Brittany Pierce quotes from Glee

Brittany

I'm just going to dance. And then all your dates are going to ignore you and come dance with me. So, your dates are really my dates.

Brittany

I was sure that our Nationals trophy would grow over the summer.

Brittany

I'm also a unicorn. Maybe a bi-corn. Either way, I'm starting to believe in my own magic.

Brittany

Is this what having a stroke feels like? Because I like it...

Brittany

Tornadoes are nature's most destructive force. These violent storms have ravaged America, crippling communities all across our land. Isn't it time we take a stand? If you honor me with being your next class president, I will make tornadoes illegal at McKinley, keeping you and your families at our school safe from their murderous rampages. Also, on Tuesdays, uh, I pledge to go topless.

Brittany

I'm really surprised that Jesus Christ Superstar has chosen to end the world this way instead of the way he killed off the dinosaurs which was a global yeast infection.

Brittany

I'm the angel that torches stuff with her laser eyes!

Brittany

Lord Tubbington snuck out and I found him at Arby's.

Brittany

Lord Tubbington's poops are crispy and delicious.

Brittany

Leprechauns aren't real. I realize that now.

Will

Brittany, take it away.

Brittany

Take what away?

Brittany

Did you see what Rachel was wearing today?

Santana'

Oh, I know! She looked like Pippi Longstocking, but like, Israeli.

Kurt

What do boys taste like?

Brittany

Usually dip…sometimes, it tastes like burgers. Or my armpits – kissing my armpits is a really big turn-on for me.

Burt

And if things get serious, use protection.

Brittany

Does he mean like a burglar alarm?

Finn

This so isn't you.

Tina

I feel like an Asian Branch Davidian.

Will

Tina, are there any other looks you can try?

Santana

Biker chick?

Finn

Cowgirl?

Mercedes

Hoodrat.

Quinn

Computer programmer?

Brittany

Cross-country skier.

Catholic schoolgirl?

Brittany

Happy Meal, no onions. Or a chicken.