Futurama quotes

Fry

What's so wonderful about Leela being normal? The rest of us aren't normal and that's what makes us great. Like Dr. Zoidberg: He's a weird monster who smells like he eats garbage and does.

Zoidberg

Damn right!

Fry

The Professor's a senile, amoral crackpot.

Fry

Hermes is a Rastafarian accountant.

Hermes

Tally me banana.

Fry

Amy's a klutz from Mars.

Amy

Sploops!

Farnsworth

And, Fry, you've got that brain thing.

Fry

I already did! So, Leela, do you wanna be like us? Or do you wanna be like Adlai with no severe mental or social problems whatsoever?

Leela

That's the dumbest question I ever heard!

Daddy Bender, we're hungry.

Bender

What's with you kids? Every other day it's food, food, food. [pause] Alright, I'll get you some stupid food.

Can we have Bender Burgers again?

Bender

No! The cat shelter's on to me.

You're under arrest for child cruelty, child endangerment, depriving children of food, selling children as food, and misrepresenting the weight of livestock!

Fry

[after Leela says that she was fine the way she was before] Yaaaaaaaaaay!

Leela

Shut up, Fry.

I am Singing Wind, Chief of the Native Martians.

Zapp Brannigan

Take me to your leader!

Moving along...

Zapp Brannigan

[introducing himself] I am the man with no name. Zapp Brannigan at your service.

You must smoke peace pipe, and you must do it peacefully. Or we'll kill you.

Kif

Well, it's just really that I don't feel that--

Zapp Brannigan

Don't be such a chicken, Kif. Teenagers all smoke and they seem pretty on-the-ball.

Zapp Brannigan

I didn't realize you were bringing your girlfriend Lieutenant. [Snickers]

Kif

[sighs] She won't leave me alone.

Zapp Brannigan

Did I say "girlfriend"? She sounds more like a wife!

Leela

Wow, look at that: Olympus Mons, the tallest volcano in the solar system.

Fry

Where?

Leela

Right in front of you.

Fry

Oh. Oh!

Anyway, make yourselves at home.

Dr. Zoidberg

Don't mind if I already did. By the way, do you have any more of this Dom Pérignon bubble bath? There was only enough to fill the tub halfway.

Prof. Farnsworth

That sounds very dangerous. Someone could get killed. [pointing] Fry, Leela, Bender...

Bender

[shaking fist] Damn you, old man!

Zapp Brannigan

Now remember Kif, the quickest way to a girl's bed is through her parents. Have sex with them and you're in.

Kif

Well, sir, I'm a little nervous about meeting her parents.

Zapp Brannigan

Of course you are. You're meek and uninteresting.

Kif

I love it out here, Amy. I feel so manly. I have a blister, I-I spit! A-And of course, I tell no one my feelings.

Amy

But you still have them, right?

Kif

Oh, yes. But I keep them inside until I can write them in my diary.

Amy

Ah, it's a wonderful night.

Kif

It sure is. I could just lie here beside you staring at the sky all night.

Amy

I can't! [She kisses him and the ground shakes] What's that?

Kif

Maybe we just made love!

Amy

Thanks for saving my life, Kif. You're my hero.

Kif

Oh, you're kind. But your parents still don't like me.

Amy

Well globviously! But if they liked you then I wouldn't. Don't you know anything about girls?

Kif

Dear diary, I just made love for the second time!

Fry

Let me guess. He thinks he's Abraham Lincoln.

Well, he's supposed to, but he has multiple personalities. All of them Lincoln.

I was born in 200 log cabins.