Hey. My mom's not wearing any underwear.
You're just being selfish, Luke.
Still they don't notice. I can't take it anymore.
We're talking about the spirit of fall.
[Lorelai gets the coffee herself and lifts the cover off the muffins.]
What kind of muffin do you want?
You know where you can stick the spirit of fall?
[Luke hands Lorelai a utensil to pick up the muffins.]
Here, don't use your hands.
I don't think you're taking me seriously.
What gave you that idea? [to Lorelai, who is leaving] No tip?
Oh, yeah, here's a tip: serve your customers.
Here's another: don't sit on any cold benches.
[At the grocery store, Lorelai tells Luke that bagger Dean has given Rory her first kiss.]
That Lothario over there has wormed his way into my daughter's heart — and mouth — and for that, he must die!
You can't kill the bag boy.
It's double coupon day — you'll bring down the town.
[Lorelai invites Dean to Gilmore movie night and then retires to the kitchen to let the kids be alone. Shortly, a panicked Rory enters.]
Mom! What are you doing in here?
[idly flipping though a magazine] Trying to find the best bathing suit for my bust size?
[concerned] Why? What happened? Did the bad boy try something?
He's sitting there, and he's watching the movie, and he's perfect, and he smells really good!
He smells really good, and he looks amazing, and I am stupid! I said "Thank you"!
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You… you said "Thank you"?
Wai… He kissed you again? What is he, just out of prison or something?
No, not now. Yesterday? At the store?
Oh, all right. Strike the prison comment. So wait… he kissed you, and you said "Thank you"?
[sweetly] Well, that was very polite.
No, it was stupid! And I don't know what I'm doing here, you're sitting here in the kitchen… what kind of chaperone are you?
Me? I'm not trying to be a chaperone. I'm trying to be a girlfriend.
Well, switch gears, 'cause I'm freaking out here!
[Lorelai smiles.]
You really like him, don't you?
Well, okay then. Just calm down.
I just don't want to do or say anything else that's gonna be remotely moronic.
I'm afraid once your heart is involved, it all comes out in Moron.
Michel, it's the first snowfall of the season. It's very lucky! Make a wish.
Oh, you're not supposed to say it out loud.
[Michel answers the phone.]
[dreamily to herself] The world changes when it snows. It's quiet. Everything softens.
[Emily has called Lorelai to warn her of the heavy snowfall.]
A bad storm is heading your way. It's already hitting us here.
Well, don't panic. I'll get the ark, you get the animals.
I just sent Lance to pick up Rory at school. The roads are terrible — black ice everywhere. It's just a mess out there. I hate this kind of weather. So, anyhow, what time will you get here?
Well, uh, gee, Mom, I don't know. Let me see… black ice, treacherous roads. I'll just put on my red, white, and blue leotard, grab my golden lasso, and fly the invisible plane on over?
Well, if it's as bad as you say it is, I don't see how I can get there.
Well, I guess it'll just be the three of us then.
And you know, Rory should probably spend the night tonight also.
And if it's still bad tomorrow…
Mom? Why don't you wait to see what the weather does before you fill out a change of address card for her?
[The elder Gilmores, entertaining Rory, are left without the services of their cook, who is snowed in.]
This is a serious problem. These Friday dinners are the only proper food that child eats all week.
Rory? Are you in any way malnourished, or in need of some international relief organization to recruit a celebrity to raise money on your account?
[Emily is waiting on a wounded Lorelai, against the latter's wishes. She sets a plate of food down.]
Mom, I think… somebody already ate that.
That is a mashed banana on toast.
I used to make this all the time for you when you were a little girl.
Yes! Whenever you got sick, I made this.
You sure it wasn't the other way around?
[Emily preparing to take a picture of Rory in her dance dress]
Okay, Rory, come in here please.
[walks in with a bib on her neck, eating tacos, still wearing her boots] Hey Grandma!
[not amused with what she saw, telling Lorelai] She has lived with you too long.
You have to look at what a gift says to the other person, not to you. Remember two years ago, I got my mom that perfume?
Okay, to me that said, "Hey Mom, you work hard, you deserve something fancy". Now to my mother, it said, "Hey Mom, here's some smelly sex juice, the kind I use to lure boys with", and resulted in me being sent to Bible camp all summer.
