Turanga Leela quotes from Futurama

Leela

It wasn't unavoidable! You just had to stop cutting my spine when I yelled, "Stop! You're cutting my spine!"

Fry

Stop complaining. My body rejected your liver and now I have Garfield Syndrome. I hate Mondays.

Leela

Once and for all, Fry, even though it's the future, most objects are still just objects. Not Aliens who look like objects.

Fry

So my efforts to establish diplomatic relations with the cactus people were doomed from the start.

My God. I've never seen such a gruesome shark attack. Especially this far inland.

Leela

It wasn't a shark. It was an awful, incompetent doctor.

Wow. He must've been a total Zoidberg.

Leela

Don't you ever wonder about the future?

Fry

Well, sure, but you're always in it.

Fry

Also, sometimes Terminators.

Prof. Farnsworth

Oh my, there's a frog on a bump on this log that I found in a hole at the bottom of the sea.

Leela

And that's the ultimate secret of the universe?

Prof. Farnsworth

Apparently so. Wait! There's a snail on the tail of the frog on the bump on this log that I found in a hole on the bottom of the sea. The snail itself is composed of cells, molecules, atoms...

Fry

Pfff! Those things don't rhyme!

Prof. Farnsworth

Things only rhyme below ten to the minus five angstroms, you dope!

Leela

What is that box, you old witch?

Prof. Farnsworth

Ha ha ha ha! I'll never tell you! It's a deep space emotion detector.

Prof. Farnsworth

The detector detects that you are impressed.

Prof. Farnsworth

Of course! Having no mouths or ears they can only communicate through motions!

Fry

Or perhaps by odors.

Bender

That is how you communicate.

Hahahahahahaha!

Leela

Aw, he's so cute. Wait, no, he isn't. He looks like Bender!

Bender

Oh, no, no, no! No way am I that kid's dad!

Wipe my tiny, metal ass.

Bender

Ah, crap.

Fry

I hope you're not too mad at me, Leela. For tearing your arm off and all.

Leela

I can't be mad, I'm on way too many painkillers. Plus, you were willing to sacrifice yourself so I could live. I mean you failed miserably, but you're only person who loves me enough to try.

Fry

My lucky pants!

Hermes

They don't look so lucky to me.

Fry

They are too lucky! I was wearing them when I found a dime in my ear, when I got a free subscription to Redbook, and when I first met Leela.

Leela

Aw! Also, oh, Lord.

Fry

Also, they're my only pants.

Bender

You wore the same pants for a thousand years? No wonder they made a run for it.

Leela

This is crazy! You're from the future?

Yes. I was sent back from the year 3028 to prevent Nixon from getting elected.

Fry

I was sent forward from the year 2000, but you don't hear me gassing on about it.

Leela

[to Calculon] Now, your only chance is a classic death scene, one with a lot of thy's and thou's.

Bender

Voíla! The tragic end of "Rome-o and Julie-t."

Leela

That's Romeo and Juliet, dummy...by Will-I-Am Shakespeare.

Leela

Keep your door unlocked tonight.

Fry

But McGruff the Crime Dog says... Oh!

Leela

Professor, there's nothing wrong with Nectar. It's all natural.

So are carrots, but you don't see me injecting them between my toes!

Zoidberg

You don't understand. He was the only one who cared enough to insult me.

Leela

I insult you, you fat sack.

Zoidberg

Sure, when it's convenient.