[Rory, Lorelai and Gigi are making popcorn-and-cranberry strands for their Christmas tree. Rory and Lorelai are talking about the letter Luke has asked Lorelai to write]
OK, so what guidelines did he give you?
None. None, no guidelines whatsoever. I'm supposed to write a character reference, so I thought I'd reference his character.
Sounds like you're on the right track.
No, I'm not, because it turns out I can't write.
Oh, sure you can.
No, I can't. I stare at the blank page and I just keep staring and staring and eventually I have to get up and lubricate my eyeballs, otherwise they'll fall out of my head like raisins. [Gigi giggles]
Well, are you using a pen? You can't just stare at the paper, you have to have a writing implement of some kind.
[holds up her strand] Look!
Very pretty, honey.
Hey, what a good job.
You know what I really like? Your cranberry-to-popcorn ratio -- Rory's more of a one-to-one kind of gal, but I'm like you, I like a lot of cranberry, a little popcorn thrown in for flair. [aside to Rory] Yours is pretty too.
Thank you.
I have a writing implement. The problem is that everything I write just sounds so schmucky.
I'm sure that's not true...we're running low on cranberries.
[mocking herself] "Luke Danes is a highly regarded member of this community." Ugh! "Not an ill word can be spoken of Mr. Danes." It's like I'm some documentary narrator from the History Channel. And you know what phrase I keep using?! "Stand-up." "Luke Danes is a stand-up guy. He's an upstanding member of Stars Hollow. A real stand-up citizen." People are gonna think he's turned into a comedian.
Sounds like you're overthinking this. Maybe if you just put pen to paper --
I tried that. I thought, I'll just sit down and write whatever comes. No judgment, no inner critic -- boy, was that a bad idea.
Really? Why?
Because my brain is a wild jungle full of scary gibberish. "I'm writing a letter. I can't write a letter. Why can't I write a letter? I'm wearing a green dress. I wish I was wearing my blue dress. My blue dress is at the cleaners'. 'The Germans wore gray, you wore blue.' Casablanca. Casablanca's such a good movie. Casablanca. The White House. Bush. Why don't I drive a hybrid car? I should really drive a hybrid car. I should really take my bicycle to work. Bicycle, unicycle, unitard, hockey puck, rattlesnake monkey monkey underpants." [Gigi giggles]
"Hockey puck rattlesnake monkey monkey underpants"?
Exactly! That's what I'm saying. It's a big bag of weird in there. So I think, well, I need inspiration. I need a muse. Perhaps I need The Muse. Maybe it would help if Sharon Stone would appear to me in an alarming kaftan and coo inspirational words in my ear.
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