There's a monkey at the door!
That must be my sister.
Your sister is a monkey?
S5Too Much Monkey Business
Ginger, get back here!
Joey, get back here! [sees the table filled with food] Girls, what are you doing?
Trying to keep the curse from falling on this house.
Well, keep trying. It's not working.
S5The Devil Made Me Do It
Kimmy, you're so dumb you don't even know how dumb you are.
You're the one who's dumb. Capital D-U-M!
Kimmy, there's a "B".
Where?!
Hey, have you guys seen Michelle? She's not in her room.
What do you mean she's not in her room? She's grounded.
Yeah, I checked the whole house. I don't know where she is.
She's gotta be around here somewhere.
I'll check the front.
I'll check the backyard.
Michelle!
Michelle!
Michelle!
[they keep searching until the phone rings and Danny answers it]
Hello? Oh, thank God. Yeah, okay. We'll-we'll be-we'll be right over. Thanks, Henry.
Well?
Michelle went down the street to Teddy's house. She ran away from home.
What?
What? Why would she do that?
Well, she was mad at me. She called me Uncle Tattletale.
Well, I'm gonna see to it she never runs away again.
What are you gonna do?
First I'm gonna hug her, then I'm gonna kiss her, then I'm gonna ground her for life.
Whoa, whoa, hold it, tall man. I got a better idea.
What?
Let's do what my dad did to me when I ran away. I guarantee she'll never do it again.
HHenry (Teddy's Dad)
Does your dad know you're here?
No. When you run away, you don't tell.
JJoanne (Teddy's Mom)
Why did you run away, sweetheart?
[referring to Jesse] To teach Uncle Tattletale a lesson!
DDenise (Teddy's Sister)
She's really cute. Can we keep her?
I'm a fun girl!
HHenry (Teddy's Dad)
Well, until we get this straightened out, you're welcome to stay here.
Thanks, New Dad!
JJoanne (Teddy's Mom)
Michelle, I think that's your family.
I bet they're coming to say they're sorry.
S5Driving Miss D.J.
It's just a car....uhhh [gets upset]
Dad, I have to learn to drive with music, like a normal person.
I don't want you driving like a normal person. I want you driving like me.
S5Yours, Mine and Ours
[about the twins] Come on, Becky, don't you think you're babying them a little bit?
Well, Jess, they are babies.
S5Trouble with Danny
Grab your Brillo and your broom.
EEveryone
Grab your Brillo and your broom.
Danny is a Looney Toon.
EEveryone
Danny is a Looney Toon.
What's wrong with you people? How can you get this house any cleaner? It's already the cleanest house in America.
How did I get so messed up? Guess it goes back to my mom. On my fifth birthday, she gave me my own set of vacuum cleaner attachments. She used to call me her special helper. Oh, my God. That's exactly what I'm doing to Michelle. She's probably gonna grow up and write one of those tell-all books, "Daddy Cleanest". I gotta make some changes in my life.
S5Five's a Crowd
Jesse, what's your take on this Pete guy?
He's a good kid.
Good. D.J. just went out with him.
What? You let her go out with that animal?
You just said he was a good kid.
He's in a band. All he thinks about is girls. He's exactly like I was when I was seventeen.
Oh, my God.
D.J., you can't keep giving us the silent treatment.
Okay, you wanna talk? Fine. I am totally humiliated! When this gets out at school, I'll never be asked out again! But that's what you wanted, isn't it? [storms upstairs]
I think we were doing better with the silent treatment.
S5Girls Will Be Boys
Let's play superhero.
I'll be Batman!
I'll be Superman!
I'll be the Little Mermaid.
That's not a superhero. That's a fish.
How about if Michelle is Wonder Woman?
That's impossible. She doesn't have black hair.
What was I thinking?
You can be Superman's mother.
What does Superman's mother do?
She lays out Superman's pajamas.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Full House pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.