Karl Marx has really come alive for me today. I didn't know what he was yammering about before, and now it just seems so obviously wrong that those who control capital should make their fortunes off the labor of the working class.
S6We've Got Magic to Do
I bet the Romanovs never RSVPed either. They got theirs, capitalist scum!
Wow, you're always so Desmond Tutu-y. This is refreshing.
Now let’s talk about your money. You were a two-bit gold-digger fresh off the bus from Hicksville when you met Mitchum at whatever bar you happened to stumble into. And what made Mitchum decide to chose you out of the pack of women he was bedding at the time I’ll never know. But hats off to you for bagging him. He’s still a playboy you know. Well of course you know! That would explain why your weight goes up and down thirty pounds every other month. But that’s your cross to bear. These are ugly realities, no one needs to talk about them. Those kids are staying together for as long as they like. You won't stop them.
S6Welcome to the Dollhouse
We are on Sores and Boils Alley.
Why can't it be something that doesn't ooze and run? What about bunions? Bunions are ok right? Sort of onions, mixed with buns, sorta appetizing if you don't think about it too much.
So, what's going on in the world?
Nothing...
Nothing?
Good. Nothing good. There's absolutely nothing positive going on anywhere in the world. How could that be?
That's why I don't read the paper anymore.
You will mine. I am starting my own. The Good News Daily -- nothing but good news every day.
Sounds good.
"No civil war in Canada" -- big article. "Cars drive down road without incident" -- front-page news. "Puppies -- how cute are they?" In-depth exposé. And the subscription is free. How happy is that?
I'm in a better mood.
A jungle gym license. If I want kids to play on my urn, no one's gonna tell me I need a license.
Want some coffee?
I'm beyond coffee.
Beyond coffee. This is big.
I'm fueled by my righteous indignation.
S6Twenty-One Is the Loneliest Number
We were gonna go to Atlantic City. We were going to sit at a Blackjack table at 11:59 and order martinis. We were gonna play 21 when she turned 21. Then we were going to buy 21 things. And there's a thing about 21 guys that wouldn't be appropriate since the engagement, but it was a good plan.
I'm so sorry to bother you, Rory - hello, Logan!
Hello, Emily.
Rory, could you check your closet? The maid hung up your dry cleaning today, and I am missing a blouse and I want to know whether or not to add this to the list of reasons I'm firing her.
Of course, I'll be right back. [She heads into the bedroom.]
Thank you, Rory. I'm so exhausted with incompetent people, I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like every person I hire immediately gets hit in the head with a mallet on the way out of the employment office!
RBReverend Boatwright
Your virtue is a gift...it is a gift you can give to only one man…If you give it away too soon and to the wrong man, then when the right one does come along, you have no gift to give. You'll have to buy him a sweater.
Listen, reverend. I really appreciate you taking the time out of what I assume is a busy day to come here and talk to me about... all of this, but, um, I'm afraid the ultimate-gift ship has sailed.
RBReverend Boatwright
What?
A while ago. It's probably in Fiji by now.
(commenting the "Rory" drink) This tastes pink. Like really pink. It's really bad; it's like drinking a My Little Pony.
Well, there they are, the two most lovely ladies in the room.
Emily [glares]: Hello, Logan. [To Rory] I have to check on your cake. [She leaves.]
Huh. Is it me, or could the penguins march through here?
She's probably mad because she found out we're having sex.
She what?
Rory [shrugs]: She found out we're having sex.
How the hell'd she find that out?
Rory [sweetly]: I told her minister.
But - but, why would you do that?
Because - he was going on and on about my virtue being a gift, and now you have it, so I'm going to have to buy the next guy a sweater! I just wanted him to stop.
And all this without a drink in my hand.
Come on, let's get you a Rory.
Ah. Dealing with this family is stressful.
Oh, tell me about it. And once you've had that drink, I can tell you how I've been moved out of the pool house and into a room right next to my grandparents. So from now on, we'll have to have sex in our invisible suits. [Logan's head falls.] Two Rorys, please.
Does your grandfather know also?
Oh, yeah.
Logan [to the bartender]: Make it four.
Dad?
She's having sex, Lorelai. She's having sex under my roof. I paid 40 thousand dollars to redecorate her sex-house. I bought a her a sex mattress. Her sex-box springs.I provided everything she needs to waste her life.
Dad, Rory having sex is not your fault. Really, she was having sex way before the big renovation.
I feel so much better now.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gilmore Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.