Where's Tommy Page? Tell him his love slave is ready to fulfill his every wish.
D.J., why did you tell Kimmy?
Because I tell Kimmy everything.
Okay, then tell her to go home.
S5Crushed
You know what I just realized? I am sitting here talking to my little sister about boys and relationships. Steph, you're really growing up.
I must be, because ever since I turned 10, life got so complicated.
S5Spellbound
DDavey
Stephanie, I'm sorry. I gotta go home for dinner.
Hey, if you quit, you forfeit, Chu-meister. Dad, next word, please.
This is gonna be the last word. "Sarsaparilla".
Sarsaparilla. S-A-S-P-A-R-I-L-L-A. Sarsaparilla.
I'm sorry, Steph.
Why?
DDavey
Because it's: Sarsaparilla. S-A-R-S-A-P-A-R-I-L-L-A. Sarsaparilla.
(looks it up) Man, that's right. You really are the human dictionary.
Now, there's a silent "R"? I hate this language!
[Danny teaches Michelle to read using his own method]
"A" is for Ajax, "B" is for Brillo, "C" is for Clorox, "D" is for Drano.
S5Too Much Monkey Business
There's a monkey at the door!
That must be my sister.
Your sister is a monkey?
Ginger, get back here!
Joey, get back here! [sees the table filled with food] Girls, what are you doing?
Trying to keep the curse from falling on this house.
Well, keep trying. It's not working.
S5The Devil Made Me Do It
Kimmy, you're so dumb you don't even know how dumb you are.
You're the one who's dumb. Capital D-U-M!
Kimmy, there's a "B".
Where?!
Hey, have you guys seen Michelle? She's not in her room.
What do you mean she's not in her room? She's grounded.
Yeah, I checked the whole house. I don't know where she is.
She's gotta be around here somewhere.
I'll check the front.
I'll check the backyard.
Michelle!
Michelle!
Michelle!
[they keep searching until the phone rings and Danny answers it]
Hello? Oh, thank God. Yeah, okay. We'll-we'll be-we'll be right over. Thanks, Henry.
Well?
Michelle went down the street to Teddy's house. She ran away from home.
What?
What? Why would she do that?
Well, she was mad at me. She called me Uncle Tattletale.
Well, I'm gonna see to it she never runs away again.
What are you gonna do?
First I'm gonna hug her, then I'm gonna kiss her, then I'm gonna ground her for life.
Whoa, whoa, hold it, tall man. I got a better idea.
What?
Let's do what my dad did to me when I ran away. I guarantee she'll never do it again.
HHenry (Teddy's Dad)
Does your dad know you're here?
No. When you run away, you don't tell.
JJoanne (Teddy's Mom)
Why did you run away, sweetheart?
[referring to Jesse] To teach Uncle Tattletale a lesson!
DDenise (Teddy's Sister)
She's really cute. Can we keep her?
I'm a fun girl!
HHenry (Teddy's Dad)
Well, until we get this straightened out, you're welcome to stay here.
Thanks, New Dad!
JJoanne (Teddy's Mom)
Michelle, I think that's your family.
I bet they're coming to say they're sorry.
S5Driving Miss D.J.
It's just a car....uhhh [gets upset]
Dad, I have to learn to drive with music, like a normal person.
I don't want you driving like a normal person. I want you driving like me.
S5Yours, Mine and Ours
[about the twins] Come on, Becky, don't you think you're babying them a little bit?
Well, Jess, they are babies.
S5Trouble with Danny
Grab your Brillo and your broom.
EEveryone
Grab your Brillo and your broom.
Danny is a Looney Toon.
EEveryone
Danny is a Looney Toon.
What's wrong with you people? How can you get this house any cleaner? It's already the cleanest house in America.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Full House pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.