Philip J. Fry quotes from Futurama

Bender

Oh no! I forgot this is a hover-bridge!

Leela

And I forgot this isn't a hover-car!

Fry

Is any of that a problem?

Zoidberg

Not if you've lived a life without regret! [screams in terror]

Fry

So, Leela, how about a romantic ride in one of those swan boats? They're kinda dangerous, but I finally mastered them.

Leela

Those aren't swan boats, they're swans.

Fry

Oh. That explains these boat eggs.

Fry

Put me on, Professor. I wanna show Leela my skills.

Prof. Farnsworth

Hmm. Will said skills pay the bills?

Leela

All right, cool your jets, hot shot.

Fry

Come on, Leela. Why won't you go out with me? We both know there's something there.

Leela

No, I mean cool your jets. You're melting Bender's face.

Fry

That's how I must have done it! I moved the stars themselves to write her a love note in the sky.

Leela

[on intercom] Detonation in three, two, one.

Fry

No!

Fry

Did you see it? Did you see it?

Bender

The explosion?

Fry

No, not the explosion!

Leela

Then what?

Fry

[quietly] Nothing.

Fry

How can you guys be so blasé? Here we are in the year three-hundred-or-so, yet you're just sitting around like it's the boring time I came from.

Prof. Farnsworth

Boring? Wasn't that the period when they cracked the human genome, and boy bands roamed the earth?

Leela

Hey, you know what might be a hoot?

Prof. Farnsworth

No! Why would I know that?

Leela

Let's take the rest of the morning off and take Fry to do everything he ever wanted to do.

Fry

Everything?

Leela

Except that.

Fry

Far out! So there really is an infinite number of universes?

Prof. Farnsworth

No, just the two.

Can I interest you in Gwyneth Paltrow?

Fry

Nah, I read in Newsweek that she drinks human blood.

Fry

Oh, Lucy! You're just like I always thought you'd be from your movies.

My personality is mathematically derived from my movies, proportionally weighted by box office receipts.

Fry

Aaawww... you say the CUTEST things!

Leela

Oh, put down the binoculars, Fry. The wall of that strip club isn't going to collapse twice in one day.

Fry

I know, and I've grown to accept that.

Fry

Look, the players who broke the various color barriers.

Bender

When will man learn that all races are equally inferior to robots?

Fry

Dearly Beloved, we are here today to remember Bender, taken from us in the prime of life; when he was crushed by a runaway semi, driven by the Incredible Hulk.

Bender

Aww, you knew my favorite cause of death.

Leela

Impressive. Who's building it?

You.

Leela

Say again?

You are now slaves of the great Pharaoh Hermenthotip. Guards!

Fry

Call it a hunch but I've got a bad feeling about this.

Fry

You know what the worst thing about being a slave is? They make you work all day but they don't pay you or let you go.

Leela

That's the only thing about being a slave.