So, what's going on in the world?
Nothing...
Nothing?
Good. Nothing good. There's absolutely nothing positive going on anywhere in the world. How could that be?
That's why I don't read the paper anymore.
You will mine. I am starting my own. The Good News Daily -- nothing but good news every day.
Sounds good.
"No civil war in Canada" -- big article. "Cars drive down road without incident" -- front-page news. "Puppies -- how cute are they?" In-depth exposé. And the subscription is free. How happy is that?
I'm in a better mood.
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