Cat! Cat! Cat! Ew!
You don't have a cat, Jenny.
My name is Blair.
You don't have anyone. [Smirking]
But I'm Blair! I'M BLAIR!!!
[Blair gets woken up by Dorota from her dream]
“The Blair Bitch Project” · Season 1, Episode 14
In this episode: Serena van der Woodsen (6), Nate Archibald (5), Blair Waldorf (4), Chuck Bass (3), Jenny Humphrey (2), Vanessa Abrams (2), Dorota (1), Erik van der Woodsen (1)
What's happening?
You have bad dream and you're sleeping with your chocolate.
Lady Godiva, my only friend.
What are you doing?
EErik
I'm hiding from my valet. He wanted to put my socks on me this morning. Your servants are very attentive.
You should meet Brigita.
No, no, he should not meet Brigita! He's fourteen! Avoid this person.
Do I have to remind you, Serena, that you USED to have a sense of humor?
No! [gives death stare]
Lily [to Serena]: Oh, don't put your dirty package on the table.
If I had a dime for every time I've heard that...
[Erik chuckles at Chuck's comment]
Constance bad-girl-turned-good, Serena van der Woodsen, moves in with, Chuck Bass.
[Blair laughs]
B, I say this out of love. But you being a bitch is what got dairy in your hair in the first place, okay? Be nice and neutral and things will swing back to normal. You're the Queen Bee, just let nature take its course.
What does she think she's doing?
She's giving you the perfect opportunity for niceness. C'mon, be nice!
Serena, I know you're doing something with Dan tonight. But Blair, um, we're all going to Butter and I was wondering if you wanted to join us?
She'd be delighted. YES! [Serena claps for excitement] BUTTER!
Great.
Great! [Serena smiling happily]
Very nice.
Thank you.
Hey, so, I may have told Blair you told me the truth about her and Chuck. And I'm sure she didn't applaud to that. Look, you don't know what you're dealing with here.
I'm not scared of Blair, Nate.
No, I'm not talking about... I'm talking about your new circle. I mean, they've been friends with Blair since forever and look what they're doing to her! You fall out of line, what do you think is going to happen to you?
Well, then, I won't fall out of line.
I'm not saying you're going to... Look, just, you're not like those girls, Jenny.
That's weird, Nate. You'd think they're my friends, so we'd have some stuff in common.
Okay. Well, I will give you this - you've got good aim.
How do you manage to get out of everything unscathed?
Because I'm nice. You should try it sometime. C'mon, um, compliment me, tell me my hair looks beautiful.
But your hair looks disgusting. Did you even shower today?
Next time your sister's band is in town, I want front row seats.
[laughs] You don't strike me as a lesbian punk fan.
You know, I'm almost offended by how much you underestimate me, Miss Abrams.
You like punk?
Oh, I didn't hear you... You said punk? Because you had me at lesbian.
[laughs] Right. Didn't see that coming.
Think your parents would adopt an seventeen-year-old?
[Vanessa laughs]
Maybe?
So...
So...
I guess this is goodnight, then?
I don't live here, you know.
No, I know.
I'm just grabbing my laptop.
Oh. [Nate looks as if he really wants to kiss Vanessa]
Do you want to come inside?
Umm... [looks inside shop]
[awkwardness between Vanessa and Nate]
God, this does feel like that doorstep moment.
And what moment would that be?
[Nate looks at Vanessa and kisses her]
[To Chuck who is in her bathroom, sitting on the sink with the water in the shower running] What are you doing?
Alright, Ladies, my sister needs to shower. Make room. [Serena looks at the empty shower stall] I'm just messing with you.
[Sees his discarded marijuana joints] I can't believe you lit up in my bathroom!
Well if I lit up in mine, the folks would know it was me, sis.
Oh okay, let's get one thing straight. Our parents may be insisting on blending households but I am not your sister. I do not share any of your DNA, nor do I ever wish to.
Then I suggest you get new hand towels.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gossip Girl pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.