Friends quotes

613 total quotes

Chandler: Brenda, a bee! Yes! it's flown into your blouse and you'd better undo your buttons lest it sting you!

Chandler: Did you do it on our invitations?
Ross: Not on the ones we sent out.
Chandler: Oh, so, just the ones you gave back to us and we had framed?

Chandler: I'm not great with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?... Cheese?

Chandler: Monica, can I talk to you for a second? [approaches Monica] I really appreciate you getting me the costume!
Rachel: You did this to him?
Monica: I thought he'd love it! His favourite book was The Velveteen Rabbit.
Chandler: That rabbit was brown and white!
Monica: It was a pink bunny or no bunny at all.
Chandler: No bunny at all! ALWAYS NO BUNNY AT ALL!

Chandler: Why have I seen this thing three times?!

Chandler:Honey, we are so meant to be. Look, we both have copies of the 'Annie' soundtrack!
Monica:Honey? Both yours.

Chandler:[About Parker] Somewhere there is someone with a tranquilizer gun and a huge butterfly net looking for that man.

Dr. Green: [on the phone, which Rachel left on the counter] You never think of the consequences of your decisions!
Joey: [picks up the phone] Hey! I do too think about the consequences of my decisions... Well what gives you the right to- ... Go to hell!
[Joey hangs up the phone angrily]
Joey: Stupid guy on my phone.

Joey: [Talking to Monica over the phone because he and Phoebe mistakenly broke down Monica and Chandler's apartment door ] Hey Monica, Phoebe and I smelt gas coming from your apartment.
Monica: Oh, my...! [looks at Chandler] Joey smells gas
Chandler: What else is new?
Monica: [to joey on the phone] well yo have to get in there
Joey: Yeah but you took away our keys, would it be okay if we say, broke your door down.
Monica: Yes! Yes! Just get in, break the door down whatever!
Joey: Okay, we'll do that. [Gives thumbs up sign to Phoebe]

Joey: How did the date go ?
Ross: Great ! I'm across the street, having sex right now !!!

Joey: I once saw this movie where there was a door, and nobody knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open, millions and MILLIONS of bugs came POURING out, and they feasted on human flesh! [Looks at door nervously] You know, IT WOULDN'T KILL YOU TO RESPECT YOUR WIFE'S PRIVACY!

Joey: I... I think I'm falling in love with you.
Rachel:[After a moment] Who you talking to?

Joey: In my spare time, I, uh, read to the blind. And I'm also a mento for kids.
Interviewer: A "mento"?
Joey: You know, a mento. A role model.
Interviewer: A men-to.
Joey: Right.
Interviewer: Like the candy?
Joey: As a matter of fact, I do.

Joey: Well I had a great time! Learned how to bake, ate great food, that's the first A I've gotten since seventh grade, and I didn't have to sleep with the teacher this time.
Monica: Oh, look! Acting for Beginners! Want to feel good about yourself?
Joey: What the hell!
Monica: Okay.
[They enter]
The Acting Teacher: All right, let's start with some basics. Can anybody tell me what the difference between frontstage and backstage is?
[No one can and Monica looks at Joey expectantly]

Joey: Yeah, this was a stupid idea. [Exits]