Gilmore Girls · Season 7
[Lorelai and Babette are carrying a tree in a basket, the phone is ringing]
I'm making a jungle.
A jungle?
Hey! Is that your inside phone?
Yeah, well, I'll call them back.
So anyway, I got this negligee with a kind of snake pattern...
Oh, this is heavy!
All in all,I think I'd rather be in Philadelphia.
Hmm... Ronald Reagan.
Quoting W.C. Fields.
So I told Paris, I don't care if it would theoretically increase my chances of getting a grant to go study in Russia, I'm not willing to pretend to be an accomplished rhythmic gymnast.
How do you pretend to be a rhythmic gymnast anyway?
I don't even know. I mean, you whirl around some ribbons, balance a ball on your nose?
Are you kidding me? Prana. Chi. Life force. Whatever you call it he's got it in spades. Sexy men like him often do. That's what makes him so sexy. They're ripe with life! He's like Warren Beatty your dad. Or Sean Connery. Or who's that one I always found so sexy with the glasses, the politician? Henry Kissinger!
Hey, Rory.
Hey, Mom.
You know, glad to see you doing so well with Logan. I’m happy that you are happy.
Thanks!
He’s not half bad, that kid. He’s almost okay.
Yeah, he’s all right.
Just so you know, that young guy who's been visiting Mrs. Santiago in 236, not her son, he's her boyfriend!
No!
But he's at least 20 years younger than she is.
32 according to the night nurse.
What could they possibly have to talk about?
I don't think they're doing a lot of talking if you know what I mean..
[to Rory] Huntzberger? Between the women and the drinking that kid was on the Colin Farrell freeway about to pull over onto the Robert Downey rest stop.
[to Rory] Oh you broke him. You broke him hard. You can open the gate and he's not going to bolt. You can kick him with a spur and he's not going to spooke. You own him...Hey let's make them go out and get tattoos. It'll be like we branded them.
[singing] They called them the Diamond Dogs. Whoo hoo hoo. Bow wow.
We didn't need a song that necessarily had the dogs in the lyrics, right Michel?
Whatever. David Bowie sounds like a hoot.
More Princess Diana, less dog.
So you want Elton John?
We were thinking very dignified. Like Bach. Mozart.
Celine Dion.
Oh please...don't make me do that.
After all My Heart Will Go On was Chin-chin's favorite song.
Ah well then there you go. We'll just find uh My Heart...Belongs to Daddy...My heart belongs to me, My heart belongs to you, My heart can't make up it's mind.
How about Tears in heaven? That's a wicked song.
My heart is crying for you...My heart is waiting...My heart stood still...People very interested in this whole heart thing.
I Will Always Love You...I mean it's got the cheese factor but its still at least a legitimate...
There's no such thing as a non-alcoholic cocktail.
There most certainly is, it's called a mock-tail. I can offer you a Shirley Temple or a Roy Rogers.
Or how about a Howdy Doody or a Captain Kangaroo... [takes a sip of the mock-tail] Oh, that's a strong one Mom, you know I'm driving.
Tastes great.
You know what else tastes great? Rum.
He's definitely moved out. Last time I saw the "beagle"s car in the driveway was days ago. Then I saw the movers truck. So only the "hen" lives there now.
So did the "hen" break up with the "beagle" or the "beagle" break up with the "hen"?
I don't know.
The poor "hen".
She's been through so much. I was kinda getting used to him...the "beagle".
He's not right for her. He's a "beagle" you know. And "beagles" belong with "beagles".
And the "hen" belongs with the "rooster".
Maybe.
Well, does the "rooster" know about the "hen" and the "beagle".
Oh yeah, Esther Tilly was in here yesterday, blabbing her big mouth off.
Oh, how did he take it. Did you see his face?
Oh yeah, but you know the "rooster", it's like looking at Stonehenge. I don't know what he thinks.
Oh, I hope he gets his act together because I think they're perfect.
I think the "hen" belongs with someone else. Like a "penguin" or an "ostrich".
I can no longer sit here listening to this.
Oh good. Go sit over there.
I'm sorry but I can't in good conscience let this perverse conversation continue. Are you insinuating that a hen could mate with an ostrich? Because even ignoring the question of biological feasibility, it's completely morally reprehensible...How do you expect her to lay those eggs!?!?
Would you like a drink?
Ooooh, I thought the house was dry.
Vodka or scotch?
It's a regular speakeasy.
It's like a canoe.
What's like a canoe?
Life. You're just paddling along in a canoe.
Mother have you been in a canoe? I just can't picture you in a canoe.
Lorelai, your father and I have been paddling a canoe together for years, only now, he's dropped it. He just dropped it. Not only that but now the canoe is going in circles. Without your father there I'm paddling and the canoe is going in circles, and the harder I paddle the faster the canoe spins and it's hard work and I'm getting tired.
Dizzy I would think.
You are in a kayak. You know how to do all of this.
How does that put me in a kayak?
Kayaks have paddles on both ends. You steer it by yourself.
You're independent. You provide for yourself.
I am kayak. Hear me roar.
Yes but Mr. Nash, you are forgetting about the first pancake phenomenon.
Eh?
Yes the first pancake you know? You always throw it out...
Why do you throw out the first pancake?
Cause the griddles too hot it gets burned.
Oh my God. Next year no excuses. We are making you that audition tape for Top Chef.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gilmore Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
