all you can say?

[nodding "yes"] Shmebulock.

Dipper

Hey, Grunkle Stan? Me and Mabel have been talking, And I think there's something we should finally tell you. This is a journal I found in the woods. [Hands Journal 3 to Stan] It talks about all the crazy stuff that goes on in Gravity Falls. Gideon nearly destroyed the whole town trying to find it. I don't know what it means, or who wrote it. But, after all we've been through, maybe you should finally know about it.

Stan

I'm glad you showed me this, Dipper. [laughs] Now I know where you've been getting it all from. Spookums and monsters. This kooky book has been filling your head with crazy conspiracies.

Dipper

But it's all real.

Stan

Haha. You gotta quit readin' this fantasy nonsense for your own good. Although some of these would make great attractions. Can't come up with this stuff. Mind if I borrow this?

Dipper

Wait, no. Grunkle Stan.

Stan

"Magic book." [laughs more] Ridiculous. [leaves with the book]

Dipper

Stan, I need it!

Mabel

Dipper, you don't need that book! Don't you see? On your own you defeated a giant robot with nothing but your bare hands. You're a hero whether you've got that journal or not.

Dipper

Whoa. Thanks, Mabel. I still want it back though.

Mabel

I'm sure you'll get it back. What would a boring old man like Stan want with that book anyway?

Mabel

This karaoke machine has all the best songs - "We Built This Township on Rock and Roll," "Danger Lane to Highway Town," [gasps] "Taking Over Midnight" by Ampersand-dra!

Stan

Listen kid, you do not want to hear this voice sing. Trust me.

Mabel

Grunkle Stan, karaoke isn't about sounding good. It's about sounding terrible together.

Mabel

Dipper, what is the one thing I asked you not to do tonight?

Dipper

Raise the dead.

Mabel

And what did you do?

Dipper

Raise the dead.

Wendy

Oh, man. Was this place built in the past or the future?

Soos

Yeah, this room is way creepy.

Mabel

Not as creepy as Dipper's internet history.