Hey, look, a fog is rolling in.
No, that's just the Jamaican pride float.
Looks like it's speeding up.
Oh, no! It's within munching distance of the Doritos float!
S6Ghost in the Machines
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to associate myself with a true hero. Mr. Fry, allow me to present you with the keys to the city. This one's for the deadbolt, this is for the top lock... I think this one's for the knob. The city's in a bad neighborhood. Care to say a few words, son?
Uh... Heroes don't do drugs! Except for Drugman, I guess.
Last time you went to the suicide booth, you ended up dating it for six months.
How is Lynn, by the way?
Livin' in Oregon with her crazy mother!
All I know is I've got a ghost that needs busting. [dials a number.]
Who you gonna call?
Gho— [interrupted by a beep.]
FVFemale voice
The number you have dialed has been lame since 1989.
S6Law and Oracle
Hello. I'd like to enroll in Police Academy.
OOfficer
You think you can just waltz in here with no pants and become a cop?
That's the plan.
OOfficer
I like you, kid. I got no pants on either.
I can see that. You're quite a bit taller than me.
OOfficer
Welcome to Police Academy. [both shake hands]
COChief O'Manahan
I'll make it short and sweet, because I'm PMSing like a lumberjack. Police academy is not easy. You're gonna get your boobs scuffed. But if you've got the vulva to stick it out, you ladies will make excellent policemen.
Sir, yes, ma'am!
What's in the box Schrodinger?
ESErwin Schrodinger
A cat, some poison and a caesium atom.
The cat, is it alive or dead? Alive or dead!?
Answer him fool.
ESErwin Schrodinger
It's a superposition of both states until you open it and collapse the wave function.
Says you. [Fry opens the box and a cat leaps out at him.]
There's also a lot of drugs in there.
And to think he was only a few days from retirement.
What happened to him?
He took a early retirement, damn.
S6The Silence of the Clamps
PProsecutor
Isn't it true, Mr. X, that you are slandering this innocent mafioso to distract from your own felonious past, including the crime you made up yourself called burglararsonlarsony?
That's a wholly owned trademark of Rodriguez Crime Concepts Inc.! Besides, I'm not on trial here.
J7Judge 724
That's true. You're on trial in courtroom 3. [presses button, wall spins Bender to another courtroom with a female version of 724]
J8Judge 802
You are charged with two counts of burglararsonlarsony. How do you plead?
Not innoguiltycent! [reaches, presses button, returning to 724's courtroom]
CClamps
Hey, scuttle on home. Dis ain't none of your business, slick.
My name isn't Slick, it's Zoidberg. JOHN (beep)ing ZOIDBERG!
BWBilly West
Sorry mister, but I'm no Bender. I'm just a simple farmer. Name's Billy West.
[laughs] "Billy West". What a stupid, phony, made up name.
Who likes good news?
[the crew raise their hands]
Everyone? Then, good news, everyone!
S6Yo Leela Leela
WVWarden Vogel
Sometimes you gotta choose between eating and reading, so they ate the books.
LALeela as Lady Buggle
Doingg, don't lick things that don't wanna be licked.
FAFry as Doingg
But how do I know what to lick and what not to lick?
LALeela as Lady Buggle
It's very simple.
[Techno music starts playing]
LALeela as Lady Buggle
[singing] If it's alive, don't lick it.
ZAZoidberg as Feffernoose
[also singing] Like a horse, a turtle or a cricket.
BABender as Garbly
I like turtles!
Thanks, guys, but lets realistic. We all know that any TV show that's even slightly good gets cancelled. Sometimes two or three times.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.