TV show quotes
[Phoebe and Mike are planning their wedding.]
There's no way around it, Pheebs. You just got to accept the fact that this is going to cost you a lot of money.
I heard that weddings are, like, a 40 billion dollar a year industry.
Yeah, and I'm responsible for just, like, half of that.
[to the adoption lady] We're so glad you're here. We're really excited about getting this process started.
Because we love kids. Love them to death. Well, not actually to death. That's just a figure of speech. We love kids the appropriate amount... as allowed by law.
Brussels sprouts? That's worse than no food!
To Monica and Chandler! And that knocked-up girl in Ohio!
Look! Look what the-Look what the floating heads did!
I don't care.
What's going on?
That was the adoption agency.
And?
We're getting a baby!
ARE YOU SERIOUS?! [They embrace]
Did you at least get the pies?
Pies!?! We thought you said prize!
[Hands Monica Emma's trophy]
Grand Supreme Little Darling?
Con-grat-u-la-tions!!!
We don't feel we can host Thanksgiving this year.
What?
Are you kidding?
Well, just with work and the stress of adoption we just don't feel like we have the energy. Plus, we don't think it's fair that every year the burden falls on us.
That doesn't sound like you. That's Monica talking!
No, no, we made this decision together.
She's putting words in your mouth!
Don't you put words in people's mouths. You put turkey in people's mouths.
[Yells] JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!!
[Ross enters the cafe house wearing Rachel's shirt]
So, what do you think?
I think were not wearing the same shirt anymore!
Dude, I don't think you should be wearing that.
Oh, I see. Somebody's afraid of a little competition with the ladies?
It looks like someone is the ladies!
So Joey's out with my friend the other night and she reaches over and takes some of his fries...
Oh, no.
You know about the plate thing?
Oh, yeah. Joey doesn't share food. I mean just, just lask week we were having breakfast and he had a couple grapes on his plate.
[to Joey] You wouldn't let her have a grape?
Oh, no, not me. Emma.
JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD.
My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this, but the woman's always right... I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I... it kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby... Please?
[The friends and Emma are at Central Perk and Monica is enjoying a piece of chocolate cake.]
Mmmm...this cake is amazing!
[repulsed] Get a room!
I would get a room with this cake. I could show this cake a good time!
If you had to, what would you give up? Food or sex?
[quickly] Sex.
[unimpressed] Seriously, answer faster!
I'm sorry! When she said sex I wasn't thinking about sex with you!
[still feeling hurt] It's like a giant hug!
Ross, how about you? Which would you give up? Sex or food?
[quickly] Food!
How about sex or dinosaurs?
[in a state of uncertainty] My...! It's like Sophie's Choice!
What about you Joe? What would you give up? Sex or food?
[after thinking] I don't know, it's too hard!
No, you have to pick one!
[quickly] Food! No, sex! Food! Sex! Food! Sex...I don't know, I want both! I want girls on bread!
So, what'd you think of the house?
It's perfect! It's everything we've been looking for!
Isn't it? And what about the amazing wainscoting and the crown molding and the dormer windows in the attic?
And the wigglewoms and the zipzorps?... What were the things you said?
We think Chandler might be having an affair.
What?
Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street, and then we followed them to a house in Westchester.
They went in together. I'm so sorry.
Oh, my... oh, my, that's awful... What did you think of the house?
What?
Monica, you understand what we're saying, right?
Yeah... sure... I'm... devastated, obviously!... Did you think the neighborhood was homey?
[Chandler enters]
Hey!
You son of a bitch.
Is it me, or have the greetings really gone downhill around here?
[On the game show Pyramid, Joey's partner Gene gets the word "cream."]
You put this in your coffee.
A spoon! Your hands! Your face!
It's white.
Paper! Snow! A ghost!
It's heavier than milk.
A rock! A dog! The earth!
Pass!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Friends pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
